Go Broncos!

And let them ride off into the sunset as Champs!

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Let’s just pray that they don’t play like they did in front of Homer Simpson’s house today…the-denver-broncos-in-the-simp-o-1

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Haters Gonna Hate

The NBA Finals has finally come down to two teams. The creams of the crop. The picks of the litter. [Insert any “absolute best” cliches here].

The Golden State Warriors are taking on the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Curry vs. James.  Cute Kid Riley vs. Receding Hair Line.

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So who do you think is going all the way?  Well, that should be easy to answer. Just ask yourself this: Who do you want to see raising that golden trophy? Who do you want to send to Disney World?

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Steph Curry, no question!  Lebron already has two championship wins, every endorsement deal known to man and has ESPN in the palm of his hand…why should we give this Space Jam wannabe a chance for his sweat band to be retired in the NBA Hall of Fame?

I know what you are thinking? “Why do you hate Lebron so much?”

You know why? Because haters gonna hate, and I am a true hater of Lebron.

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The guy is a walking “BUY ME” billboard, a man who is so hated he has his own website http://ihatelebronjames.com/.

(Granted the website hasn’t been recently updated. Probably because the hostility and hate just runs so deep that the website owner’s violent typing made his computer internally combust into flames)

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Now that is true hate.

It’s not that I hate Lebron, the man himself, it’s that I hate “the man, the myth, the legend” the media perpetuates and worships. Now that is something you can entirely blame on Lebron. Yes he is only doing his job, a job of god-given talent that anybody would kill for but doesn’t he have any shred of integrity or credibility to just say no to the media, the sponsorships and the attention?

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Someone needs to teach this goon about modesty. Next up, Lebron Tampons: time to get that thick-ass sweat band protection ladies!

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All of the credit and ball-sucking attention Lebron receives from ESPN is just nauseating. There must be some undisclosed contract where he pays ESPN for his unbearably large amount of air time and mentions.  This just in at ESPN – “Let’s see what Lebron thinks of the Masters! According to his Twitter, he tweets: “Yo Tiger Woods, where you at?”

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I don’t think any athlete can compare to his obscene level of overexposure.  Well, maybe Peyton Manning.

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With the millions of dollars he makes daily (yes DAILY), doesn’t he have enough money to feed Russia? You would think that but no, he probably doesn’t. I mean that lavish lifestyle doesn’t pay for itself.

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And now that Lebron is back with the Cavaliers, an unnecessary spectacle of itself, ESPN will stop at nothing to see him holding that golden basketball trophy for a third time, a shining beacon of hope that the hero can return to his hometown and achieve the possible.  YES the possible, this is Lebron we are talking about.

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The real culprit here is ESPN.  But who the hell is going to hate ESPN, the almighty giver of worldwide sports and beloved top 10!

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That being said. Go Warriors, the rightful winners who have no players sucking on ESPN’s proverbial teet. Steph Curry has yet to become a tainted spokesperson of soul-less commerce, so there is still time for his pure talent to take him all the way, all the way to get that golden trophy.

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Plus, his daughter is just too cute to pass up.

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Sad Day in PeytonLand

It was truly sad seeing Peyton Manning go down the embarrassing way he did.  The Seahawks really showed no mercy.

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I read somewhere that the Super Bowl was a plot twist because the entire game was a Snickers commercial showing that Peyton Manning is not himself when he’s hungry.

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Sad 😦  Well if that was the case, wouldn’t he have been replaced by Robin Williams or Joe Pesci?  I think Peyton’s hungry form would be Animal.

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But I mean, how can you be THAT sad when Peyton’s expression looks like an adorable puppy……

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CUTE!!

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BIRD V.S. BEAST.  This Super Bowl is a tough one to call for many different reasons.  Both teams bring so much to the table because both teams have something to prove with a newcomer coach wanting to solidify his position in the NFL and a veteran quarterback in search of his second Super Bowl ring.  Both teams are quite awesome with both their states legalizing the green (Yea, I went there) while simultaneously representing the West.

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Remember the West side of the country ESPN? Are you guys even alive over there under all that snow?!  Damn Super Bowl, had to be in NYC.  Always the East trying to outshine the West…”SHINE” being the operative word….  Sorry, got off track….

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But who will win?  Who knows.  The bigger question is:  Who are you going to root for?

We should all be in for a treat on Sunday, as Denver and Seattle ended the season ranked No. 1 and 2 in the advanced NFL stats efficiency model by virtue of each team’s dominance on one side of the ball. For the Broncos, that side is obviously offense, led by quarterback Peyton Manning. And for the Seahawks, it is defense, led by their smothering secondary.  Yikes, sorry Russell, I guess you aren’t leading the pack 😦  Not if Richard Sherman has anything to say about it….

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The Seahawks are coached by the improbable Pete Carroll.  As a die-hard USC fan, you can’t help but love this guy despite his sudden, but necessary, departure from NCAA trouble.  Every other day since the playoffs, ESPN has published an article about Pete Carroll, outlining his awesomeness as a human being, an awesomeness that is so palpable that every player in the NFL wants to play for him.  Carroll was voted the most popular coach in the NFL, according to a survey conducted by ESPN.com. Carroll received over 22 percent of the votes cast by over 320 players asked “Which head coach would you most like to play for?”

