Shermanology

NFL: St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks

All of Sports Media is a buzz about Richard Sherman and his less than mature antics after winning the NFC championship game against the 49ers.  In case you have been living under a rock, Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman blocked a game winning pass intended for 49er’s receiver Michael Crabtree in the end zone in last Sunday’s NFC Championship game.  Immediately after the play, Sherman smacked Crabtree on his bootie and exchanged some words….basically showboating and rubbing it in his face.  Crabtree proceeded to shove him in the face.

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First off, let me just say it was beyond sweet seeing Jim Harbaugh truly angry throughout the entire game.  What truly would have been amazing is if Sherman directed his showboating towards his old Stanford coach and gave him a big hug after the play……”Thanks Coach! Couldn’t have done it without your tight khaki pants!” Ahhh, can you just imagine the tantrum??

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Anyways, back to business.  Richard Sherman is either the biggest jerk alive or the smartest man alive.  Were his antics necessary?  In short, yes, yes they were because nobody can stop talking about him, which I think is EXACTLY what he wanted.

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Richard Sherman is getting more press than ever.  His own football jersey is now among the top 10 best-selling jerseys in the league, according to sales rankings provided to ESPN.com from the league official store NFLSHOP.com.  Sherman has broken into the top 10 for the first time.  Sherman has also witnessed his Twitter account balloon by more than 270,000 followers in the first 24 hours. In fact, he has singularly been talked about as much as both the Seahawks and 49ers combined.

GEE, I wonder WHY?

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Interestingly enough, Sherman on Wednesday retracted his post-game comments, comments that are less than classy, “I’m the best Cornerback in the game,” “I was making sure everyone knew Crabtree was a mediocre receiver, ” and then my favorite, “Crabtree. Don’t you open your mouth about the best or I’m gonna shut it for you real quick.”  Sounds a bit threatening bro.

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Let’s start calling this for what it is:  SHERMANOLOGY = Being a Dick = Popularity = $$

It’s true!  Sherman is an ivy-league educated athlete with a GPA of 4.0 straight out of Compton, CA, I think we can safely say he isn’t THAT dumb.  Well, let’s not include Jonathan Martin in this conversation,  that guy is just a big fat whiner.

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Sherman knew exactly what he was going to do, what to say and who to say it to this season if the Seahawks were going to take it to the Superbowl.  With all the press coverage, interviews, jersey sales and twitter popularity, Sherman has put on the new face of “what is trending,” for weeks to come.  I don’t care what anybody else says out there, I think this Shermonolgy strategy is genius, and possibly a way of NFL life.

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The guy is not only a great player who is brilliantly self-marketing his name, he is also remorseful.  He has already come out and apologized for his comments, “It is what it is. Things like that happen and you deal with the adversity. I come from a place where it’s all adversity (STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON), so what’s a little more or people telling you what you can’t do. I really was surprised. If I had known it was going to blow up like that I would have approached it differently, just in terms of the way it took away from my teammates. That’s the thing I feel regretful about.”

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Oh snap.  This guy doesn’t even need a publicist, he knows what to say, how to say it and when to say it, leaving us sports fans only wanting more. My only concern would be if they lose the Superbowl and Sherman directs his bad sportsmanship and frustration towards Peyton Manning. Now who would have the balls to do that to Peyton Manning?

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Peyton Manning is too beloved in the NFL to be subject to classless harassment, so if Sherman learned anything from his Shermanology, he knows better than to disrespect Peyton.  Otherwise, the city of Omaha will be on his ass like shit on Velcro.

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New Years Resolutions Sports Fans

(I know I’m a week late but hey, that’s how 2014 goes….)

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Every New Years Eve there is a always a little flutter of chatter among party goers discussing what they wish to accomplish next year.  New Years Resolutions are far too common yet far too annoying.  I want to lose weight, I want to help those in need, I want to be just like Jay Cutler (well, I don’t know about that one)…..blah blah blah.

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How about if we could make resolutions for our favorite athletes?  Especially those who you KNOW are going to make bad ones.  Don’t look now sports fans, but here is your one and only chance to improve the lives of athletes and sports here:

1. Lebron James

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Does this guy really need a new years resolution?  Yes.  Stop being a douche-bag and talking about the Miami Heat like is it YOUR team.  My new years resolution for you is to NOT win the NBA Championship, become a bit more humble, maybe not whore yourself out to every endorsement deal that comes your way and, more importantly, educate yourself fool!

