Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Excited For College Football 2015

College Football 2015 is fast approaching and I can hardly contain my excitement.  Almost as excited as Tim Tebow’s first day as an Alter Boy.

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So I assembled my top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming 2015 season.

10. Alabama vs. Tennessee

Even though Tennessee will be meeting Alabama in Tuscaloosa, it will still be entertaining to see Lane Kiffin squirm on the sidelines. After all, Knoxville did name their sewage system after Kiffin’s unexpected departure. Only a lucky few college football coaches have ever received such an honor.

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9. Charlie Strong Wrangling The Longhorns?

Is Charlie Strong in the hot seat? As college football fans are well aware, Texas football is not only a way of life, it IS life. They expect championships and expect no less.  Charlie Strong is entering his second year as their head coach. His 2nd!  Honestly, if Texas wins one more game than they did last year, that wouldn’t matter.  But if Texas faces another dismal season in 2015 and fires Strong entering the 2016 season….geeze, get a life Texas.

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8. Beat the Irish!

Notre Dame is ranked #10 in the preseason polls.  It really grinds me gears that no matter how shitty they were the season before, Notre Dame always seems to creep their way into the top 25 preseason poles.  WTF?! Yea well, Rudy won’t save you this season.

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7. Wow! Oregon’s Uniforms!

You gotta hand it to them, every season the Oregon Ducks give our eyes a nice little gift: tight neon-colored spandex boasting feathers of flight. Flight to Football. Nice.

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6. Urban Meyer’s Non-Existent Health Problem

Let’s see if he makes it out another year. Sorry Meyer family, the Buckeyes are far more important than you.  Careful there Urban, your anger may only exacerbate that heart condition of yours….

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5. Everett “Cheater” Golson Taking Over For Crab Legs

Should be entertaining to see a Notre Dame drop out attempt to form his own legacy following Heisman Trophy-Winning Crab Stealing Misogynist Winston. It is quite the legacy, I must say.  However, Golson is one of the smallest QBs in the game.  Apparently, Golson could be the shortest Florida State QB in nearly 30 years.  He has no chance.

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Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

4. Introducing Ann Arbor’s Own: Constipation Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see Constipation Face take the Big House by storm. Not so much with his football team, but with his douche-bag childish antics and ridiculous facial expressions, I’m sure we are in for some pure laughter. Those high rising tight khakis alone are up for a College Football comeback.

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And my personal favorite….

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3. Another Year, Another Year Older Can Only Mean One Thing: Retirement For Lee Corso!

Homeboy needs to pack his bags and take up golf. Someone just has to beat College Game Day out of him.  Or maybe just have one bad fall….. (I’m going to hell)

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2. Playoffs Take 2

2nd time can be a charm.

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1. FIGHT ON

Oh yeah 🙂

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College Football > The NFL

I don’t know about you, but I am more excited than a fat kid at the county fair right now….and you know why?

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Two words: College Football…….and maybe beer.

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Better make that three words.

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College Football is upon us! This is the time of year when being crunk before 4 pm is acceptable, when you change your cell phone ring to marching band music, when hanging out in the parking lot is socially acceptable and when getting into heated fights no matter where you are is just plain awesome.

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From the Coliseum to Kyle Field, from the “Big House” to Beaver Stadium, college football fans are thinking more about Saturday’s game than anything at work, that’s for sure.

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It’s the thought that if your team loses one game, their national championship aspirations may be shot to shiz. It’s that late-game interception that leads the dramatic two-minute victory. That’s what we come out in hoards to see these boys give all they got every weekend.

Beyond awesome.

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But then awesomeness is at times derailed by the few sorry people who ask you “Why are you wasting your time watching College? The NFL is way better bro!”  I really hate coming into contact with those people because for one, it is illegal to set their car on fire, two, fantasy football is actually kind of cool and three, they know deep down in their very souls that they are just flat-out wrong.

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So here is my top 15 reasons why College Football is better than the NFL.

1. The Rivalries

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Pro-football rivalries pale in comparison to long-standing college ones.  There’s really no comparison. Not only have they been around longer and generate a more intense atmosphere for the upcoming match-up, they play just once for a solid year of bragging rights. The NFL will play their rival from the same division at least twice in a single season, removing the significance of each win.  What’s the fun in that?

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Love THIS!

2. The Heisman Trophy

Does the NFL have a Heisman Trophy….?

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3. The Marching Bands

College bands are an integral part of the college football experience. They have a way of getting fans pumped up and behind their team like no other. The music is so loud and powerful, you cannot help feeling motivated to get off your seat, clap your hands, and scream your fight song at the top of your lungs. It generates a special feeling and unique atmosphere foreign to pro sports.

