A Dark Sark Day

New Southern California football head coach Steve Sarkisian pauses for a moment during a news conference on Tuesday, Dec. 3, 2013, in Los Angeles. USC hired Sarkisian away from Washington on Monday, bringing back the former Trojans offensive coordinator to his native Los Angeles area and the storied program where he thrived as Pete Carroll's assistant. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

So I was just about to write-up a post about the dismal Sarkisian situation this Monday morning, and as it turns out, he was fired in a matter of hours, right after lunchtime PST to be exact.¬† Didn’t know it could get any worse ūüėõ

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This is definitely one of the darkest times USC football has ever faced. The head football coach has become persona non grata on campus, go figure.  Reggie can now plan his celebrated return, Bush pushing it back to Heritage Hall.

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The issue of Sark being a drunk shouldn’t really come as a surprise to us SC fans, let alone Pat Haden.¬† Apparently the Washington Huskies, his previous coaching job before taking on SC, were well aware of his addiction and some players even took to their Twitter to LOL about the situation.

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Fox Sports even reported several additional incidents that involved Sark and the bottle. Among the reported incidents:

‚ÄĘ One former Huskies player claims he “smelled alcohol” on Sarkisian at team meetings “one or two” times;

‚ÄĘ Another ex-Huskie said that in 2009, Sarkisian sometimes arrived at meetings “smelling like booze” and with his “eyes all red”;

‚ÄĘ Two other former Huskies said Sarkisian and other coaches regularly drank alcohol in their offices;

‚ÄĘ Several receipts obtained by the Times¬†show hefty tabs for alcohol paid for in Sarkisian’s name.

So how was Pat Haden not aware of ANY of this?  How was this guy even hired?

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This unfortunate incident sadly exposes a gaping issue that is bigger than crunk Sarkisian, which could be an even more detrimental to the program.¬† As University Athletic Director, Pat Haden is responsible for managing all athletic programs and hiring those sufficient enough to run said programs.¬† Haden is 0 for 2 with the football program. ¬†He didn’t hire Lane Kiffin, but he did drag that along quite nicely. The white visor-wearing douche was a complete disgrace.¬† Coach O was the only savior that graced the football program’s presence finishing the regular season on a high note and he was an interim! Promptly after the season ended, Haden dismissed him in order to make room for Jose Cuervo.¬† Coach O was so distraught by Haden’s decision that he didn’t even stay to coach the team in the Las Vegas Bowl.

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Now this a fun trip down memory lane, remember when Haden and Sarkisian got in trouble? On September 8, 2014 he and USC football coach Steve Sarkisian were reprimanded by Pac-12 Conference commissioner Larry Scott for attempting “to influence the officiating, and ultimately the outcome of a contest” during the September 6 game with Stanford. Haden was fined $25,000.¬† Yea that was fun…..

Haden’s employee vetting almost reminds me of a certain under-qualified Vice Presidential candidate…….

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Pat Haden must be under some serious fire, putting him in the HOT seat.¬† I mean ridiculously HOT, the HOT that is only found in HELL, HOT.¬† The man has only been Athletic Director for roughly 5 years.¬† I understand that the deistic legacy of Pete Carroll still runs deep within the program and forever will be until the man gets a gold statue on campus, but that doesn’t mean we need to try and desperately hang on to every individual that had some sort of connection to the winning program.¬† I know it may be hard to digest, but USC needs to start fresh and try and establish a new order.

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I know it’s scary to go out and try something new guys, but in the long run you will be respected for it even if you falter for a short while.¬† But then again this is College Football we’re talking about, the one athletic program that is so highly coveted that some universities’ entire endowment is given just to the football program.¬† Clearly our priorities are in line.

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All we can do in the interim is hope that Sarkisian seeks out the proper rehabilitation treatment to help him alleviate his alcohol addiction.  AND for Haden to get a clue

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Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Excited For College Football 2015

College Football 2015 is fast approaching and I can hardly contain my excitement.¬† Almost as excited as Tim Tebow’s first day as an Alter Boy.

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So I assembled my top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming 2015 season.

10. Alabama vs. Tennessee

Even though Tennessee will be meeting Alabama in Tuscaloosa, it will still be entertaining to see Lane Kiffin squirm on the sidelines. After all, Knoxville did name their sewage system after Kiffin’s unexpected departure. Only a lucky few college football coaches have ever received such an honor.

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9. Charlie Strong Wrangling The Longhorns?

Is Charlie Strong in the hot seat? As college football fans are well aware, Texas football is not only a way of life, it IS life. They expect championships and expect no less.¬† Charlie Strong is entering his second year as their head coach. His 2nd!¬† Honestly, if Texas wins one more game than they did last year, that wouldn’t matter.¬† But if Texas faces another dismal season in 2015 and fires Strong entering the 2016 season….geeze, get a life Texas.

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8. Beat the Irish!

Notre Dame is ranked #10 in the preseason polls.¬† It really grinds me gears that no matter how shitty they were the season before, Notre Dame always seems to creep their way into the top 25 preseason poles.¬† WTF?! Yea well, Rudy won’t save you this season.

