Sark After Dark

So Steve Sarkisian got a little crunk on the big Salute to Troy night for the USC Football Program. According to several sources, he was fumbling around, used foul language and insulted other programs, particularly Notre Dame, Oregon and UCLA (nice).  This became dreadfully apparent after he showcased his inner frat boy while screaming “Fight the Fuck On,” into the podium mic right in front of the baby boomer big time donors.  Once his three sheets to the wind state became brazenly evident, Pat Haden immediately escorted him off the stage and began scolding him behind closed doors.  Thanks Dad.

tumblr_lgzb4jm3K41qh59n0o1_400

The only real sources from that night is a 5 second video clip from some random, a few tweets here and there and straight word of mouth…like the good old days.

LA Times Sports columnist Bill Plaschke released a quite alarming video stressing the issue that USC really needs to be concerned about coach Steve Sarkisian’s behavior at the Salute to Troy event.

It’s almost as if he is rooting for some sort of immediate termination.  Sarkisian released a statement claiming that he mixed prescription medicine with alcohol, mind you that this alcohol was completely free all night and most likely the best money can buy.  Any intelligent individual would have to agree that his behavior was irresponsible, childish and wrong, especially because he is the head football coach, one of the highest positions of authority on campus, some may even argue even in the Pac-12 Conference.

Im-Cool-gifSo Plaschke’s reactionary video draws up some important points but I think his response was more so fueled by that “shocking” gossip chatter that many nowadays consider actual news. The guy is going through a messy divorce and decided to throw back a few free drinks.  Who wouldn’t do the same? The only difference is that this guy had to go up and make a speech in front of hundreds of people, the same people who have very deep pockets, pockets that would like to be lightened by generous donations and such.  Plaschke has every right to say what he thinks and feels, that’s why the LA times pays him.  However, this Plaschke response seems a bit exaggerated, placing emphasis on buzz worthy words like “problems,” “humiliation,” and of course, the cliche “this is your wake-up call.”  Did Sarkisian even need a wake-up call in the first place?   How his players look at him is not the problem at all Plaschke, if anything his players are applauding this type of behavior because they can relate first-hand, “Hey, coach gettin’ turnt up!”

Turnt01Funny because a year ago, Plaschke was singing his praises…

Funny how things can change over the span of 1 year, 1 incident no less.

Sarkisian has a lot of responsibilities that he must be held to on and off the field.  This unfortunate event couldn’t have come at a worse time for USC.  This is the first year USC is off NCAA probation.  The Class of 2015 is the first full recruiting class USC has been able to put together for the first time in four years.  This is still USC’s year, their time to rise and shine despite Sarkisian’s antics.  Don’t ride off a team just because their coach got drunk.  I bet you anything Les Miles does this shit all the time.  Then again, that is the sacred SEC and this is the menial Pac-12, standards could be a bit skewed.

EDSBS-Les-Miles-ClapI don’t think a formal punishment is necessary.  I think the shame and embarrassment alone will suffice for now until the season even starts.  Sarkisian knows what he has to do this season to shut people up: WIN.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-4762-1388429483-17One thing is still certain though.  He is still better than Kiffin.

ndmspaint_kifgif

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Excited For College Football 2015

College Football 2015 is fast approaching and I can hardly contain my excitement.  Almost as excited as Tim Tebow’s first day as an Alter Boy.

Fullscreen-capture-9122014-101918-AM.bmp

So I assembled my top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming 2015 season.

10. Alabama vs. Tennessee

Even though Tennessee will be meeting Alabama in Tuscaloosa, it will still be entertaining to see Lane Kiffin squirm on the sidelines. After all, Knoxville did name their sewage system after Kiffin’s unexpected departure. Only a lucky few college football coaches have ever received such an honor.

lane-kiffin-what-is-that

9. Charlie Strong Wrangling The Longhorns?

Is Charlie Strong in the hot seat? As college football fans are well aware, Texas football is not only a way of life, it IS life. They expect championships and expect no less.  Charlie Strong is entering his second year as their head coach. His 2nd!  Honestly, if Texas wins one more game than they did last year, that wouldn’t matter.  But if Texas faces another dismal season in 2015 and fires Strong entering the 2016 season….geeze, get a life Texas.

EssentialExemplaryEyelashpitviper

8. Beat the Irish!

Notre Dame is ranked #10 in the preseason polls.  It really grinds me gears that no matter how shitty they were the season before, Notre Dame always seems to creep their way into the top 25 preseason poles.  WTF?! Yea well, Rudy won’t save you this season.

uschit

You-suck-man-angry-fuming-Gary-Oldman-livid-mad-pissed-point-rage-raging-upset-yell-yelling-you-suck-GIF-2015

7. Wow! Oregon’s Uniforms!

You gotta hand it to them, every season the Oregon Ducks give our eyes a nice little gift: tight neon-colored spandex boasting feathers of flight. Flight to Football. Nice.

b74195828d85d0fd2854b35202987cc35cdb3d232e54af46f3fe2917bff4e053

6. Urban Meyer’s Non-Existent Health Problem

Let’s see if he makes it out another year. Sorry Meyer family, the Buckeyes are far more important than you.  Careful there Urban, your anger may only exacerbate that heart condition of yours….

urban-meyer-is-mad

5. Everett “Cheater” Golson Taking Over For Crab Legs

Should be entertaining to see a Notre Dame drop out attempt to form his own legacy following Heisman Trophy-Winning Crab Stealing Misogynist Winston. It is quite the legacy, I must say.  However, Golson is one of the smallest QBs in the game.  Apparently, Golson could be the shortest Florida State QB in nearly 30 years.  He has no chance.