Some of these marching bands have even won Grammy awards, been featured on Late Night, in feature films and even have had THE Ron Burgundy lead them to the promise land.

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Just saying……

BTW: Kudos to the band who got banned by the BYU Mormons.  You are an inspiration to all.

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4. A Day to Get Over the Hangover

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Monday is a work day.  That sucks because if you’re an NFL fan and you can’t hold your liquor, you’ve probably gone through life bouncing around between jobs or just completely hating life every Monday morning.  Do not discount the day of reckoning brought upon you by the hangover gods!  College games on Saturday should be your Day of Sloshness and then Sunday your Hangover Day.  If not, you might have to start exercising some self-control, and who really wants to do that?

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5. Brent Musburger

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You can hate Brent all you want but the man at least makes it interesting.  Sure, he makes it interesting by using the same old catch phrases that he’s been using for years, plus in his old age he is getting more and more inappropriate and senile.  Thank you AJ McCarron.

There’s also a Brent Musburger drinking game…?!?!?!! OMG you must see for yourself: http://bit.ly/BQ5Tv. That alone gets him on the list….and Herbie ❤

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6. Roger Goodell doesn’t exist in College Football

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I’m not a big fan of the Hammer.  Seriously.  I don’t understand why 32 grown upindividuals, the owners of each NFL team, can’t come up with real discipline rules and ways of solving issues, especially when it comes to domestic abuse.  “Uhhhh this player who beat the hell out of his wife…..let’s suspend him for only 2 games.  BUT this other fella who tested positive for marijuana….let’s suspend him for an entire year!”  What the hell Roger?  And, then, he’s washing his hands ofthe whole Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy problem and leaving it up to the players and owners to get through.  Whatever, dude.

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7. The Scandals

Yeah, I know, it’s a negative but for many others, it’s gold!  I mean, where else can you get into ridiculous debates about whether or not the exploitation of individuals is based on some cockamamie scheme of providing a college education is okay?  No where else except in college football!  Without Jameis Winston last year, the end of the season sure would have been boring.  Being charged for only 1/2 crimes is pure scandal in the making, when the crime he was actually charged for was straight up foolish. Damn, those crab legs must have been worth it.  And you gotta hand it to Josh Shaw of USC for being a complete moron and lying to God.  Ugh.

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Idiocy is entertainment.  Haven’t you seen Jackass?

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8. Lou Holtz vs Mark May

These two together is just two college football peas in a pod.  Love them 🙂

Every season, you can always count on these two to bring on the heated bickering to ESPN, diverting our attention from the moronic behavior of Lee Corso.  And rightly so.

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9. The Cheerleaders

Sure, most fellas would put this group of folks much higher than number 10 on the list, but come on people, really?  From a purely aesthetic point of view, cheerleaders are cool.  They dance and holler and they’re always happy.  Plus, it’s nice to see somebody dancing and doing flippity dippitiy moves without having to wait every four years for the Summer Olympics.

 

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Plus I would hope their academic scholarship is more than $50/game.  Sorry Raider Girls…..

10. Better Tailgating

You can live anywhere in the United States, well, almost anywhere, and get to a college football game.  No, really.  And…when you get to that college football game, if you wear the right colors there will be somebody, somewhere in the parking lot, willing to give you a bratwurst and ice-cold brewski.

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While both NFL and college venues feature elaborate tailgating traditions, the college atmosphere is a lot more fan-friendly and just flat-out more awesome. Most college fans bring their entire family, adding a nice little Hallmark touch to the party. Let’s face it, there are idiots that abuse alcohol in all walks of life, but at college tailgates, it seems a bit more contained and just downright fun.  Don’t worry, there are bound to be some parental figures there to keep your idiocy in check.

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11. Better Overtime

In college football, both teams are given equal opportunity to score, and the outcome does not hinge on a mere coin toss. While the coin toss does determine which one first goes on offense, the other team still gets a fair shot to score. Each team starts on the defender’s 25 yard-line and on fourth down they can either go for it to obtain a first down or touchdown, or kick a field goal. The other team then gets a turn to do the same. If the other team scored a touchdown or a field goal, your team must do the same or you lose the game.  It can get intense.

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It’s high time the NFL implements a similar method not so contingent on a coin toss.

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12. Each is Game is IMPORTANT

In college football, rarely do we see a team play the same opponent in a single season. In the NFL, a team will play another from the same division twice in one season. While some fans argue it gives them a chance at payback, it confuses bragging rights unless the same team wins both match-ups. USC and UCLA fans and players can brag, with annual certainty, that they beat their rival back in said year. And isn’t that what bragging rights are all about?

