Buck Buck Quack Quack

Tomorrow is the first ever College Football Playoff Championship.  Are we excited or are WE EXCITED?!

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So what does this game have in store?  In the right corner, we have Urban Meyer and his Ohio State Buckeyes.  You have to admit, the Buckeyes 42-35 win over Alabama had us all in shock.

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I think it is safe to say that Urban Meyer now has Nick Saban by the cojones. Sorry Saban, maybe you need to get rid of your Offensive Coordinator.

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And to the left, we have the Nike-owned Oregon Ducks.  Those gosh darn kids have so many different football uniforms, they could clothe an entire Mexican village.  Heisman winner Marcus Mariotta has had a stellar season, completing nearly 70 percent of his passes, 4,121 passing yards, 731 rushing yards, 55 total touchdowns and three interceptions.  Dayum.

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Who is the better team?  I honestly have no idea.  As a fan of neither team, you always need to root for your team’s conference to win.  So in this instance, go Pac-12.

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Bias aside, I think it will definitely be an interesting nail-biter .  Hell, the Buckeyes beat Alabama, Urban Meyer defeated The Lord of the Rings, Gollumm defeated Sauron.  That is crazy talk.  Well I’m sure Tim Tebow is one happy camper.

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Aside from winners and losers, this isn’t just any championship football game, this is about making college football history.  Granted the trophy is nothing to be proud of nor the location of the game, Dallas, this game is a kick-off of what we hope will be a long Playoff tenure for College Football.  I wish upon a star…..

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Although the Playoff Committee did receive some flack regarding their snub of TCU (sorry horned frogs, we gotta give other Christians a chance), you can’t help but assume that the Committee was going to experience some grief their first time around.  No system is perfect…..::cough BCS cough::.  All we can hope is for the Playoffs to NOT be dominated by the SEC team.

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Even though Ohio State is in not in the SEC, who the hell wants to see Urban Meyer get up there and raise that sad excuse for a trophy?  The guy is a flat-out liar who hates his family.  He blatantly choose his football coaching career ($$ cha-ching $$) over focusing on his family as well as improving his “ailing” health condition.  Some health condition, a condition that took him all the way to the championship game.  Yea, well….we will see how that will work out.

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You gotta be rooting for Oregon.  They have yet to win a National Championship, have a Heisman Trophy winner playing as Quarterback and just look so damn cool on the field.  In every notable game they have ever played, the Oregon Ducks have always worn a different uniform.  Thank you Nike.
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Intimidating?  Not so sure you can be badass in white.  Although they did look pretty sweet when they  looked like Ninjas.

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So let us watch the game tomorrow night in high spirits, not only for the Oregon Ducks but for the College Football Playoffs.  I would like to think that the outcome of this game doesn’t necessarily matter, but it does.  The viewership of this championship game is what is what matters. The number of those viewers who positively promote the Playoffs is what matters.  If nobody watches, it is just a matter of time until the NCAA decides to revert back to the good ol’ BCS.

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I give it five years.

 

 

 

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The MLB Playoffs – The Champagne Genocide

Who doesn’t love watching the traditional champagne shower in the club house after a team clinches a win in September, solidifying their playoff position.  It is nothing but a joy to see grown men sporting snowboarding goggles (i guess they will hit the powder later….) and spray booze on each other, booze usually fit for a group toast honoring the bride and groom on their big day, but who cares?  This is AMERICA……I mean Baseball.

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Damn that seems like a lot of champagne for one team to have fun with….and they aren’t even drinking it.  Wait, they are not even drinking it?! What kind of horrible wasteful ritual is this?!

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This it the time of year champagne bottles are shaking in their bottles because the MLB decides that it is OK to be absolutely frivolous with the fizzy.  What is even more infuriating is that some baseball teams already know their spot in the post season, sometimes even days before the game, and still partake in the slow sticky doom of champagne.

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In theory, a modern team could get bottle service after 1) clinching a wild-card spot; 2) clinching the division title; 3) winning the play-in game; 4) winning the division series; 5) winning the league championship series; 6) winning a World Series.

(I’m no John Nash….but isn’t that a bit too many?)

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That’s six more champagne baths than the Super Bowl winner gets. (The NFL prohibits alcohol-soaked celebrations.) Obviously, alcohol is known to provoke violence, the gateway drug to Aaron Hernandez.  DUH.