FireShot Screen Capture #2555 - 'ESPN CollegeFootball on Twitter_ _Everett Golson had one of his worst career games vs_ Arizona State on Saturday #CFBLive http___t_co_hFwJmal0q3_' - twitter_com_es

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

4. Introducing Ann Arbor’s Own: Constipation Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see Constipation Face take the Big House by storm. Not so much with his football team, but with his douche-bag childish antics and ridiculous facial expressions, I’m sure we are in for some pure laughter. Those high rising tight khakis alone are up for a College Football comeback.

harbaughhomecoming.0

And my personal favorite….

interception

3. Another Year, Another Year Older Can Only Mean One Thing: Retirement For Lee Corso!

Homeboy needs to pack his bags and take up golf. Someone just has to beat College Game Day out of him.  Or maybe just have one bad fall….. (I’m going to hell)

816272592

2. Playoffs Take 2

2nd time can be a charm.

Mtv-style-2nd-birthday-2

1. FIGHT ON

Oh yeah 🙂

tumblr_inline_ndqgemSWVx1rjic88

The Battle of LA – The Battle of the Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs

ucla-campus-usc-paint-bear                                                   tommy_trjan

usc-vs-ucla

The biggest college football game in the City of Angels is almost upon us.  Can’t you just smell the hatred and bitterness in the air with every passing pedestrian on the street?  Fortunately for us, during every college football game in Los Angeles ( well, for any big event taking place in the city for that matter), the streets usually smell like those delectable bacon wrapped hot dogs sold on every street corner.  The crackling  and greasy aroma is beyond intoxicating.

tumblr_lnpxvi1vde1qi0doro1_1280

tumblr_ndcxd9fLDc1s2wio8o1_500You would think the Battle of LA could be settled over a shared round of these delicious bacon wrapped hot dogs. If the Pilgrims can come together with the native Americans over a plate of potatoes….then maybe the Trojans and Bruins can to.  Sadly no, they are just too damn good and they should only belong to one team and one team alone.  And that is USC, because frankly, I think they sell more in South Los Angeles than they do in the bougie parking lot of the Rose Bowl.  Oh wait, the Rose Bowl isn’t even encompassed by the city streets of LA?!  The Rose Bowl isn’t even on the FUCLA campus…..hmmmmmmm now that is a disadvantage for those pesky Bruins.

The freakin’ Rose Bowl is literally an hour away from campus.  Now what kind of school spirit is that?  I’ll tell you, one that lets its students drink and drive, that’s what!

FireShot Screen Capture #1403 - 'getting to rose bowl from ucla - Google Search' - www_google_com_search_site=&source=hp&q=getting+to+rose+bowl+from+ucla&oq=getting+to+rose+bowl+from+ucla&gs_l=hp_The game this year will be held at the Rose Bowl, a place where your backs go to die.  Have you sat in those seats? There are no backs, they are merely just cold metal benches. The Rose Bowl fails to accommodate those who actually don’t want to feel back pain.  Might as well stay at your tailgate, watch the game from a flat screen TV nestled in the back of someone’s SUV and sit in a lawn chair.

tumblr_inline_nfdf8iLk101sylflo

Aside from no beer being sold in the Rose Bowl, this is sadly a reality with the Coliseum as well.  Us fans in LA just can’t seem to handle our booze in a respectable fashion.  Which is why those bacon wrapped hot dogs come into play.  Those hot dogs could potentially save lives, sobering up fans before and after the game, so as to not make an embarrassing scene.  You never know.

tumblr_nf5xxpqD1n1siz1fdo2_250

In addition to the glory of winning and presiding over Los Angeles as if it were their own personal playground of youth indiscretion for the rest of year, I think the winning team should also receive reign over these bacon wrapped hot dogs.  Make the pot a bit tastier and sweeter.

tumblr_m5wx7gXd411r8vo5qo2_500

Even though FUCLA is favored by 3.5 points, I think USC can take them and win. Losing the past 3 years has put USC in the hot seat, made them more hungry for the victory, giving them something to prove to not only themselves, but to their stomachs.  I strongly believe the Trojans’ can take the Bruins tomorrow night, if not for the citywide bragging rights but for those damn good hot dogs.

tumblr_ljthqnlRgf1qet7w5

tumblr_ljthuakwSN1qet7w5

And please Tommy Trojan, stab the hell out of that field for all that is awesome and heavenly delectable.

USC v UCLA

USC gets the Finger..again

Another NCAA sanction, another sad sad day in Trojan land 😦

Sad-SC-Fan

Seriously there should be a free happy hour at USC on campus somewhere every time the NCAA announces new sanctions to another University……to drown their sorrows in an endless amount of PBR.  That would at least help……for an hour.

3rwst9

Finally after lengthy two and a half-year investigation, the NCAA announced their sanctions on Miami University Athletics that is docking the Hurricanes Football program a total of 9 scholarships over the next three years.  The NCAA forgot to ban the team from playing in bowl games.  Mind you, this is the last year college football is going to see BCS Bowl Games (THANK GOD).  But seriously, what gives NCAA?

miami-blog

Oh wait.  Wouldn’t you know?  The NCAA cited lack of “institutional control” of the Hurricanes decades of violations:

The University of Miami lacked institutional control when it did not monitor the activities of a major booster, the men’s basketball and football coaching staffs, student-athletes and prospects for a decade, according to findings by the Division I Committee on Infractions.

Approximately 30 student-athletes were involved with the booster. Several football coaches, three men’s basketball coaches and two athletics department staff members were also involved in the case. These staff members had a poor understanding of NCAA rules or felt comfortable breaking them. Furthermore, some of the coaches provided false information during the enforcement staff and university’s investigation.

um-bg-cover

Interesting choice of phrases here: “lack of institutional control,” “decades of violations” and “30 Student-Athletes were involved.”  It’s just baffling to hear these words come out of the NCAA fat cats’ mouths.

Mark Emmert

I am almost certain I am not the only blog erupting with anger and frustration about these Miami sanctions.  How long are College Presidents, coaches and athletes going to listen to these NCAA ass clowns?