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An NFL fan cannot claim the same unless they beat their rival both times in a single season. If they have to share bragging rights in a given season, it takes something away from the win and makes beating your rival meaningless; especially if the loser of the first meeting manages to make it to the playoffs while your team sits at home.

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13. No Trades, No Lockouts, No Changes

Just ask any Cleveland Browns fan how devastating it can be when your team decides to uproot and move to another city. The Michigan Wolverines will always be in Anne Arbor, forever sport blue & yellow, and will never cease to exist. Many fans of certain pro teams over the years did not have that same sense of security. A college fan could never imagine their team disappearing or moving to another location. It would be a nightmarish scenario for any fan of any sport to endure.

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Our lives are filled with such uncertainty at times, the continuity of college football is a refreshing reminder that we DO have something we can always count on.  Sweet.

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14. The Polls and Rankings

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, polls provide college fans with something to brag about and a gauge to compare their team to others. While it remains an imperfect system until we see how “playoffs” will work out this year, it was still better than what the NFL has. Polls give fans something to talk or brag about each week leading up to the next game. They’re also fun to contemplate, in particular if you like stats and numbers.

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15. The Tradition

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College football traditions are the oldest and most elaborate practices in all of sports. There’s the Little Brown Jug awarded to the winner of the annual Michigan verses Minnesota game, the War Eagle entrance for the Auburn Tigers, dotting the “I” in Script Ohio, the Clemson tigers running down the hill, the Twelfth Man at Texas A&M, the Victory bell awarded to the winner of the annual USC vs. FUCLA game and who can forget Notre Dame castrating all the players after Halloween.

Actually, I just made that last one up.  Who says that SHOULDN’T happen though!

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So here we go College Football fans.  It’s our time to shine!

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Adios BCS :)

After an eventful season, College Football is coming to an end.  But the season isn’t the only thing coming to an end.  The wrath of the BCS is finally ending! This is going to be the last time for a lot of things BCS…..Is it possible to even list all the things we will NOT miss about the BCS?

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Well, I can certainly try. And these are my top 6 reasons why I will NOT be missing the BCS.

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6. Do we really need an Abbreviation?

Don’t you just feel stupid when someone asks you what BCS stands for?  I know College football is all about the abbreviations with the names of the Universities and even some players (thanks RGIII).  I get it, we are lazy and need to keep our conversations short and sweet but for some reason I really hate what the BCS stands for – “Bowl Championship Series.”

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So that mean there is a series of championships.  Doesn’t the word championship imply one, one final game where there is only ONE winner.  The final game between the top two college football teams is called “The BCS National Championship.”  First of all, the word champion is used twice in that phrase, making it a redundant phrase that feels like a tongue twister, but really isn’t.  It’s just stupid.

5. Calling All Statisticians…..or Computers…

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Every week when the BCS standings are released Sunday evening, you get a chance to see a number next to each team, a number reflecting the combination of polls and computer selection methods to determine relative team rankings.  Thank you Bill Gates. And who ever really liked Statistics?!  Sports shouldn’t make you think this much.

You WOULD think math always works, but when it comes to the BCS, it’s crap. For some reason, the numbers just don’t add up.  When one team loses and another wins, you assume the winning team moves up in the BCS standings as the losing team falls.  That would be a big fat NO.  The

4. Notre Dame

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This team is always ranked regardless of EVERYTHING.  Doesn’t matter if they have a losing season, it doesn’t matter if their star player lied to the media and it doesn’t matter if everyone else is winning around them, the BCS always finds a way to rank the Fighting Irish.

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Without their precious BCS, what is Notre Dame going to do now?! To be ranked based on actual merit and talent rather than a heavily skewed reputation is going to rock their College Football world.  I don’t know if they will be able to put up a Fight.  This is going to be so sweet 🙂

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3. Non-BCS Bowl Games

Why the hell would we watch NON-BCS Bowl games?  Having losing teams compete in a “Bowl Champion Series” really wouldn’t be champion-like would it now?  Yes, if your team is playing in one of these Non-BCS Bowl Games, of course you are going to watch, but you are forced to come to the realization that your team is a bunch of losers and didn’t make it to the real “Bowl Championship Series.” It’s like the BCS is giving you the finger.  How mean 😦

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2. Bowl Game Names

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These absurd bowl game names have just lowered our intelligence over time.  Here is a list of the latest bowl games:

* Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl

* S.D. County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

*National University Holiday Bowl

*Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl

*Heart of Dallas Bowl

Kill me…..