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Let’s be honest, the players can’t physically drink all those bottles provided by the MLB, unless they are The Dude, and instead of champagne you have vodka + kalua. I don’t think getting your stomach pumped before the Playoffs is the best idea.

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Is this champagne even the good stuff?  Good God i hope not.  These baseball celebrations are beyond rampant and perhaps need to be replaced with a beverage that wasn’t solely intended to be consumed by French royalty. I would say water, but turns out that is pretty precious too.

How about something American made, a beverage that was initially designed for the poor man – BEER.

Beer can come in a bottle, it can also be shaken up and sprayed profusely all over the place and it can also save lives.

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And beer can be cheap.  God forbid these players actually drink the cheap beer, but just think, all the money spent on bougie bubbly could be donated to organizations that are in need of dire assistance, like the NFL.  They could use all the help they can get.

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College Football > The NFL

I don’t know about you, but I am more excited than a fat kid at the county fair right now….and you know why?

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Two words: College Football…….and maybe beer.

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Better make that three words.

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College Football is upon us! This is the time of year when being crunk before 4 pm is acceptable, when you change your cell phone ring to marching band music, when hanging out in the parking lot is socially acceptable and when getting into heated fights no matter where you are is just plain awesome.

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From the Coliseum to Kyle Field, from the “Big House” to Beaver Stadium, college football fans are thinking more about Saturday’s game than anything at work, that’s for sure.

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It’s the thought that if your team loses one game, their national championship aspirations may be shot to shiz. It’s that late-game interception that leads the dramatic two-minute victory. That’s what we come out in hoards to see these boys give all they got every weekend.

Beyond awesome.

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But then awesomeness is at times derailed by the few sorry people who ask you “Why are you wasting your time watching College? The NFL is way better bro!”  I really hate coming into contact with those people because for one, it is illegal to set their car on fire, two, fantasy football is actually kind of cool and three, they know deep down in their very souls that they are just flat-out wrong.

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So here is my top 15 reasons why College Football is better than the NFL.

1. The Rivalries

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Pro-football rivalries pale in comparison to long-standing college ones.  There’s really no comparison. Not only have they been around longer and generate a more intense atmosphere for the upcoming match-up, they play just once for a solid year of bragging rights. The NFL will play their rival from the same division at least twice in a single season, removing the significance of each win.  What’s the fun in that?

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Love THIS!

2. The Heisman Trophy

Does the NFL have a Heisman Trophy….?

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3. The Marching Bands

College bands are an integral part of the college football experience. They have a way of getting fans pumped up and behind their team like no other. The music is so loud and powerful, you cannot help feeling motivated to get off your seat, clap your hands, and scream your fight song at the top of your lungs. It generates a special feeling and unique atmosphere foreign to pro sports.

Some of these marching bands have even won Grammy awards, been featured on Late Night, in feature films and even have had THE Ron Burgundy lead them to the promise land.

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Just saying……

BTW: Kudos to the band who got banned by the BYU Mormons.  You are an inspiration to all.

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4. A Day to Get Over the Hangover

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Monday is a work day.  That sucks because if you’re an NFL fan and you can’t hold your liquor, you’ve probably gone through life bouncing around between jobs or just completely hating life every Monday morning.  Do not discount the day of reckoning brought upon you by the hangover gods!  College games on Saturday should be your Day of Sloshness and then Sunday your Hangover Day.  If not, you might have to start exercising some self-control, and who really wants to do that?

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5. Brent Musburger

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You can hate Brent all you want but the man at least makes it interesting.  Sure, he makes it interesting by using the same old catch phrases that he’s been using for years, plus in his old age he is getting more and more inappropriate and senile.  Thank you AJ McCarron.

There’s also a Brent Musburger drinking game…?!?!?!! OMG you must see for yourself: http://bit.ly/BQ5Tv. That alone gets him on the list….and Herbie ❤

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6. Roger Goodell doesn’t exist in College Football

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I’m not a big fan of the Hammer.  Seriously.  I don’t understand why 32 grown upindividuals, the owners of each NFL team, can’t come up with real discipline rules and ways of solving issues, especially when it comes to domestic abuse.  “Uhhhh this player who beat the hell out of his wife…..let’s suspend him for only 2 games.  BUT this other fella who tested positive for marijuana….let’s suspend him for an entire year!”  What the hell Roger?  And, then, he’s washing his hands ofthe whole Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy problem and leaving it up to the players and owners to get through.  Whatever, dude.