I know Pat Haden must be fuming with rage.  The man is literally doing all he can do to save the USC football program, the one football program who got the harshest sanctions since the SMU scandal. (Look below, you can just see the fires of Mordor in his eyes, patiently waiting to pounce and kill).

pat_haden

SMU….funny I should mention them because the Miami scandal is quite similar.  Many student athletes and staff were well aware of Texas oil tycoons handing out money and gifts to players, even including the nefarious “slush fund.”  The “Slush Fund” was used for under the table payments to players starting in the 1970’s to 1986.  So it makes sense why their penalty was so severe.  Over a decade of violations, lack of institutional judgement and down right smug nature, SMU’s football program was, and possibly now, dunzo.  Well dunzo for a while….they still have yet to fully recover.

082311-01smudeathpenalty

Now next up on the chopping block is USC.  There was 1 player over the span of 2 years that received money and other gifts, while the NCAA cited lack of “institutional control.”  Seeing how institutional control over many players vs. just 1, the punishment would less severe of course.  How can you expect a University to keep multiple players in check?  The NCAA did the right thing, a University should at least have control over 1 player versus many. Puke in my mouth……

reggie-bush-heisman-88934264f756ca5b

Oh the absurdity is just running rampant up in Indianapolis, IN.  Absurdity or Idiocy.  Take your pick.

I just don’t know if I can take another released sanction from the NCAA.  I don’t know if they can even take it themselves.  Every sanction that is released is just a laugher.  Do they seriously feel that they have any credibility and integrity left?  I have Mad Magazines that hold more integrity than the NCAA.

$T2eC16V,!)cE9s4PtnFlBRZLRCYwjw~~60_35

As College Sports fans, we can only hope that nobody (and I mean NOBODY), no players, no coaches, no administrations, no mascots, no Universities, no NOTHING commit another violation in the near future.  Come on NCAA, is it too much to ask to bring back some honesty and principle back into College Football?   Lee Corso is just killing us over here.

Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit - 2006

The $$ Irish

One of the most celebrated rivalries in college football took place last Saturday evening in good old South Bend, IN: Notre Dame vs. USC.

notre-dame-vs-usc-2013

I luckily have had the chance to attend this decorated event every other year and see all what the Fighting Irish have to offer.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been to South Bend before and have loved every minute of it: the fantasy like campus set in the lush forest, the crisp fall October weather, the old brick buildings, the one of kind religious monuments sprinkled all over campus…the list can go on because Notre Dame Campus is that awesome.

Touchdown Jesus-thumb-600x369-53771

4713061598_a0842471df_z

However, this trip around, I noticed some gaping downfalls of attending a football game at Notre Dame.  As a USC fan, granted I was wearing an embarrassing Trojan football helmet I stole at a frat party, I would either receive a few accolades or a few insults from football fans alike, I may not be the most reliable source….

NotreDame-Sucks-Converted[1]

But what the hell,  this is my sports blog.  Here are 6 points that need to be said about those Irish at Notre Dame.

1. The Book Store

bookstore1-lg

I have been to Notre Dame at least 5 times before but for god sakes does their Book Store need to be so damn big?  In the past I was a child, had no reference to any other university student store out there.  Now as a graduate of college and graduate school,  I have seen my fair share of student stores.

Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Photo by Matt Cashore/University of Notre Dame

Notre Dame’s just takes it to entirely new level.  3 levels to be exact.  The size of the student store alone looks like an apartment complex.  The square footage alone can fit a baseball field.  I mean, how much college paraphernalia does one school need?  Apparently, a shit load: $8.3 billion endowment.

One would think their money would be put to more practical use.  But wait, this is Notre Dame we are talking about.  They have more money than they know what to do with.  And that comes to my next point.

2.  The Campus

university_of_notre_dame

Holy Bejingo.  This campus is HUGE, almost the size of UCLA, ya know, just without the hills and steps….and sunshine.  I asked a fellow alum how many total students are on campus, undergrads and graduates…..or just looked it up on Wikipedia.  11,733 students on a campus that is 1,250 acres.  Now let us compare this to a University that is known to have one of the largest student bodies: The University of Wisconsin, 38,255 students on a campus that is 936 acres.   How about University of California, Berkeley: 35,899 students on a campus that is 1,232 acres.

Aerial of the central campus Photo by Matt Cashore/University of Notre Dame

Now does that statistically make sense?  Hell no.

I get it, South Bend, IN isn’t the most lucrative place and the area has plenty of land to go around.  Even Farmer John doesn’t want to buy land there.  And you know the campus is just going to get bigger and bigger, with their student body numbers remaining exactly the same.  Yea, the students really need all that space, how do you think they get their creative juices flowing?  And what about that Art School huh?

april2011childrensart

3. The Band

notre_dame_marching_band-9698

One of the best parts about visiting another school for a football game is seeing their band perform.  Although nobody can be as nearly as good as the Spirit of Troy, Notre Dame does have one of the best fight songs.  So as a visiting college football fan, you can’t help but feel a little giddy when the band is about the play on the steps of a building in the middle of the Quad.

usc_4

But this time around was completely different.  Seeing how the band Chicago went to Notre Dame and I am sure donated millions of dollars to the school, the band decided to dedicate their entire play time to Chicago songs.  And not just sheet music, we are talking American Idol singing performances with little to no band participation.

CHICAGO-2006-color-752999

What the hell is this?!  I don’t care if Chicago donated millions and millions of dollars, Notre Dame already has billions of dollars, that doesn’t make it acceptable for fans traveling to South Bend to come watch a college football game be forced to watch amateur Chicago hour.  And South Bend ain’t an easy place to get to.