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Despite your lack of a college degree, you have seen the world, met new people and have the advantage to take hold of opportunities others would die for.  How about you enroll in some prestigious university part-time and learn something new….like not being a dumb as rocks douche-bag.

2. Nick Saban

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Oohhhhhh Mr. Saban.  I thought your new years resolution would be to start fresh and establish yourself as the Lord and Savior Football Coach for the University of Texas.  Sadly, no.  Alabama is here to stay.  I think Saban wants to achieve not necessarily the impossible, but to achieve the impressive.  With a new year, comes a new system, a system of College Football Playoffs baby!

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Although the Crimson Tide failed to make it to the BCS National Champion game nor win the Sugar Bowl against Oklahoma, I believe Saban will try to shock the world in 2014 by competing once again for the National Championship spotlight.  Saban will get into the final 4 team playoff whether we like it or not.  You go girl.

3. College Football Playoffs

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Oh man, I can hardly contain myself on this one.  I can only hope the 2014 College Football Playoffs will be nothing short of amazing.

But we all know that it may not be due to the expected controversy the elected Playoff Committee will bring.  This alleged Playoff Committee….who are they?  Why were they selected?  Will the Committee be better than the BCS?  Who the hell knows, but it is worth a try.

4. A-rod

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2014 A-rod just needs to shut up, retire and take it like a man.  Good Lord, he more or less will make it into the Hall of Fame, so why waste this year being a bitch fiddle?

With all the controversy surrounding Arod in 2013, 2014 should be a nice change for him by stepping out of spot light, stop embarrassing himself during interviews, start behaving in court and retiring with style.  The guy has more money than he knows what to do with, so he should put it to good use.

Just commission another artist to paint another portrait of you as another mythological creature…..how about a Minotaur?

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5. Jason Kidd

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Good lord does this guy need a good resolution, but it’s a very simple one: WIN games.

As his first year as head coach of the Brooklyn Nets debut season at the new deluxe Barclay Center, the Brooklyn Nets have sucked, to say the least.  With injured players and lack of motivation amongst star players like Kevin Garnett and the frog Paul Pierce, the Nets have not won as many games as expected.

Well so far soo good.  After vowing to be a new team in 2014, the Nets are undefeated in the new year, riding a four-game winning streak. But more than anything else, the Nets are fighting. They’re now taking a punch and showing resiliency instead of folding.  Is it all thanks to Jason Kidd?  Who knows.  He just needs to win from here on out.

6. Jonathan Martin

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New Year’s Resolution: Quit Football and become a guidance counselor for young football players all over America, teaching them the ways of how to avoid becoming a pussy.

Jonathan Martin made headlines this 2013 football season by reporting to the NFL concerning hazing shenanigans he traumatically underwent during his rookie season with the Miami Dolphins, more specifically placing the blame on one, Richard Incognito.

After reporting the hazing incidents to the NFL, he left the Dolphins and checked into a hospital to treat his “emotional distress.”  A week later he was spotted laughing and smiling and the USC vs. Stanford game at the Coliseum.  So Mr. Martin, 2013 clearly wasn’t your year, you weaseled  your way out the NFL and are sooOOooo distraught you might as well put your traumatic experience to good use.  Counsel kids about hazing, the good and the bad.  Become a sponsor for anti-bullying campaigns.  Just stop the bitching and do SOMETHING….and maybe apologize to Richie….his NFL career is clearly dunzo because of you.

7. Aaron Hernandez

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Just hope he doesn’t become somebody’s bitch. I mean the dude is a football player, so he is already pretty buff and can more or less handle himself, but you never know, it is prison.

Aaron Hernandez was arrested last year in Connecticut for the murder of a former NFL player named Odin Lloyd.  More recenetly, police now suspect Hernandez participated in a 2012 drive-by double murder using a truck loaned to him, according to a warrant released last week, and that those killings led to the murder Lloyd, for which the former Patriots star is now on trial.

Just keeps getting better and better for Hernandez.  Keep your head up bro and make sure to have your family and friends send you lots and lots of cigarettes.

8. Yaisel Puig

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Hit more home runs, sleep with more women, become a permanent United States resident, win the World Series…..and go to Driving School.