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7. The Scandals

Yeah, I know, it’s a negative but for many others, it’s gold!  I mean, where else can you get into ridiculous debates about whether or not the exploitation of individuals is based on some cockamamie scheme of providing a college education is okay?  No where else except in college football!  Without Jameis Winston last year, the end of the season sure would have been boring.  Being charged for only 1/2 crimes is pure scandal in the making, when the crime he was actually charged for was straight up foolish. Damn, those crab legs must have been worth it.  And you gotta hand it to Josh Shaw of USC for being a complete moron and lying to God.  Ugh.

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Idiocy is entertainment.  Haven’t you seen Jackass?

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8. Lou Holtz vs Mark May

These two together is just two college football peas in a pod.  Love them 🙂

Every season, you can always count on these two to bring on the heated bickering to ESPN, diverting our attention from the moronic behavior of Lee Corso.  And rightly so.

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9. The Cheerleaders

Sure, most fellas would put this group of folks much higher than number 10 on the list, but come on people, really?  From a purely aesthetic point of view, cheerleaders are cool.  They dance and holler and they’re always happy.  Plus, it’s nice to see somebody dancing and doing flippity dippitiy moves without having to wait every four years for the Summer Olympics.

 

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Plus I would hope their academic scholarship is more than $50/game.  Sorry Raider Girls…..

10. Better Tailgating

You can live anywhere in the United States, well, almost anywhere, and get to a college football game.  No, really.  And…when you get to that college football game, if you wear the right colors there will be somebody, somewhere in the parking lot, willing to give you a bratwurst and ice-cold brewski.

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While both NFL and college venues feature elaborate tailgating traditions, the college atmosphere is a lot more fan-friendly and just flat-out more awesome. Most college fans bring their entire family, adding a nice little Hallmark touch to the party. Let’s face it, there are idiots that abuse alcohol in all walks of life, but at college tailgates, it seems a bit more contained and just downright fun.  Don’t worry, there are bound to be some parental figures there to keep your idiocy in check.

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11. Better Overtime

In college football, both teams are given equal opportunity to score, and the outcome does not hinge on a mere coin toss. While the coin toss does determine which one first goes on offense, the other team still gets a fair shot to score. Each team starts on the defender’s 25 yard-line and on fourth down they can either go for it to obtain a first down or touchdown, or kick a field goal. The other team then gets a turn to do the same. If the other team scored a touchdown or a field goal, your team must do the same or you lose the game.  It can get intense.

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It’s high time the NFL implements a similar method not so contingent on a coin toss.

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12. Each is Game is IMPORTANT

In college football, rarely do we see a team play the same opponent in a single season. In the NFL, a team will play another from the same division twice in one season. While some fans argue it gives them a chance at payback, it confuses bragging rights unless the same team wins both match-ups. USC and UCLA fans and players can brag, with annual certainty, that they beat their rival back in said year. And isn’t that what bragging rights are all about?

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An NFL fan cannot claim the same unless they beat their rival both times in a single season. If they have to share bragging rights in a given season, it takes something away from the win and makes beating your rival meaningless; especially if the loser of the first meeting manages to make it to the playoffs while your team sits at home.

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13. No Trades, No Lockouts, No Changes

Just ask any Cleveland Browns fan how devastating it can be when your team decides to uproot and move to another city. The Michigan Wolverines will always be in Anne Arbor, forever sport blue & yellow, and will never cease to exist. Many fans of certain pro teams over the years did not have that same sense of security. A college fan could never imagine their team disappearing or moving to another location. It would be a nightmarish scenario for any fan of any sport to endure.

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Our lives are filled with such uncertainty at times, the continuity of college football is a refreshing reminder that we DO have something we can always count on.  Sweet.

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14. The Polls and Rankings

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, polls provide college fans with something to brag about and a gauge to compare their team to others. While it remains an imperfect system until we see how “playoffs” will work out this year, it was still better than what the NFL has. Polls give fans something to talk or brag about each week leading up to the next game. They’re also fun to contemplate, in particular if you like stats and numbers.