Is it so much to ask for a college marching band to play its own fight song?  I guess not when Chicago and a big check are in town 😛

4. The Stadium

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets v Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Gotta love those old classic stadiums built in the 1930’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I love an old stadium that has character, has history and tradition.  Those are really hard to come by now a days. But Notre Dame really?  After the 1997 renovation, expanding the seating from 50,097 to 80,795, you would think this new and improved stadium would be the cats pajamas.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Have you seen the seats?  Notre Dame seating is composed of long wooden benches, wooden benches that weren’t included in the renovation, OR, were included in the renovation but modeled after the original 1930’s seats.  These seats are about 15 inches wide with small white numbers designated each seat.  Do you know how fat Americans are now a days?  A butt load bigger than we were in the 1930’s that is for sure.  BUTT being the operative word.  And we are only going to get bigger and fatter.  Just look at the country’s child obesity rate…….thanks Ronald McDonald.

01500_notrbench000221

Nobody is ever sitting in their actual seats because horizontally challenged people can’t seem to stay in their own goddamn seat.  Especially in cold weather, when people are bundled up like the inflated Michelin man, you tend to take up a bit more square footage.

You would think with all the cha-ching, they would renovate the seats to house the ever-growing fatness of America.

fat america

5. Night Game

Why in god’s name would you have a night game in late October in South Bend, IN?!  Speaking from a Sunny Californian perspective, that is hella cold bra.  Honestly with the seating and the weather (RAIN), why would Notre Dame ever think that it would be ok to have a night game.

Oh yes, of course.  Thank you NBC.  Notre Dame’s lucrative TV deal with NBC forces them to comply with television ratings and broadcasting of other football games.  SIGH.  Let the fans who are at the game suffer while the fans at home enjoy an ice-cold beer and warm hot dog by the roaring fire-place.

NBC-nbc-324558_1196_1196

6. The Fans

notre-dame-fans_Champ3

This particular game was a little special for me because I was never told by a Notre Dame fan at a football game to “Be Quite.” Are you kidding?  This isn’t the opera lady, we are at a FREAKING FOOTBALL GAME.  I swear if I was the level of drunk I wish I was at considering the cold weather, this old lady and her husband would never show their faces in Los Angeles.

th

While watching one of the WORST football games I have ever seen (mind you I just say football, because I have seen High School football games better than this one), I couldn’t help but notice the surrounding fans.  What the hell else was I going to do, watch a football game?

One always has to remind oneself of this little tidbit when at a Notre Dame Football Game: half of the fans didn’t even go to Notre Dame.  One half are old fogey alumni who are all on medicare telling fans to be quiet as the other half are townies from South Bend who have nothing else better to do than attend a Notre Dame football game.  Hell, some of these fans LIVE and BREATHE Notre Dame, DOMERS we like call them.

notre-dame-reaching-sports-fans-recruits-with-spotify-playlists

These fans are tasteless drunkards who are some of the most foul-smelling people you can be around.  You can immediately tell the difference between alumni and townies, townies are the ones who can’t shut the f*ck up and are relentless in their dim-witted name calling and obnoxious swearing.   Yelling for “Mark Sanchez to come in for Cody Kessler!”……come on man you can’t you come up with something a bit more creative than that?  You walk around campus don’t you?

YES, I am going to pull the “I am better than you” card because “I have an education and have seen life outside Hickville.”

90vfQ.St.56

These townies don’t really have much of a life outside of Notre Dame, so you gotta give them the benefit of the doubt on game days.  But no, they are terrible fans and considering Notre Dame’s prestigious reputation and vast bank account, one would assume that these fans wouldn’t even be allowed on the church steps.

10-31-09-San-Antonio-Gameday-1

A majority of this list all comes down to the one thing that makes the college sports world go ’round: $$

ChangeCongress-FollowTheMoney696

Money exudes out like sweat at Notre Dame, from the campus, the buildings, the band and the culture.  With such a great prestigious reputation, you would hope the University wasn’t as so immersed into such a Scrooge McDuck persona.

(BTW: Wasn’t RUDY Ruettiger charged in a stock scheme in 2011?)

Rudy-poster1

BUT, that is entirely hypocritical.  All Universities wish they could be like Notre Dame, they all wish they had the same donors with deep pockets, dedicated alumni, smarty pants students and collegiate tradition that surpasses most.

Despite money being the utmost importance to Universities, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is ok to push their financial gain into the lime light.  Students and Alumni have managed to find other finer things in life, like serving beer at the stadium, treating visiting fans with respect, expanding the student body, making sure fans are comfortable enough to sit down in their own seats and playing the goddamn FIGHT SONG.

notre-dame-gets-whooped

As a Trojan fan I will always chant, “BEAT THE IRISH,” but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to enjoy my stay at South Bend next time.  Get it together Notre Dame.

Dawn of a new era?

A new day, a new game, a new coach, a new life.

uscbaby

Interim Head Coach Ed Orgeron of USC debuted his awesome possum leadership skills last week during the Trojan’s 38-31 win against the Arizona Wildcats.  Even USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden, was impressed with the atmosphere in the Trojan’s locker room before the Arizona game: “I’ve never seen anything like it.  It was unbelievable.”

Haden-LR-CU-SH-thumb-450x299-31963

After the victory over Arizona, Haden said “Coach O was awesome” and cited the energy and joy of the players.  Rather than quietly contemplating the start of the game, music filled the locker room.

“I don’t know what the music was,” Haden said. “It’s not on my iPod — it was weird music, but they loved it.”  Nice.  Too bad Kiffin’s favorite music is Taylor Swift.

NCAA Football: Southern California at Arizona State

I think we can all agree that the Trojans might have found their future and Lane Kiffin is really really depressed about it.  You could see how depressed he is if you watched him last Saturday at the College Gameday broadcast at Washington University, where Chris Fowler interviewed the poor bastard, asking him about his recent flame out with USC.  With chants of “You Got Fired” resounding behind him, Kiffin insisted that he still loves coaching and described the experience of watching USC defeat Arizona as “like watching someone else raise your kids.”  Yea, kids who don’t love you.  How does that feel Kiffy?