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Carroll’s creation of a laid back, player-first atmosphere has been a hallmark of his time at both Seattle and USC, and that’s a major reason why players and fans LOVE him. Carroll doesn’t fit the coaching stereotype of an inflexible hot head douche — sorry Jim Harbaugh….and take off those hideous khakis, for the love of GOD — and that makes him someone NFL players want to work under.

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But then again, there is Peyton.  Peyton Manning set his own NFL record with 55 touchdown passes this year — that’s three-and-a-half TD passes every single game. To put it in another way: He had roughly 14 TD passes every four games. The New York Jets had 13 TD passes all season. DUDE.  At 37, coming off a career-ending neck injury, Manning had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history.

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Peyton Manning is a Monster Beast on the field. More importantly, in some ways, Manning finally seems comfortable with the football geek that he is. To the media’s amusement, he has been loose and funny in interviews this whole postseason. After the Broncos beat the Chargers, somebody asked if retirement was weighing on his mind, and he replied: “What’s weighing on my mind is how soon I can get a Bud Light in my mouth.” And isn’t that what is really weighing in all our heads?

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Two very likable guys, one Super Bowl.  I really don’t know!  For one, you want to see Petey win a Super Bowl just to stick it to big butt khaki wearing Jim Harbaugh, a feat he couldn’t conquer last year.  Buwhahaha, who’s the man now?!

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Second, Peyton needs to get another ring to stick it to his younger brother.  Despite Eli Manning’s 2 Super Bowl wins and 2 Super Bowl MVP awards, Peyton is by far the better quarterback, a quarterback whose name is already being etched in gold at the Football Hall of Fame.  With another Super Bowl win, Eli can take a seat.

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All you can root for in this situation is the commercials, hoping they will be worth the 1 million dollars.  I would say the half time show, but seriously who will be watching that?  Sorry Bruno, but I think I will take the Puppy Bowl instead.

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Shermanology

NFL: St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks

All of Sports Media is a buzz about Richard Sherman and his less than mature antics after winning the NFC championship game against the 49ers.  In case you have been living under a rock, Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman blocked a game winning pass intended for 49er’s receiver Michael Crabtree in the end zone in last Sunday’s NFC Championship game.  Immediately after the play, Sherman smacked Crabtree on his bootie and exchanged some words….basically showboating and rubbing it in his face.  Crabtree proceeded to shove him in the face.

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First off, let me just say it was beyond sweet seeing Jim Harbaugh truly angry throughout the entire game.  What truly would have been amazing is if Sherman directed his showboating towards his old Stanford coach and gave him a big hug after the play……”Thanks Coach! Couldn’t have done it without your tight khaki pants!” Ahhh, can you just imagine the tantrum??

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Anyways, back to business.  Richard Sherman is either the biggest jerk alive or the smartest man alive.  Were his antics necessary?  In short, yes, yes they were because nobody can stop talking about him, which I think is EXACTLY what he wanted.

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Richard Sherman is getting more press than ever.  His own football jersey is now among the top 10 best-selling jerseys in the league, according to sales rankings provided to ESPN.com from the league official store NFLSHOP.com.  Sherman has broken into the top 10 for the first time.  Sherman has also witnessed his Twitter account balloon by more than 270,000 followers in the first 24 hours. In fact, he has singularly been talked about as much as both the Seahawks and 49ers combined.

GEE, I wonder WHY?

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Interestingly enough, Sherman on Wednesday retracted his post-game comments, comments that are less than classy, “I’m the best Cornerback in the game,” “I was making sure everyone knew Crabtree was a mediocre receiver, ” and then my favorite, “Crabtree. Don’t you open your mouth about the best or I’m gonna shut it for you real quick.”  Sounds a bit threatening bro.

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Let’s start calling this for what it is:  SHERMANOLOGY = Being a Dick = Popularity = $$

It’s true!  Sherman is an ivy-league educated athlete with a GPA of 4.0 straight out of Compton, CA, I think we can safely say he isn’t THAT dumb.  Well, let’s not include Jonathan Martin in this conversation,  that guy is just a big fat whiner.

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Sherman knew exactly what he was going to do, what to say and who to say it to this season if the Seahawks were going to take it to the Superbowl.  With all the press coverage, interviews, jersey sales and twitter popularity, Sherman has put on the new face of “what is trending,” for weeks to come.  I don’t care what anybody else says out there, I think this Shermonolgy strategy is genius, and possibly a way of NFL life.

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The guy is not only a great player who is brilliantly self-marketing his name, he is also remorseful.  He has already come out and apologized for his comments, “It is what it is. Things like that happen and you deal with the adversity. I come from a place where it’s all adversity (STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON), so what’s a little more or people telling you what you can’t do. I really was surprised. If I had known it was going to blow up like that I would have approached it differently, just in terms of the way it took away from my teammates. That’s the thing I feel regretful about.”

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Oh snap.  This guy doesn’t even need a publicist, he knows what to say, how to say it and when to say it, leaving us sports fans only wanting more. My only concern would be if they lose the Superbowl and Sherman directs his bad sportsmanship and frustration towards Peyton Manning. Now who would have the balls to do that to Peyton Manning?

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Peyton Manning is too beloved in the NFL to be subject to classless harassment, so if Sherman learned anything from his Shermanology, he knows better than to disrespect Peyton.  Otherwise, the city of Omaha will be on his ass like shit on Velcro.

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