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7. Wow! Oregon’s Uniforms!

You gotta hand it to them, every season the Oregon Ducks give our eyes a nice little gift: tight neon-colored spandex boasting feathers of flight. Flight to Football. Nice.

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6. Urban Meyer’s Non-Existent Health Problem

Let’s see if he makes it out another year. Sorry Meyer family, the Buckeyes are far more important than you.¬† Careful there Urban, your anger may only exacerbate that heart condition of yours….

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5. Everett “Cheater” Golson Taking Over For Crab Legs

Should be entertaining to see a Notre Dame drop out attempt to form his own legacy following Heisman Trophy-Winning Crab Stealing Misogynist Winston. It is quite the legacy, I must say.  However, Golson is one of the smallest QBs in the game.  Apparently, Golson could be the shortest Florida State QB in nearly 30 years.  He has no chance.

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Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

4. Introducing Ann Arbor’s Own: Constipation Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see Constipation Face take the Big House by storm. Not so much with his football team, but with his douche-bag childish antics and ridiculous facial expressions, I’m sure we are in for some pure laughter. Those high rising tight khakis alone are up for a College Football comeback.

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And my personal favorite….

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3. Another Year, Another Year Older Can Only Mean One Thing: Retirement For Lee Corso!

Homeboy needs to pack his bags and take up golf. Someone just has to beat College Game Day out of him.¬† Or maybe just have one bad fall….. (I’m going to hell)

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2. Playoffs Take 2

2nd time can be a charm.

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1. FIGHT ON

Oh yeah ūüôā

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Christmas Cancelled Early for Stanford

tumblr_la48uhRWjU1qdrrdn The Christmas Trees were defeated by the USC Trojans at the Coliseum Saturday night.  And even though the Trojans gave the dancing Christmas tree a good reason to stop dancing, it was truly amazing.

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What was the most amazing part about it? ¬†Well, I can name a few parts……

1. The Underdogs defeating the No.5 BCS ranked team.

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2. ¬†Andre Heidari’s right foot redeeming himself after ongoing struggle this season.

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3. Coach O calling a Big Balls Pete Play on 4th and 2 from the Stanford 48 with 1:23 left in the 4th quarter.

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4. USC ranked No.23 in BCS standings.

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5. Lane Kiffin is crying himself to sleep somewhere in SoCal. Probably the Valley…..

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6. Amazing to see Jonathan Martin’s “emotional distress” is intact because he was spotted¬†smiling ear to ear on the Stanford sidelines.

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I don’t know whether to puke or get angry at #6. ¬†Why the hell was Jonathan Martin there? ¬†He almost ruined the moment with his little smirks and texting on the field….but then again he didn’t because the Trojans won, giving College Football one of the biggest upsets of the season. ¬†Go away Jonathan Martin, your “emotional distress” ruined Christmas for Stanford.

c3cd30fb-327b-4479-baf8-dd85a78b66c0And as for the Trojan’s Merry Little Christmas…..may their hearts be light ūüôā

Dawn of a new era?

A new day, a new game, a new coach, a new life.

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Interim Head Coach Ed Orgeron of USC debuted his awesome possum leadership skills last week during the Trojan’s 38-31 win against the Arizona Wildcats. ¬†Even USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden, was impressed with the atmosphere in the Trojan’s locker room before the Arizona game: “I’ve never seen anything like it. ¬†It was unbelievable.”

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After the victory over Arizona, Haden said “Coach O was awesome” and cited the energy and joy of the players. ¬†Rather than quietly contemplating the start of the game, music filled the locker room.

“I don’t know what the music was,” Haden said. “It’s not on my iPod¬†‚ÄĒ it was weird music, but they loved it.” ¬†Nice. ¬†Too bad Kiffin’s favorite music is Taylor Swift.

NCAA Football: Southern California at Arizona State

I think we can all agree that the Trojans might have found their future and Lane Kiffin is really really depressed about it. ¬†You could see how depressed he is if you watched him last Saturday at the College Gameday broadcast at Washington University, where Chris Fowler interviewed the poor bastard, asking him about his recent flame out with USC. ¬†With chants of “You Got Fired” resounding behind him, Kiffin insisted that he still loves coaching and described the experience of watching USC defeat Arizona¬†as “like watching someone else raise your kids.” ¬†Yea, kids who don’t love you. ¬†How does that feel Kiffy?

Before concluding his interview with Fowler, Kiffin signaled to athletic directors around the country that he was ready to try again, referencing his “next job” and “young age.”

Puke in my mouth Kiffin. ¬†You probably won’t get hired somewhere until the off-season. Calm down. ¬†With keeping young age in mind, can you answer me this: What have you accomplished? ¬†What positive effect have you had on the world? ¬†Every job you had as a head coach, you were fired or immediately left in shambles, leaving only a Sewage System in your name. Enough about Kiffin, he is dunzo and we shouldn’t waste anymore of our valuable time on the useless douche of a coach.