Before concluding his interview with Fowler, Kiffin signaled to athletic directors around the country that he was ready to try again, referencing his “next job” and “young age.”

Puke in my mouth Kiffin.  You probably won’t get hired somewhere until the off-season. Calm down.  With keeping young age in mind, can you answer me this: What have you accomplished?  What positive effect have you had on the world?  Every job you had as a head coach, you were fired or immediately left in shambles, leaving only a Sewage System in your name. Enough about Kiffin, he is dunzo and we shouldn’t waste anymore of our valuable time on the useless douche of a coach.

kiffin_sewage-copy

Whether Orgeron will remain the head coach remains to be seen.  Despite the win, there was still some gaping problems no one can ignore like a depleting defense that gives up in the second half and an offense still trying to find its footing with a newcomer quarterback.  However, it was still pretty freaking sweet seeing them win, and having fun while doing it.

1381471895000-USP-NCAA-Football-Arizona-at-Southern-California-003Orgeron is bringing the fire and passion back to the game, something Kiffin was sorely lacking.  Even though it seems like the most important thing right now is to win, I think the hope that Orgeron represents is far more important, especially to the players.  The players are the ones who need that hope to drive them to go to practice at 6am, the drive to play for a coach they actually want to play for, the drive they need to WIN.

1528486_sp_usc_utah_state033_LSSo here is to the new coach, here is to a new team, here is to a new era in Trojan Land.  An era without Kiffin.  Can I get an AMEN up in this biatch?!

Thank you.

Keep a Happy Face?

If you are a Trojan fan, can we please have a little chat about the future of this football team?

kiffin-usc-0204jpg-a0fcc77f21f08b0a_large

I am so sick of hearing the words ‘rebuilding,’ ‘sanctions,’ ‘hardship,’ and ‘drama.’  The one time the Trojans, particularly Lane Kiffin, had the chance to escape the depths of football crap….he didn’t…well, kinda sorta not really.

national-signing-day

National signing day was a couple of weeks ago and the Trojans failed to sign the usual ‘A’ winning class like they have had the last 5 years.   I guess it comes down to the good ol’ debate, ‘Quality vs. Quantity.’  According to Scout.com, USC attained 4-5 star recruits, which is pretty sweet but only a measly 12.  The typical number of a college football recruiting class is 25.  Now that is a hit to the ego.

NCAA FOOTBALL: OCT 16 Cal at USC

Remember those pesky NCAA sanctions they have to deal with 4 years ago? Yea they are still paying for it and will be for what seems like an endless amount of time.  This is the last year the Trojans face scholarship restrictions, taking away 10 scholarships per season, which seems like nothing but has been harming the team since day 1.  That number alone makes up a solid Defensive and Offensive line, which the team desperately needs.

USC TROJANS VS UCLA BRUINS

USC’s 2013 group of recruits are better than most classes out there, but it’s the high expectations that will forever plague any player that walks through Heritage Hall.  The Trojans managed to snag a couple of solid defensive players, running back and an All-American Quarterback from Washington.T

1067974Ty Issac, RB, 6’2 215 pounds out of Illinois has great hands and speed which is perfect for SC seeing how the team will be saying goodbye to Robert Woods and Curtis McNeal.  You can never have enough offense.

 

 

 

 

kenny-bigelow_edited

Defensive player Kenny Bigelow, 6’3 297 out of Maryland pounds is so versatile that in high school he played linebacker, defensive tackle, defensive end and even tight end.  Ridiculous. No wonder he is a 5 star recruit.  Sounds like this kid’s quick change of direction and speed are his winning assets, forcing double teams and breaking runs.  This is guy is seriously going to get some playing time and secure a starting spot.

 

Steven Mitchell, WR 5’10 from Mission Hills, CA is not as tall as anyone would hope, but boy does he make up for it in speed.  Speedy Gonzalez speed!  This four star recruit has great hands, quick feet, runs solid routes and can change direction in a flash.  If given a chance, I think USC can have another play maker in their hands.

thSu’a Cravens.  S out of the middle of nowhere California. But fun name right?  Apparently this athlete is a genius, scoring a very high football IQ. Dangerous in the pass coverage, Cravens, his instincts are what really separates him from the rest.  It is instincts that make a defensive player indispensable and reliable, a play maker who knows what they are doing.  Now isn’t that a thought.

 

 

Max Browne. QB from Washington (take that Steve Sarkisian!) is considered by many the top quarterback in this 2013 class.  This 5 star recruit is everything you want in an élite quarterback.  Lucky for him, this spring is going to be an open quarterback competition at USC, giving him the chance to beat at Wittek and start as a true freshman, just like Barkley.  From his arm strength to his accuracy, Browne appears to be the complete package.  Does this kid have a downfall?  Who the mofo knows until you put him in those high pressure situations.  It won’t be easy for Browne to start competing with so-so Wittek and Cody Kessler, who has yet to get any play time.  But the pressure to win and for USC to get out of their ‘let’s fire’ Kiffin temper tantrum, Maxie Browne has a good shot.rn_maxbrowne4_ms_600

For the love of GOD, I pray that this recruiting class live up to all expectations.  But sadly, lately USC football always has a way of royally screwing up and frankly, it’s not entirely their fault.  It would so easy to place all the blame on Lane Kiffin, so why stop now.  For now (and who knows how long that will last) the problem is Lane Kiffin.  Last year he proved that despite the harsh sanctions, he can effectively formulate and coach a winning team.  They beat the Oregon Ducks for pete sake.

This year proved to show Kiffin’s unfortunate true colors.  All of the childish mishaps and immature stints from deflating footballs, changing jerseys, even to Kiffin’s ridiculous play calling….all have accumulated to make a disaster.  So much of a disaster that this season will go down in the books.  A #1 ranked team that falls into the depths of college football hell, next to the boys on the 1986 SMU team.