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15. The Tradition

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College football traditions are the oldest and most elaborate practices in all of sports. There’s the Little Brown Jug awarded to the winner of the annual Michigan verses Minnesota game, the War Eagle entrance for the Auburn Tigers, dotting the “I” in Script Ohio, the Clemson tigers running down the hill, the Twelfth Man at Texas A&M, the Victory bell awarded to the winner of the annual USC vs. FUCLA game and who can forget Notre Dame castrating all the players after Halloween.

Actually, I just made that last one up.  Who says that SHOULDN’T happen though!

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So here we go College Football fans.  It’s our time to shine!

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Adios BCS :)

After an eventful season, College Football is coming to an end.  But the season isn’t the only thing coming to an end.  The wrath of the BCS is finally ending! This is going to be the last time for a lot of things BCS…..Is it possible to even list all the things we will NOT miss about the BCS?

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Well, I can certainly try. And these are my top 6 reasons why I will NOT be missing the BCS.

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6. Do we really need an Abbreviation?

Don’t you just feel stupid when someone asks you what BCS stands for?  I know College football is all about the abbreviations with the names of the Universities and even some players (thanks RGIII).  I get it, we are lazy and need to keep our conversations short and sweet but for some reason I really hate what the BCS stands for – “Bowl Championship Series.”

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So that mean there is a series of championships.  Doesn’t the word championship imply one, one final game where there is only ONE winner.  The final game between the top two college football teams is called “The BCS National Championship.”  First of all, the word champion is used twice in that phrase, making it a redundant phrase that feels like a tongue twister, but really isn’t.  It’s just stupid.

5. Calling All Statisticians…..or Computers…

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Every week when the BCS standings are released Sunday evening, you get a chance to see a number next to each team, a number reflecting the combination of polls and computer selection methods to determine relative team rankings.  Thank you Bill Gates. And who ever really liked Statistics?!  Sports shouldn’t make you think this much.

You WOULD think math always works, but when it comes to the BCS, it’s crap. For some reason, the numbers just don’t add up.  When one team loses and another wins, you assume the winning team moves up in the BCS standings as the losing team falls.  That would be a big fat NO.  The

4. Notre Dame

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This team is always ranked regardless of EVERYTHING.  Doesn’t matter if they have a losing season, it doesn’t matter if their star player lied to the media and it doesn’t matter if everyone else is winning around them, the BCS always finds a way to rank the Fighting Irish.

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Without their precious BCS, what is Notre Dame going to do now?! To be ranked based on actual merit and talent rather than a heavily skewed reputation is going to rock their College Football world.  I don’t know if they will be able to put up a Fight.  This is going to be so sweet 🙂

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3. Non-BCS Bowl Games

Why the hell would we watch NON-BCS Bowl games?  Having losing teams compete in a “Bowl Champion Series” really wouldn’t be champion-like would it now?  Yes, if your team is playing in one of these Non-BCS Bowl Games, of course you are going to watch, but you are forced to come to the realization that your team is a bunch of losers and didn’t make it to the real “Bowl Championship Series.” It’s like the BCS is giving you the finger.  How mean 😦

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2. Bowl Game Names

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These absurd bowl game names have just lowered our intelligence over time.  Here is a list of the latest bowl games:

* Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl

* S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

*National University Holiday Bowl

*Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl

*Heart of Dallas Bowl

Kill me…..

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1. Unfair Rankings

This is the #1 reason why everybody is happy to see the BCS go.  The BCS rankings just never ever seemed fair, leaving teams who had undefeated seasons unfairly treated and overlooked. Yes, there are over 30 teams to watch and consider when discussing college football rankings, which is why the BCS was initially created.  But for the past 15 years, the BCS has just been pissing people off.

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Where in the world is it ok for Les Miles to bitch his way into sharing the National Championship with USC in 2007 based on similar BCS rankings?  A freaking horrible world.

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Although the BCS is being replaced by a possible biased Playoff Committee, it is still good to see it go. Having Playoffs might bring more justice and truth to College Football.  Right Condi?

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Adios BCS and good riddance 😀

NCAA Football: California at Southern California