Buck Buck Quack Quack

Tomorrow is the first ever College Football Playoff Championship.  Are we excited or are WE EXCITED?!

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So what does this game have in store?  In the right corner, we have Urban Meyer and his Ohio State Buckeyes.  You have to admit, the Buckeyes 42-35 win over Alabama had us all in shock.

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I think it is safe to say that Urban Meyer now has Nick Saban by the cojones. Sorry Saban, maybe you need to get rid of your Offensive Coordinator.

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And to the left, we have the Nike-owned Oregon Ducks.  Those gosh darn kids have so many different football uniforms, they could clothe an entire Mexican village.  Heisman winner Marcus Mariotta has had a stellar season, completing nearly 70 percent of his passes, 4,121 passing yards, 731 rushing yards, 55 total touchdowns and three interceptions.  Dayum.

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Who is the better team?  I honestly have no idea.  As a fan of neither team, you always need to root for your team’s conference to win.  So in this instance, go Pac-12.

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Bias aside, I think it will definitely be an interesting nail-biter .  Hell, the Buckeyes beat Alabama, Urban Meyer defeated The Lord of the Rings, Gollumm defeated Sauron.  That is crazy talk.  Well I’m sure Tim Tebow is one happy camper.

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Aside from winners and losers, this isn’t just any championship football game, this is about making college football history.  Granted the trophy is nothing to be proud of nor the location of the game, Dallas, this game is a kick-off of what we hope will be a long Playoff tenure for College Football.  I wish upon a star…..

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Although the Playoff Committee did receive some flack regarding their snub of TCU (sorry horned frogs, we gotta give other Christians a chance), you can’t help but assume that the Committee was going to experience some grief their first time around.  No system is perfect…..::cough BCS cough::.  All we can hope is for the Playoffs to NOT be dominated by the SEC team.

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Even though Ohio State is in not in the SEC, who the hell wants to see Urban Meyer get up there and raise that sad excuse for a trophy?  The guy is a flat-out liar who hates his family.  He blatantly choose his football coaching career ($$ cha-ching $$) over focusing on his family as well as improving his “ailing” health condition.  Some health condition, a condition that took him all the way to the championship game.  Yea, well….we will see how that will work out.

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You gotta be rooting for Oregon.  They have yet to win a National Championship, have a Heisman Trophy winner playing as Quarterback and just look so damn cool on the field.  In every notable game they have ever played, the Oregon Ducks have always worn a different uniform.  Thank you Nike.
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Intimidating?  Not so sure you can be badass in white.  Although they did look pretty sweet when they  looked like Ninjas.

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So let us watch the game tomorrow night in high spirits, not only for the Oregon Ducks but for the College Football Playoffs.  I would like to think that the outcome of this game doesn’t necessarily matter, but it does.  The viewership of this championship game is what is what matters. The number of those viewers who positively promote the Playoffs is what matters.  If nobody watches, it is just a matter of time until the NCAA decides to revert back to the good ol’ BCS.

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I give it five years.

 

 

 

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Thank you Oregon

Who would have thought that the Oregon Ducks consistent revamping of their uniforms would make everybody else look bad?

It seems like the Ducks change their uniforms so often, they could wear a different one for every game.  Hey, they are the second best team in the country according to both the AP and USA Today Poll.  Maybe if a team starts sporting a new sleek look they will start winning a few games and climb to the top of the polls.  Which is why other teams are starting to catch on to this “trend.”  Who doesn’t want to sport a new look, even if it is just for one game?

However, every other college football team that has come forth and decided to do the same, in hopes to create a more intimidating yet commercial “endorsement” friendly uniform, have yet to succeed in styling a new good look. The culprits: South Carolina Gamecocks and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

These aesthetic changes are good in theory, but these two teams have just gone off the deep end.  For the big meet this Saturday against the ridiculously overrated LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge, South Carolina had Under Armour design their new “Battle” uniforms, fully equipped with gray camo under shirts and pants.  Who would ever think to compare football to war, that is just crazy talk?!  Under Armour claims that these uniforms were inspired by a Battleship.  A Battleship…….?!  Which one?  The Game?  The Movie? They must have just seen that Rhianna movie too many times.

Why do the Gamecocks feel like they need to use their uniforms as a military tribute?  Especially a butt ugly military tribute.  America, Fuck YA! But hey, it could intimidate the hell out of Les Miles, making him and his team the Marty McFly “Chickens” of College Football, running scared and going back to the future.

Now onto the Irish.  The Notre Dame uniforms aren’t really the issue, it’s the helmet.  These smarty pants Irishmen decided to split their helmet basically into two, one side purely gold (resembling their famous golden DOME) and the other side dark blue with a white depiction of the fighting Irish leprechaun.  One question:  WHY!?!?!  Just do one or the other, not BOTH.  A college football team shouldn’t be this indecisive.  Aren’t you called the Fighting Irish?  ShooOOOooot why didn’t anybody fight over this dumb idea?  They used to look so classic and clean, purely golden, and now they are reduced to looking like something out of Peewee’s Playhouse.  The spilt is not even centered?!  What genius geometry whiz thought of that?  I bet you Brian Kelly thought it would be ingenious to put on two different patterns on the football helmets to confuse the other team..look one side our little fighting mascot, how cute….. but then SHABAMMMMMM, the other side blinds you with their shiny golden heads.  You become so disoriented that you can’t defend those fighting Irish as they run past you, scoring countless touchdowns. pssssh…..They wish.  Yea right, they are just butt ugly.  Opponents be straight up laughing at your dumb looking fat heads.  Just wait for the Stanford game.

No one can do it better than Oregon and they know it.  Oregon’s football reputation has far exceeding expectations, leading the Pac-12 conference a third year in a row with those badass Darth Vadar looking helmets, matching uniforms with”O” gloves and winged shoulders.  Damn, they look good.