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1. Unfair Rankings

This is the #1 reason why everybody is happy to see the BCS go.  The BCS rankings just never ever seemed fair, leaving teams who had undefeated seasons unfairly treated and overlooked. Yes, there are over 30 teams to watch and consider when discussing college football rankings, which is why the BCS was initially created.  But for the past 15 years, the BCS has just been pissing people off.

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Where in the world is it ok for Les Miles to bitch his way into sharing the National Championship with USC in 2007 based on similar BCS rankings?  A freaking horrible world.

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Although the BCS is being replaced by a possible biased Playoff Committee, it is still good to see it go. Having Playoffs might bring more justice and truth to College Football.  Right Condi?

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Adios BCS and good riddance 😀

NCAA Football: California at Southern California

The $$ Irish

One of the most celebrated rivalries in college football took place last Saturday evening in good old South Bend, IN: Notre Dame vs. USC.

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I luckily have had the chance to attend this decorated event every other year and see all what the Fighting Irish have to offer.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been to South Bend before and have loved every minute of it: the fantasy like campus set in the lush forest, the crisp fall October weather, the old brick buildings, the one of kind religious monuments sprinkled all over campus…the list can go on because Notre Dame Campus is that awesome.

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However, this trip around, I noticed some gaping downfalls of attending a football game at Notre Dame.  As a USC fan, granted I was wearing an embarrassing Trojan football helmet I stole at a frat party, I would either receive a few accolades or a few insults from football fans alike, I may not be the most reliable source….

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But what the hell,  this is my sports blog.  Here are 6 points that need to be said about those Irish at Notre Dame.

1. The Book Store

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I have been to Notre Dame at least 5 times before but for god sakes does their Book Store need to be so damn big?  In the past I was a child, had no reference to any other university student store out there.  Now as a graduate of college and graduate school,  I have seen my fair share of student stores.

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Notre Dame’s just takes it to entirely new level.  3 levels to be exact.  The size of the student store alone looks like an apartment complex.  The square footage alone can fit a baseball field.  I mean, how much college paraphernalia does one school need?  Apparently, a shit load: $8.3 billion endowment.

One would think their money would be put to more practical use.  But wait, this is Notre Dame we are talking about.  They have more money than they know what to do with.  And that comes to my next point.

2.  The Campus

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Holy Bejingo.  This campus is HUGE, almost the size of UCLA, ya know, just without the hills and steps….and sunshine.  I asked a fellow alum how many total students are on campus, undergrads and graduates…..or just looked it up on Wikipedia.  11,733 students on a campus that is 1,250 acres.  Now let us compare this to a University that is known to have one of the largest student bodies: The University of Wisconsin, 38,255 students on a campus that is 936 acres.   How about University of California, Berkeley: 35,899 students on a campus that is 1,232 acres.

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Now does that statistically make sense?  Hell no.

I get it, South Bend, IN isn’t the most lucrative place and the area has plenty of land to go around.  Even Farmer John doesn’t want to buy land there.  And you know the campus is just going to get bigger and bigger, with their student body numbers remaining exactly the same.  Yea, the students really need all that space, how do you think they get their creative juices flowing?  And what about that Art School huh?

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3. The Band

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One of the best parts about visiting another school for a football game is seeing their band perform.  Although nobody can be as nearly as good as the Spirit of Troy, Notre Dame does have one of the best fight songs.  So as a visiting college football fan, you can’t help but feel a little giddy when the band is about the play on the steps of a building in the middle of the Quad.

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But this time around was completely different.  Seeing how the band Chicago went to Notre Dame and I am sure donated millions of dollars to the school, the band decided to dedicate their entire play time to Chicago songs.  And not just sheet music, we are talking American Idol singing performances with little to no band participation.

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What the hell is this?!  I don’t care if Chicago donated millions and millions of dollars, Notre Dame already has billions of dollars, that doesn’t make it acceptable for fans traveling to South Bend to come watch a college football game be forced to watch amateur Chicago hour.  And South Bend ain’t an easy place to get to.

Is it so much to ask for a college marching band to play its own fight song?  I guess not when Chicago and a big check are in town 😛

4. The Stadium

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Gotta love those old classic stadiums built in the 1930’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I love an old stadium that has character, has history and tradition.  Those are really hard to come by now a days. But Notre Dame really?  After the 1997 renovation, expanding the seating from 50,097 to 80,795, you would think this new and improved stadium would be the cats pajamas.

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Have you seen the seats?  Notre Dame seating is composed of long wooden benches, wooden benches that weren’t included in the renovation, OR, were included in the renovation but modeled after the original 1930’s seats.  These seats are about 15 inches wide with small white numbers designated each seat.  Do you know how fat Americans are now a days?  A butt load bigger than we were in the 1930’s that is for sure.  BUTT being the operative word.  And we are only going to get bigger and fatter.  Just look at the country’s child obesity rate…….thanks Ronald McDonald.