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Whether Orgeron will remain the head coach remains to be seen.  Despite the win, there was still some gaping problems no one can ignore like a depleting defense that gives up in the second half and an offense still trying to find its footing with a newcomer quarterback.  However, it was still pretty freaking sweet seeing them win, and having fun while doing it.

1381471895000-USP-NCAA-Football-Arizona-at-Southern-California-003Orgeron is bringing the fire and passion back to the game, something Kiffin was sorely lacking.  Even though it seems like the most important thing right now is to win, I think the hope that Orgeron represents is far more important, especially to the players.  The players are the ones who need that hope to drive them to go to practice at 6am, the drive to play for a coach they actually want to play for, the drive they need to WIN.

1528486_sp_usc_utah_state033_LSSo here is to the new coach, here is to a new team, here is to a new era in Trojan Land.  An era without Kiffin.  Can I get an AMEN up in this biatch?!

Thank you.

I call Shenanigans

The NCAA really just needs to die a quick and painful death.

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Honestly with the flip-flopping, improper treatment and down right shady behavior, the NCAA has solidified itself as THE most counterproductive, incompetent, STUPID athletic association of all time.

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Ever since this Johnny Manziel fiasco, bestowing a 30 minute time out as sufficient punishment for the Heisman Trophy Winner, the multi-billion dollar lawsuit brought on by past/present college athletes suing the NCAA for unfair treatment of student-athletes (or is it athlete-students…?), cutting ties with EA Games as well as the persistent douchebaggary of the Association, no one can take the NCAA seriously anymore.

You would think after all this controversy that the NCAA would get their shit together and start acting like a real collegiate authority, but no, their authority is as trustworthy as an alcohol free punch bowl at a frat party.  A JOKE.

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Just like their revisionist history penalty, the NCAA is backtracking. ¬†The NCAA announced Tuesday¬†that it would begin to restore some of the scholarships it took from Penn State in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky child sex-abuse scandal. ¬†¬†Penn State, under Coach¬†Bill O’Brien, will be allowed to increase its scholarship number to 75 in 2014-15, 80 in 2015-16 and begin competing with the maximum 85 in the 2016-17 academic year.

Puke in my mouth, wtf NCAA. ¬†Answer me this, what does revisionist history solve?? ¬†Better yet, let’s ask Doc Brown, he will know what to do.

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As a college football fan, forgive me for calling: Shenanigans!!

I am calling Shenanigans on the NCAA for their fickle executive decisions.  Did I say decisions?  I meant temporary punishments?  Did I say punishments?  I meant a croc of shit.

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Why have we let these ass clowns decide what is ok and what isn’t ok in college sports when they don’t even know what to do themselves? ¬†Why have our leaders backtrack on decisions they have already made? ¬†Doesn’t that merely reflect poor judgement and weak character from our supposed confident leaders? ¬†Seriously, what gives George Bush?

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Their decision to reduce the penalties by giving back the scholarships they initially took away from Penn State University is ridiculous. ¬†Why…WHY!?! ¬†Can we at least be given an explanation as to why these penalties are forgiven and other can not be, like USC.

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USC thought, why not? If Penn State can get away with years child sexual abuse then maybe we can get away with one player’s greed, a greed that lives in every warm-blooded collegiate athlete (cough:: Johnny Football:::). ¬†Hey, can’t blame USC for trying.

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The NCAA required less than a day to rule on USC’s latest appeal to modify the sanctions handed down in the case.

A day after USC Athletic Director Pat Haden met with NCAA officials in Indianapolis to request an easing of scholarship reductions, the NCAA said Friday that there would be no appeal.

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It’s honestly this inconsistency in the NCAA that is beyond frustrating. ¬†Ever since USC was given the harshest punishments ever handed down by the NCAA back in June 2010, there has yet to be an equal punishment. ¬†Penn State came close but DUDE, are we seriously having this argument? Child rape vs. money….. clearly 1 individual’s greedy behavior yet realistic career aspirations is much worse than child sex abuse. ¬†Yes, of course.

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I don’t want to get into the East Coast vs West Coast battle, but clearly this East Coast bias has yet to, perhaps ever, subside in college sports. ¬†Let us save that for another time. ¬†All I ask is for the NCAA to be stern, to be honest and is to too much to ask to be FAIR?!

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With little shiesty actions like these, the NCAA is becoming more and more obsolete and down right idiotic.  My call of Shenanigans is also a call for a Disbandment: disbandment of all the current associates presently at the NCAA.   Because clearly nobody there can tell the difference between what is right and what is wrong.

Doesn’t the NCAA remind of you the big bad woman Principal in Roald Dahl’s Maltida, Mrs. Trunchbull. The relentless educator who just bullies everybody for no reason at all?

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Grabbing kids by the pigtails, throwing them over the fences, making fat kids eat cake and putting children into the chokey. ¬†That’s where USC will remain now and forever……the chokey.

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Realistically college sports needs a police system, needs some higher administration, needs ORDER, so the NCAA can’t just go away. ¬†I can only pray that this multi-billion dollar lawsuit bankrupts those bastards and takes everything from them, leaving them with the only option of closing their doors and allowing each conference to independently regulate themselves. ¬† Lord, don’t fail me now!

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