Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Excited For College Football 2015

College Football 2015 is fast approaching and I can hardly contain my excitement.  Almost as excited as Tim Tebow’s first day as an Alter Boy.

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So I assembled my top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming 2015 season.

10. Alabama vs. Tennessee

Even though Tennessee will be meeting Alabama in Tuscaloosa, it will still be entertaining to see Lane Kiffin squirm on the sidelines. After all, Knoxville did name their sewage system after Kiffin’s unexpected departure. Only a lucky few college football coaches have ever received such an honor.

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9. Charlie Strong Wrangling The Longhorns?

Is Charlie Strong in the hot seat? As college football fans are well aware, Texas football is not only a way of life, it IS life. They expect championships and expect no less.  Charlie Strong is entering his second year as their head coach. His 2nd!  Honestly, if Texas wins one more game than they did last year, that wouldn’t matter.  But if Texas faces another dismal season in 2015 and fires Strong entering the 2016 season….geeze, get a life Texas.

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8. Beat the Irish!

Notre Dame is ranked #10 in the preseason polls.  It really grinds me gears that no matter how shitty they were the season before, Notre Dame always seems to creep their way into the top 25 preseason poles.  WTF?! Yea well, Rudy won’t save you this season.

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7. Wow! Oregon’s Uniforms!

You gotta hand it to them, every season the Oregon Ducks give our eyes a nice little gift: tight neon-colored spandex boasting feathers of flight. Flight to Football. Nice.

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6. Urban Meyer’s Non-Existent Health Problem

Let’s see if he makes it out another year. Sorry Meyer family, the Buckeyes are far more important than you.  Careful there Urban, your anger may only exacerbate that heart condition of yours….

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5. Everett “Cheater” Golson Taking Over For Crab Legs

Should be entertaining to see a Notre Dame drop out attempt to form his own legacy following Heisman Trophy-Winning Crab Stealing Misogynist Winston. It is quite the legacy, I must say.  However, Golson is one of the smallest QBs in the game.  Apparently, Golson could be the shortest Florida State QB in nearly 30 years.  He has no chance.

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Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

4. Introducing Ann Arbor’s Own: Constipation Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see Constipation Face take the Big House by storm. Not so much with his football team, but with his douche-bag childish antics and ridiculous facial expressions, I’m sure we are in for some pure laughter. Those high rising tight khakis alone are up for a College Football comeback.

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And my personal favorite….

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3. Another Year, Another Year Older Can Only Mean One Thing: Retirement For Lee Corso!

Homeboy needs to pack his bags and take up golf. Someone just has to beat College Game Day out of him.  Or maybe just have one bad fall….. (I’m going to hell)

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2. Playoffs Take 2

2nd time can be a charm.

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1. FIGHT ON

Oh yeah 🙂

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Damn you ESPN

Why is ESPN covering the upcoming USC vs. Oregon game soo damn much?  I must have seen three segments already about the Trojans preparing to take on the ridiculously good Ducks at the Coliseum.  Seriously, why?

The USC Trojans are only averaging about 15 penalties a game and the no.2 Ducks are averaging 53.3 points a game.  You do the math.   USC’s penchant for drawing penalties stems from the Trojans’ having too much “pride” and trying to protect each other, receiver Robert Woods said.  Too much pride?  Dude, how much pride can you have when you aren’t winning games?

Last season, Barkley passed for four touchdowns in a 38-35 victory over Oregon, a win that ended the Ducks’ 21-game winning streak at Autzen Stadium.  The Trojans led by 24 points late in the third quarter and held on for a victory that was not assured until Oregon missed a last-second field-goal attempt.  Hey, whether we like it or not kickers make the difference!  But USC was a much better team last year.  FAR Better.

SC’s defense hasn’t been good since the three iron linebackers, Clay Matthews, Brian Cushing and Rey Maualuga.  Head coach Lane Kiffin brilliantly decided to appoint his father Monte Kiffin as the team’s Defensive Coordinator.  Good or bad move?  Well just look at the defense.  The defense gives up at least 20 points a game.  The Ducks offense with multipurpose star D’Anthony Thomas and running back Kenjon Barner are returning players for the offense that has average 540 yards a game.  Oohhhhh some more easy math!

All USC can do is try to play and put behind it’s 39-36 loss to Arizona last week that ended their hopes for making a run to the BCS National Title.  “We can’t play a game like that this week,” quarterback Matt Barkley said. “Oregon is too good.”  Forgive the obvious DUH.  Come on Matt, you and your boys been playing mediocre at best.  Obviously you need to step up your game to even be seen with these Quack Quack men.  

It just sucks balls that ESPN is broadcasting this game like it’s the Macy’s Day Thanksgiving Parade.  Seriously if you just type in USC vs Oregon under videos, you get at least 6 videos discussing the upcoming game.  Good God.  All of this media attention and buzz is going to do nothing but psych the Trojans out.  As a loyal Trojan fan, I know this is just going to blow up in the pretty little faces.  This just goes to show you that the media, no matter how farfetched or boring a story may be, will blow it out of proportion to get ratings and create a buzz.  But is this game really creating a buzz?  All it is doing is creating negative attention for the Trojans, highlighting their flaws and shortcomings, while placing Oregon on the BCS pedestal.  Doesn’t ESPN have a massive crunch on the SEC?  Isn’t there the SEC showdown of the century happening this weekend, Alabama vs LSU, you know?  The BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP game repeat, Alabama still holding the no.1 crown and LSU fairly slipping behind riding the no. 5 spot.  What gives?  Both those teams are collectively ranked higher than Oregon and USC.  Furthermore, we all know it is probably going to be a closer and perhaps a bit more exciting game.  WTF ESPN?

I know what you are thinking!  As a Trojan fan you should wish no ill for your team or at least be one of those obnoxiously devoted fans who blindly believe that their team will defy the odds and win the game no matter what the circumstances.  Sigh.  Is there a problem with just being realistic?

I am going to watch the game and obviously root for the boys in Cardinal and Gold.  But with one team averaging above 50 points a game (and this isn’t a basketball score !) and the other team averaging more than 50 penalties this season, it is a little hard to believe that this will be a competitive matchup.  Forgive me Trojan Gods!  Maybe they will prove me wrong.  Maybe ESPN’s incessant coverage will in fact pay off.

Nevertheless, FIGHT ON.