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Nobody is ever sitting in their actual seats because horizontally challenged people can’t seem to stay in their own goddamn seat.  Especially in cold weather, when people are bundled up like the inflated Michelin man, you tend to take up a bit more square footage.

You would think with all the cha-ching, they would renovate the seats to house the ever-growing fatness of America.

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5. Night Game

Why in god’s name would you have a night game in late October in South Bend, IN?!  Speaking from a Sunny Californian perspective, that is hella cold bra.  Honestly with the seating and the weather (RAIN), why would Notre Dame ever think that it would be ok to have a night game.

Oh yes, of course.  Thank you NBC.  Notre Dame’s lucrative TV deal with NBC forces them to comply with television ratings and broadcasting of other football games.  SIGH.  Let the fans who are at the game suffer while the fans at home enjoy an ice-cold beer and warm hot dog by the roaring fire-place.

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6. The Fans

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This particular game was a little special for me because I was never told by a Notre Dame fan at a football game to “Be Quite.” Are you kidding?  This isn’t the opera lady, we are at a FREAKING FOOTBALL GAME.  I swear if I was the level of drunk I wish I was at considering the cold weather, this old lady and her husband would never show their faces in Los Angeles.

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While watching one of the WORST football games I have ever seen (mind you I just say football, because I have seen High School football games better than this one), I couldn’t help but notice the surrounding fans.  What the hell else was I going to do, watch a football game?

One always has to remind oneself of this little tidbit when at a Notre Dame Football Game: half of the fans didn’t even go to Notre Dame.  One half are old fogey alumni who are all on medicare telling fans to be quiet as the other half are townies from South Bend who have nothing else better to do than attend a Notre Dame football game.  Hell, some of these fans LIVE and BREATHE Notre Dame, DOMERS we like call them.

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These fans are tasteless drunkards who are some of the most foul-smelling people you can be around.  You can immediately tell the difference between alumni and townies, townies are the ones who can’t shut the f*ck up and are relentless in their dim-witted name calling and obnoxious swearing.   Yelling for “Mark Sanchez to come in for Cody Kessler!”……come on man you can’t you come up with something a bit more creative than that?  You walk around campus don’t you?

YES, I am going to pull the “I am better than you” card because “I have an education and have seen life outside Hickville.”

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These townies don’t really have much of a life outside of Notre Dame, so you gotta give them the benefit of the doubt on game days.  But no, they are terrible fans and considering Notre Dame’s prestigious reputation and vast bank account, one would assume that these fans wouldn’t even be allowed on the church steps.

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A majority of this list all comes down to the one thing that makes the college sports world go ’round: $$

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Money exudes out like sweat at Notre Dame, from the campus, the buildings, the band and the culture.  With such a great prestigious reputation, you would hope the University wasn’t as so immersed into such a Scrooge McDuck persona.

(BTW: Wasn’t RUDY Ruettiger charged in a stock scheme in 2011?)

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BUT, that is entirely hypocritical.  All Universities wish they could be like Notre Dame, they all wish they had the same donors with deep pockets, dedicated alumni, smarty pants students and collegiate tradition that surpasses most.

Despite money being the utmost importance to Universities, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is ok to push their financial gain into the lime light.  Students and Alumni have managed to find other finer things in life, like serving beer at the stadium, treating visiting fans with respect, expanding the student body, making sure fans are comfortable enough to sit down in their own seats and playing the goddamn FIGHT SONG.

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As a Trojan fan I will always chant, “BEAT THE IRISH,” but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to enjoy my stay at South Bend next time.  Get it together Notre Dame.

Armstrong vs. Te’o, Cheater vs. MEAT HEAD

What is with athletes these days?  The cheating, the lying, being plain stupid……the list goes on.  We could blame the media because they sure as hell aren’t helping theses blown out of proportion situations.  Case in point: Lance Armstrong and Manti T’eo.  Both have recently come out to the media explaining their not so subtle developing situations of deceit.  And to top it all off, they both went on syndicated talk shows to pour their hearts out, possibly shed a few tears and experience some sort of redemption or confessional release for the public.  Katie Couric……Oprah.    Who interviewed the better athlete?  Who is the better talk show host?  Who the mofo cares?    Well, this sports fan finds it intriguingly idiotic yet enticing.  Come on people, this is the downfall of our species!