Kiffin.Sucks_

I really don’t want to keep giving Kiffin the benefit of the doubt, but this 2013 season is the last straw.  Even if Kiffin wasn’t the coach, USC is a school known to always produce a decent recruiting class because what 18-year-old boy wouldn’t want to come to LA, live the sweet West Coast life and play on national TV.  Exactly.

Wouldn’t it be nice to actually check out the recruits and see the new boys in actions?  Yea, no. Nobody can because Kiffin has ended open practices , which now remain closed to everybody.  This is another failure on Kiffin’s part.

107174101_crop_650x440

It’s hard to keep a happy face when Kiffin doesn’t.  Maybe he should try and smile once in a while, show a little emotion and enthusiasm when talking about his team or when on the field calling idiotic plays.  When Kiffin changes, the team will change.  Here is to a better, and FUN, 2013.

Hey Kiffin!  Fight On with a Smile 🙂

Blame it on the ButtFace

Screen Shot 2012-12-03 at 9.29.01 AM

Ouch LA Times. ouch.  Hope Lane Kiffin doesn’t read the paper because his approval rating has dropped lower than Taylor Swift’s panties.  I mean this was a ridiculous long time coming, just take a look at THE worst season a college football team has EVER seen.  If you think Manti Te’o’s dating skills are tragic, take a look at USC.

Lane Kiffin

2012 has been the worst year USC football has ever seen.  Where to begin….?  Well I think it all started in New York at Met Life Stadium.  SC was expected to slaughter a not so great Syracuse football team at least by a couple of touchdowns.  No, SC only won by 13…..in retrospect in should have been a lot more to a Big East Team whose previous season record was a measly 5-7.  I wish this was the only and last ::Sigh:: this Trojan fan would have for a season that started off so promising, ranked #1 in the country.

football-money   After opening last football season ranked #1, the Trojans sank to an unbelievably embarrassing 7-6 record under the not so great tutelage of Coach Lane Kiffin.  Is he to blame?  At this point int time…….yes….yes he can…..and should for many MANY reasons.  Even USC Athletic Director Pat Haden knows that football program’s derailed state of affairs, especially when all the hatred and blame is being pointed directly at Kiffin’s visor wearing head.  Asked to describe the state of USC athletics, Haden says, “The sky is not falling, in spite of what some people read and think and write.”  I get it, there is more to collegiate sports than football, but may I ask…..which sport brings in the most revenue?  Which sport brings in the most publicity?  Which sport increases freshman enrollment?  la-sp-pat-haden-usc-20130122-001

Luckily for our Trojan fan sake, Haden acknowledges receiving a steady stream of negative letters, emails and Twitter messages. He says his car was recently keyed off campus — “I don’t know if that is a result of this,” he says, laughing.  Yes, laugh it up Haden. Luckily for you, USC is located in South Central, one of safest hoods in Los Angeles.  Didn’t the University just instill a 9pm curfew?  You crazy college kids you.

1086668159_8911cff19e

Despite the influx of hate, Haden has continuously said he supports Kiffin 100% and has no reason why Kiffin shouldn’t be the football coach.  UGH, do we have to do the math for you Haden?!

In September, an innocent reporter was banned from practice after he accurately reported that a player underwent surgery. GOOD GOD say it ain’t so!! Kiffin also abruptly bolted from a post-practice news conference when asked about a player returning from injury. Beyond random.  Why don’t you just make SC look like a bunch of ADHD Space Cadets who can’t handle the media.  Sadly, this was only the beginning.

In October, a USC quarterback was instructed by coaches to wear another player’s jersey number on special teams in the first half against Colorado, and then played later in the game in his usual number. Brilliant strategy… thanks Napoleon!  In November, the Pac-12 Conference fined USC $25,000 after it was discovered that a student manager intentionally deflated USC footballs before a game against Oregon. Now why would he do that?  The season ended with the embarrassing Sun Bowl loss to Georgia Tech, punctuated by news stories last week that portrayed a heated post game locker-room scene.  I dunno if it was soo much heated towards each other or heated towards a certain khaki wearing individual who hides behind play cards.

 

b5Rht_medium

Yes, USC is still hurtin’ for certain from the harsh (harshest!) NCAA sanctions thanks to running back Reggie Bush.  But come on, you can’t even compare this season to last season, 2011 where the Trojans went 10-2.  Maybe the penalties are sinking in with loss of scholarships and recruits but DUDE, resulting in theses immature and stupid antics leaving the team so frustrated that they decide to West Side Story it out in the Locker Room?  Unacceptable.

“We need to earn our fans’ respect back,” Haden says, “and the only way you can do that is win.”  I sure hope so buddy.  Is that all Kiffin needs to do to keep his job?  “I’m not answering that question,” Haden says, adding, “Sometimes when you’re calling plays . . . you don’t sense maybe the whole team. So I think he has to really sense the whole team and feel and have the relationship with the whole team….”  First of all, grammar!  Second, isn’t that covered in Freshman course PSY 101, building any sort of relationship requires a connection with trust and honesty?  Kiffin is so distant from his team he can’t even call GOOD plays, are you kidding me?  Didn’t you watch the Notre Game?   Yes Lane, let’s run the ball on 3rd down because it worked out so well the other 432 times you did it!   ” Secondly, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff, Lane,’ Haden blabs on.  “Don’t worry about injury reporting at practice and whatever other things we kind of trip ourselves up on — jersey numbers and things.”  Hmmmmmm so what you mean is don’t learn from your mistakes?  That’s great parenting right there.  You Kiffin, do NOT get a time out even though you broke some rules….who cares right?  If you are in calling the shots for LA’s most popular football team, the closest thing we have to the NFL, you can get away with anything.  Everybody knows that.  Haden you are starting to border line MORON.