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Common Sense seems to be thrown right out the door with these guys.  But hey, they are professional athletes in the spot-light, they are untouchable right?  WRONG.  Liars are liars and should never get away with it.  Boy, did they get away with it.  At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that Manti Te’o’s situation is a bit lighter in guilt than Armstrong’s.  Which is why I think Armstrong went on Oprah, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  In his first public appearance since his confession, of course he is only coming out to the big time tv talk show mogul….who just manages to bring out the cry baby in everyone….well except Barbara Walters.  But that bitch on The View…yea right Armstrong be coming out on the View being subjected to 5 women’s ridicule and sass.  Hell No.  Let him hang on to the only ball he has left ladies.

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Armstrong’s Oprah interview was anything but moving.  Oprah asked all the right questions but his answers were bleak and a bit banal.  The only ounce of emotion that was felt was Oprah’s question about his LIVEStrong company, millions and millions of invested money down the drain.  He seemed a bit down losing the bling bling, even though he will still be living on easy street the rest of his life.  Which is why I felt nothing during this interview.  The guy flat-out cheated and lied about his situation so I felt no remorse or sympathy for the cyclist.  But I understand the public’s need for confirmation.  We know what he did.  We just want to know WHY he did it and persisted to LIE about it, calling the investigation a “witch hunt.”  More importantly, why did he continue to attack his teammates and journalists who were trying to expose the truth…the truth shall set you free Lance.  It seems like he lied to everybody and to be honest, I think we all deserve an apology, especially his fans……and maybe France.  Send France a gift basket of McDonald French Fries, they will love it.  It would have been awesome on Oprah if he stepped it up and apologized, admit his responsibility for falsely attacking others, and for turning an entire decade of his sport into a worldwide mockery.  This decorated mythical athlete literally put cycling on the map while pissing off one of the USA’s bitchy and whiney allies…it was a win-win situation for America.  I wish there was more discussion of his family.  Gotta give it up to the guy for admitting that throughout this entire controversy, the hardest part was telling his children.  Now THAT I believe.

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What did you want Armstrong to say on Oprah?

 

 

 

Manti Te’o’s story on the other hand is straight up ridiculous and continues to get more ridiculous by the second.  This is truly the most bizarre stories in sports history, simply because of the whole fake girlfriend thing was an essential part of Te’o’s growing legend.  At this point my only question is why Katie Couric?  Katie Couric makes the most random distracting facial expressions while interviewing.  The batting of the eyes, the pursing of the lips, the flip of the hair…..I can’t stand that.  You think Te’o is going to confess his stupidity to twitchy turrets avon lady?  Well, he did.  The Te’o interview was more of a laugher than Armstrong only because his outrageously ludicrous situation.   Katie asked all the right questions, with her (in)voluntary facial expressions, but I still couldn’t take it seriously.  I would have taken a Te’o press conference more seriously….plus his family there.  Oh no.  Come on Te’o your a big boy, going to get drafted to the NFL soon….come on man, giving your future team mates more reason to haze ur mormon ass, you  are already going to get eaten alive once you hit the locker room.  DUDE

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There are endless questions for Te’o, more intriguing and head scratching questions that we may perhaps never answer.  Such as: If he wasn’t involved in the hoax, how does he explain a report that he met her after a game at Stanford? What about those trips his father said she took to Hawaii? At what point did Te’o suspect Lennay Kekua might not actually exist? When did he know for certain? Why didn’t he ever try to visit with her, or even see her face via Skype? Why did he keep the hoax alive when he knew it to be false? Why did he allow Notre Dame and his family to keep the story alive?  He never met this bitch and claimed she was the ‘love of his life.’  UGH.  The real questions I would want to ask this Meat Head is about his integrity….about his decorated fame….does he think he deserves it?  With this story in mind, do you think the media blew it out of proportion?  Did you enjoy the ride?  Do you think you deserved to be nominated for the Heisman despite the fact that you aren’t the most talented LB college football has seen?  Do you feel like your story cheated the public and the sports world? Now THAT would have been an awesome interview.

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We love to hear confessionals.  We are soo entertained by lies and drama that I think we sometimes forget that people’s lives are on the line, on the chopping block fasho.  The only reason I found Te’os interview more entertaining is because of his story.  Armstrong’s story is less interesting and just straight up selfish.  He could have stopped taking PEDs at any time.  He swindled many investors, lost millions of dollars and lied to his devoted fans, thus forever damaging American cycling.  Hope he is happy.  Te’o is still a kid in the eyes of many people, which is why many want to sympathize and feel for the Meat Head.  Is his sheltered lifestyle and religion to blame for his gullibility?  Who knows but I know Oprah would have gotten down to business with the Meat Head. Te’o is the one who should be on Oprah for some counseling and a group hug. Imagine the ratings coup when the tough linebacker with the trusting face confesses his vulnerabilities in a teary prime-time special. Plus that tacky banner in the background in the Katie studio…..seriously?  We know Te’o is speaking because he is on the show Katie.  I guess Te’o’s DUMB is wearing off.

Oprah for the win.

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The Lying Irish…..or Gay

NCAA Football: Notre Dame vs Navy

I am soo late in the game with my posts lately, my apologies!  But damn, do I have to write about this College Football National Championship, it is just too good to pass up.  But what is even WAAAAYYy too good to pass up is this turn of recent events for the Irish’s star and most decorated player of the season, Linebacker Manti Te’o, and his IMAGINARY girlfriend.

News broke today that Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend story was a complete LIE and was an Internet hoax.  To quote Notre Dame’s Athletic Director, calling the situation a ‘sophisticated hoax’……yea, clearly this guy has never been on a dating website let alone the Internet.  There is NOTHING sophisticated about making a fake profile and talking to people as another person.  I just have one word for this hoax….DUMB.

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I don’t know if you watched the Notre Dame Press Conference aired this evening on ESPN’s Sports Center, but Notre Dame’s Athletic Director, Jack Swarbick, spoke to the press about this ‘tragic’ situation, obviously labeling Te’o as the victim and defending his honest and strong character.  Can we just come right out and say that meeting someone on the Internet, talking on the phone/web and NEVER meeting the real person in REAL life……is DUMB.  Manti Te’o is DUMB.  Straight up MEAT HEAD.

Even Swarbick should have some knowledge of internet dating, hell during the press conference he referred to MTV’s show Catfish, a documentary style television show that follows these sucker people who fall for their supposed ‘soul mates’ or ‘loves of their lives’  they meet on the Internet…..but WAIT…these people aren’t telling the truth?!  They aren’t the people they say they are on the Internet?!?! GET outta town!  That just sounds ridiculous.  And sorry to give Catfish a bad rap, but all these people on the show are either desperate, experienced severe trauma, molestation, weigh over 300 pounds……clearly they all have issues and aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box…..this Internet hoax ain’t rocket science people.

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Then again….there are two sides to every story. Manti Te’o could have had previously knowledge that this was a hoax.  If you read some of the articles already published detailing the timeline of this Internet girlfriend, it does seem sketchy…..and doesn’t really add up.  Athletic Director Jack Swarbick failed to answer some of the questions asked by the press, telling the press to ask Te’o……because he is the only one who can answer those personal questions…..even though Swarbick talked to Te’o extensively after he came clean to the University.  Interesting…….

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Another interesting point…..Te’o and his family have previously made references to Te’o meeting his girlfriend in person. In October, for example, Te’o described her to ESPN as the most beautiful person he had ever met and his father told the South Bend Tribune in October that the girlfriend had traveled to Hawaii “every once in a while.”  DuuUUUuuudddde?  This shit ain’t falling into place.

20130116_mjm_sc5_011-457c77d75d6c211dc23762dc41bc4ec0Jack Swarbick’s press conference was forthright and a bit dramatic considering the “tragic” and “cruel” intentions targeted towards Te’o, but this situation isn’t going to come full circle till Te’o comes out himself and explains this bizarre situation.  And that is going to be a while, a long while.  Te’o is going to lay low for a while, up until the NFL combine before the draft in April.  Is his draft status going to diminish…? Who the hell knows.  It will only decline if it is revealed that he was in fact a part of the hoax and merely used the girlfriend sob story to gain publicity for not only himself but for Notre Dame  University as well.  I blame Rudy, he made it damn near impossible for anyone to live up to his glory story.  Te’o came close but now it is all gone.

The most farfetched, and perhaps most HIGHlarious, scenario is that Manti Te’o is trying to hide his sexual orientation.  Te’o is GAY!!?!?!  I’m sorry but LO-freakin-L.  This idea that he is gay, made up a girlfriend to hide his homosexuality as well as protect himself from the prejudice of male homophobia in this manly physical recreation we call ‘sports,’ just doesn’t seem to resonate.  It would make for a more sad and tragic story if you ask me, making him less of a MEAT HEAD and more a desperate athlete struggling to fit in.  Ahhh, just thinking about that possible assumption makes me sad.  SEEE, now that would be the story that would SAVE him.

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In the beginning of this college football season, I hated Te’o’s story.  Sob story milked to death by the media and him just enjoying the ride.  To be fair, he is a solid player but not an amazing player.  Heisman worthy?  HELL NO.  He shouldn’t have even been considered.  But why was he?  Because of his story, because of his tragedy, because of his loving character, because of his strength to overcome adversity and lead his team to the National Championship since the 80’s.  Puke in my mouth.  Thank you ESPN.  Yea, what gives people?