Notre Dame v USC

Lucky for us, somebody is optimistic about next year.  “I’m a paid optimist,” he says, “and I think we’ve got a great opportunity to rebound and have a terrific season next year.”  That’s right, your PAID.  Shit, if I was paid to think like you I would.  But lets put ourselves in Haden’s position.  What if the Trojans DO in fact have a great season, receive a great recruiting class, compete for the Pac-12 Conference title game and have one of their players nominated for the Heisman.  That all sounds fantastic but still will never change the fact that the 2012 season was one of the most depressing and darkest times that any college football program has ever seen.  EVER.  Kudos to Kiffin for making USC football season the laughing-stock of the entire NCAA.  No other team in college football history has been ranked #1 in the preseason, had a Heisman frontrunner and fallen so low to depths of complete shit.

usc-sucks-238x125

Hey, I want to be a paid optimist.  Say Haden, where can I sign up?

Project Runway: Coaches Edition

I know it is a bit difficult to take your attention away from the game, averting your eyes from those “leave little to the imagination” uniforms those chiseled athletes are wearing.  But have you ever noticed what the coaches are wearing?

When it comes to what coaches wear on game day, I always wondered if it was a matter of choice, lifestyle or tradition.  Maybe it is neither.  But it does have to do something with the sport itself, whether the sport is a classy dignified occasion or a mangy get down and dirty game.  It is also to important to consider the types of fans those sports attract and appeal to.

So I roughly picked the 5 coaches that best represent the fashion and style (both homeless nasty and clean chic) of their sport.  Omitting Baseball because the coaches wear the same damn uniforms of the players.  Don’t get me wrong, baseball uniforms can be sexy….just not on an old saggy ass man.  Who knows?  Maybe a coach’s style has a direct reflection on their team, their franchise and their town/city.  Or maybe it doesn’t and I’m just really bored.

Here we go fashionista playas.

 

(oh they just look soo cute matching and all.  Don’t you wish all coaching staffs looked like this?  Naw, mean either…there would be no reason for this post yo)

 

1. Bill Belichick- The New England Patriots

Good GOD what is wrong with this guy’s fashion sense?  Oh wait, he clearly has none. This guy is a hell of a coach bringing New England 3 Super Bowl Championships and 5 NFC Championships.  Belichick is such a good coach he is clearly too distracted to get dressed before game day.  He legit dresses like a BUM.  Straight up BUM with his oversized Patriot’s hoodies.  What is even better is that some of those hoodies have the sleeves cut off.  Is he working out later?  WAIT, better call the cops to arrest those Belichick guns!!  Dude, this is New England, I think it is worth it to buy some sleeves.

What respectable coach of a championship team wears a freakin’ poncho of a sweatshirt to work?  Is he hiding something?  It’s ok Bill, we already know your fat.  At least he is comfortable, right. You would think coming from a championship team, producing a future hall of fame quarterback and representing not just one city but an entire region, a region that founded this country, would maybe want to brush his hair in the morning and put on some sleeves.  Then again….it is football

2.  Mike Krzyzewski-Duke University

If your going to coach a sport watched by millions and go all the way to see the March Madness daylight, hey you gotta dress the part.  Nobody does this better in the NCAA than the iconic Coach K. Even though he is on the sidelines, he looks damn good in those crisp grey suites and plenty of gold accents (cufflinks, belt buckles, rings).  It seriously looks like this dude is straight out of Mad Men.  Douche bag of characters but damn can they dress.  I mean Coach K coached the Olympic team for god sakes…..he should have some class.

Since this is college basketball, and the polished wooden basketball courts are pretty reflective, what the coaches wear might matter a bit more.  On a more serious note, any college coaches hold more responsibility than professional coaches because they are more like parents/mentors than a boss/co-worker.  These college coaches are coaching kids, not adults, and have the power to influence their players’ lives and help them grow into respectable athletes. Coach K coaches one of the most respectable college teams in the country, a southern bell of a school, Durham, North Carolina.  The South is always known to stay classy.

3. Lane Kiffin- USC

Love my trojans but this coach’s signature “visor-white wearing style” is just plain boring, kind of like the personality.  If your going to go for a signature style, make it good.  Don’t make it white, especially in a sport that is known to get down and dirty in the mud.  Why would you want to worry about ruining your whites when you have a football game to coach?  Oh wait, he isn’t really coaching is he…at least not this season. You would think as a SoCal coach he would just be sporting Hawaiian shirts and board shorts….that would be ridiculously awesome.

Kiffin’s signature visor is a just another mere hiding tactic, kinda of like his giant laminated play card. Although he is trying really hard to dress like a classic football coach with his neatly pressed khakis and white collared shirts like Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops, but come on, you gotta get rid of that play card man.  You can dress the part but it don’t mean you are the part.  And those white beanies….yikes.  Recipe waiting for a disastrous season..  Word of advice, you can’t get away with wearing white if you muddy up your season with those stains of defeat.

4. Jim Tressel

God I hate Ohio State but damn do I love Tressel’s sweater vests.  Even though he isn’t the coach anymore, his red/grey sweater vests, white colored shirts + khaki pants are just a damn good combo.  Such a clean and classic look for the annoying college football town of Toledo, Ohio.  Although Tressel’s career ended in shame and ultimate termination from the Buckeye family, he is still one of the best dressed college football coaches.    And hey, it wasn’t such a terrible coach anyway, leading Ohio State to 6 Big Ten Conference Final Championship games and winning coach of year 12 times.  Maybe he is soo well dressed he forgot to manage his players, the same players who managed to trade in some one of a kind Buckeye paraphernalia for some narley tattoos.   It’s always something isn’t it!

Why is he a well dressed coach you ask?  Perhaps it is the sport…?  Maybe, maybe not.  I really think it has to do with the University and it’s culture.  Ohio State is a prestigious school known for its winning sports.  Not to say USC isn’t, but Southern California isn’t Ohio.  I don’t know what there is to do in Toledo, Ohio….but it’s not LA, I bet you people live and breathe college sports more so than any dedicated Trojan fan in Los Angeles.  At least Trojan fans go the movies or hit the beach… not so much in Ohio.