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The scam does more than just shatter a college football fairy tale. It also leaves a black mark on sports journalism, as many news outlets ran stories about the girlfriend’s passing without verifying her death. Wait, isn’t that important?  There was no published obituary for the girlfriend and no California driver’s license issued to anyone with that name (she supposedly graduated from Stanford). Ugh, Te’o you should have stopped it when you had the chance…seriously…you should have just have protected your privacy and remain mute about the ‘tragic’ subject.  Would such a tragic subject leave in a depression not wanting to talk to anyone, see the light of day?  The more and more you watch his October interview on ESPN below, the more and more you think how tragic is this story? The guy is talking about it flawlessly like he wasn’t even close to his girlfriend.  OH WAIT, they NEVER MET.  Ugh his MEAT HEADEDness just makes you feel stupid thinking about it.  This is why it starts to seem like Te’o was milking the story himself, propelling him into the public eye and making him a household name.  Well, he sure is now.

I don’t know about you but I’m mad stoked to find out the truth about MEATHEAD…..I mean Manti.

BTW: Good GOD was that an amazing BCS Football Championship.  The drama, the entertainment, the crying, the touchdowns.  I absolutely loved seeing the Irish crash, burn and die.  Boy did Notre Dame need Rudy or what?  Not to just win the game, but hell, to liven up their spirits, to give them the false hope that they are competitive and can beat the big boys from Alabama.  Psssshhh….yea right.  But hey, blame Te’o.  The game was after he found out that his girlfriend wasn’t real.  Did this heart-wrenching news negatively affect his game?  Who cares, Te’o made like 2 tackles the entire game, they lost, it’s awesome.  MEATHEAD be OVERRATED son.

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Thank you Oregon

Who would have thought that the Oregon Ducks consistent revamping of their uniforms would make everybody else look bad?

It seems like the Ducks change their uniforms so often, they could wear a different one for every game.  Hey, they are the second best team in the country according to both the AP and USA Today Poll.  Maybe if a team starts sporting a new sleek look they will start winning a few games and climb to the top of the polls.  Which is why other teams are starting to catch on to this “trend.”  Who doesn’t want to sport a new look, even if it is just for one game?

However, every other college football team that has come forth and decided to do the same, in hopes to create a more intimidating yet commercial “endorsement” friendly uniform, have yet to succeed in styling a new good look. The culprits: South Carolina Gamecocks and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

These aesthetic changes are good in theory, but these two teams have just gone off the deep end.  For the big meet this Saturday against the ridiculously overrated LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge, South Carolina had Under Armour design their new “Battle” uniforms, fully equipped with gray camo under shirts and pants.  Who would ever think to compare football to war, that is just crazy talk?!  Under Armour claims that these uniforms were inspired by a Battleship.  A Battleship…….?!  Which one?  The Game?  The Movie? They must have just seen that Rhianna movie too many times.

Why do the Gamecocks feel like they need to use their uniforms as a military tribute?  Especially a butt ugly military tribute.  America, Fuck YA! But hey, it could intimidate the hell out of Les Miles, making him and his team the Marty McFly “Chickens” of College Football, running scared and going back to the future.

Now onto the Irish.  The Notre Dame uniforms aren’t really the issue, it’s the helmet.  These smarty pants Irishmen decided to split their helmet basically into two, one side purely gold (resembling their famous golden DOME) and the other side dark blue with a white depiction of the fighting Irish leprechaun.  One question:  WHY!?!?!  Just do one or the other, not BOTH.  A college football team shouldn’t be this indecisive.  Aren’t you called the Fighting Irish?  ShooOOOooot why didn’t anybody fight over this dumb idea?  They used to look so classic and clean, purely golden, and now they are reduced to looking like something out of Peewee’s Playhouse.  The spilt is not even centered?!  What genius geometry whiz thought of that?  I bet you Brian Kelly thought it would be ingenious to put on two different patterns on the football helmets to confuse the other team..look one side our little fighting mascot, how cute….. but then SHABAMMMMMM, the other side blinds you with their shiny golden heads.  You become so disoriented that you can’t defend those fighting Irish as they run past you, scoring countless touchdowns. pssssh…..They wish.  Yea right, they are just butt ugly.  Opponents be straight up laughing at your dumb looking fat heads.  Just wait for the Stanford game.

No one can do it better than Oregon and they know it.  Oregon’s football reputation has far exceeding expectations, leading the Pac-12 conference a third year in a row with those badass Darth Vadar looking helmets, matching uniforms with”O” gloves and winged shoulders.  Damn, they look good.