5.Paulo Sousa- Videoton FC (Hungary)

What is it about Portuguese men and style?  Wait.  What is it about European men, soccer and style? Seriously, it has to do with the fact that they are from an entirely different country or maybe that the good ol’ US of A has none when it comes to sports?  Meh, I just think it’s because these are sexy guys with accents coaching a foreign sport.

Paulo is well-known for coaching Swansea City A.F.C. (South Wales), Leicester City F.C. (English) and now coaches in the Hungary League.  What a globetrotter. Needless to say, it seems like it reflects his style. His colored sweaters, dark fitted suites, pea-coats with brightly colored buttons and scarfs, it legit looks like he could strut down a Marc Jacobs runaway show in Milan.  Total GQ yo.  The magazine made them their 37th best dressed man in Britain in 2011.  Obviously, he could just resort to wearing a sweater or wind breaker like some other soccer coaches out there who are standing out there in those cold uncovered fields in sometimes miserable weather, but naw, not Paulo.  Always rocking his dapper attire and giving into his love for Armani, Paulo is the classiest and best dressed soccer coach out there.  You don’t really see that soo much in other sports…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forgive me for not picking a NHL or NBA coach because frankly, they look the same to me.  Plus the coaches in the NHL are always standing behind the bench and players….how in the hell am I supposed to see what they are wearing? But from what I can tell, they all wear the same dark suit and light-colored tie combo.  No one has ever really stood out from the rest or rocked some shiny jewelry.    Not discriminating against the suit and tie ensemble, very classy, but it can get tedious and down right dull.  The only fashionista to come out of the NHL is Barry Melrose, dude looks like a mobster with those black pin stripped suits and slicked back hair.  Love it.  But Barry hasn’t been a coach in a long time, plus he didn’t start dressing like a badass mobster until he became an NHL analyst on ESPN.  Thanks ESPN!

So here is my conclusion when comparing and contrasting these fashion forward and fashion retarded coaches.  One could assume that a highly watched sport would have coaches wanting to look their best.  Yea, not so much. Case and point: Belichick.  The dude has been to how many super bowls?  The Superbowl, one of the most watched television events of the year.  Gimme a break dude.  When it comes down to it, it is the sport and the culture.

NFL is a violent and dirty sport that takes place outside in sometimes not so great weather. Yes sweatshirts, windbreakers and beanies are sometimes a necessity but can be presented in a classy and clean fashion.   You would think New England would produce a classy American Revolutionary coach, but no, you get a dude with cutoffs. All Americans love their professional sports but never really consider the cultural pride behind them. Every sport contains a level of pride, especially representing where your team comes from, but American football (sad to say) is shameless. It really is all about the benjamins in the pros.  Americans only care about the popularity and the winning in professional sports not because it depends on their livelihood (unless they are a professional athlete, coach or owner) but because it’s fun, exciting and just makes life better, even if it costs over $100 bucks for a nosebleed seat.  NFL Fans do care about their team and their players, but they aren’t as genuinely connected as they could be.  How genuinely connected can you get to a money-grubbing conglomerate?

College sports give fans with the same fun just like the pros but have a bit more pageantry, more pride and cultural importance.  No matter if it is football or basketball, college sports is more pure because “in theory” is not about the money.  These are kids playing, not adults.  College athletes have yet to be screwed up by the world.  College coaches are more than just coaches to these athletes, students and fans…. they are family.  These dabber dressed coaches (minus Kiffin) represent more than the sport, they represent an entire family filled with tradition, pride and innocence.  A dingy dressed college coach would be down right disrespectful.  The only reason Kiffin gets away with his boring snuggle white attire is because of the city his team resides in.  Los Angeles is one of the chillest places in the country.  USC does indeed have tradition, but nobody can ever get over the fact that its sunny Southern California…forget that visor man and dismal run of a season, relax bra, just hit the beach.

Soccer takes the project runway cake fasho.  Perhaps because it is a foreign sport and people across the pond have better fashion sense…common decency..? I would assume that since these soccer coaches are closer to the heart of fashion, therefore come into contact with more fashionistas, their fashion sense is taken to new heights.  It was hard to just pick one but apparently Paulo Sousa was the easy choice because he openly talks about his love for fashion.  Even though these coaches are consistently outside standing on the cold grass, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs hundreds of yards away to get their players’ attention, they still look good doing it.  The biggest distinction between these coaches’ fashion sense is the culture.  Soccer isn’t an American sport and never will be.  It was invented in Europe and is the most popular sport in the world, except in America.  There are Americans that love soccer and there is a somewhat popular league bringing David Beckham to the LA Galaxy, but soccer is still not the country’s sport.  Popular American sports are never going to adopt the styles of a foreign sport because USA is filled with too much pride.  Kudos to European soccer coaches and their fashion forward trendy style, making the rest of the coaches of the world look bad, but hey that is the last Armani shoe drops I guess…

It would be nice for American coaches to take a hint and take fashion more seriously, especially when our attention is on them 25% of time.  Don’t let that attention go to waste boys.  Even if you are an amazing coach with outstanding credentials, I think you can still make a little time out of your busy schedules to take a shower, comb your hair and put on a nice outfit not just for you, but for your team, your town, your city, your sport.  Appearances aren’t everything, but sometimes they can make or break a first impression.  When it comes to any team sport and it’s time to go up against your opponent, it’s all about looking intimidating, overpowering and giving off that aggressive attitude that will win the game.  And if by chance one of those players, or even coaches, on the opposing team takes one look at their competition, a dumpy looking coach with sleeves cut off and goofy white beanie, I think that intimidation might be dunzo.

 

 

Shine on you fashionista coaches you!