Yaisel Puig already has two tickets for reported reckless driving.  Was he crunk?  I don’t think so because the cops more or less made him submit to a DUI test.  The guy just has a need for speed.  So I say in 2014, convert that need for speed in women.  The guy made a 30 million contract over night with his blowout success with the Doyers last year, so just hire a driver and hit up the clubs for some reckless dancing and flirting.  Who the LA ladies what Puig Power is all about.

Just remember to wear a condom,  have fun and get ready for the 2014 baseball season!

9. Russia

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Be more accepting of athletes no matter what their sexual preference may be.  Hey, if the United States can do it, Russia can do it.  Democracy worked right?

President Putin of Russia decided to initiate a boycott on gay Olympic athletes.  As the host country of the Winter Olympics, you would think a world event bringing cultures together would be a bit more tolerant of different people.  Guess NOT.

Maybe when the actual Olympics commence, Russia will come to it’s senses and realize that equality should be had by all, equality that should distinctly and actively be recognized in events watched by the world.  Monkey SEE, Monkey DOO Russia.

10. Brazil

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May the World Cup crown the United States the champions of 2014 games…..I can’t even say that with a straight face…….

Every world cup brings hope for the United States, a hope that we can actually compete with the world in soccer.  Unfortunately, the U.S. did not receive a favorable first round group selection. The Americans wound up with the potentially punishing group they feared and will play Ghana, Portugal and Germany in June as they try to move to the next round.  This couldn’t be any more difficult.  But we Americans are known to thrive as the underdogs…..yea over 200 years ago….

Is it going to happen, are we going to win?!  I have no idea.  Maybe this year will be a first.  I bet you Benjamin Franklin would know what to do….

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11. Tim Tebow

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So I guess Tebow has finally given up on his dreams of playing quarterback in the NFL  because he has become an ESPN analyst for the SEC conference. He debuted his broadcasting talent during the BCS Championship game and didn’t do half bad.

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2014 Tebow is going to accept his future and become such an impressive college football analyst, he will replace Lee Corso on College GameDay, forever leaving our Saturday mornings free of embarrassing antics and pathetic winner predictions.  And give the college mascots back their glory dammit! Glorious 🙂

Feliz Ano Nuevo Everybody!

Christmas Cancelled Early for Stanford

tumblr_la48uhRWjU1qdrrdn The Christmas Trees were defeated by the USC Trojans at the Coliseum Saturday night.  And even though the Trojans gave the dancing Christmas tree a good reason to stop dancing, it was truly amazing.

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What was the most amazing part about it?  Well, I can name a few parts……

1. The Underdogs defeating the No.5 BCS ranked team.

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2.  Andre Heidari’s right foot redeeming himself after ongoing struggle this season.

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3. Coach O calling a Big Balls Pete Play on 4th and 2 from the Stanford 48 with 1:23 left in the 4th quarter.

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4. USC ranked No.23 in BCS standings.

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5. Lane Kiffin is crying himself to sleep somewhere in SoCal. Probably the Valley…..

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6. Amazing to see Jonathan Martin’s “emotional distress” is intact because he was spotted smiling ear to ear on the Stanford sidelines.

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I don’t know whether to puke or get angry at #6.  Why the hell was Jonathan Martin there?  He almost ruined the moment with his little smirks and texting on the field….but then again he didn’t because the Trojans won, giving College Football one of the biggest upsets of the season.  Go away Jonathan Martin, your “emotional distress” ruined Christmas for Stanford.

c3cd30fb-327b-4479-baf8-dd85a78b66c0And as for the Trojan’s Merry Little Christmas…..may their hearts be light 🙂

Welcome the Hell

Ever since the story of Richie Incognito harassing Jonathan Martin on the Miami Dolphins erupted, the news world has gone coo coo for cocoa puffs.  Cocoa Puffs being hazing and harassment in sports.

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I think after reading the transcript of Incognito’s voicemail he left for Martin on his cellphone, we can all agree that harassment is a problem in professional sports and should not be overlooked.  However, this type of hazing and rookie treatment isn’t something new.  It is something that has been around for years and will be around for years to come.

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Jonathan Martin, a young fresh-faced offensive lineman from Stanford University, stepping into the harsh realities of the NFL apparently couldn’t take the abuse from veteran Offensive lineman Incognito.  The guy just checked himself into South Florida hospital after leaving the Dolphins due to emotional distress. WTF. Incognito doesn’t look that scary…Martin looks straight up timid……But before we dive into the rights and wrongs, we have to answer ourselves some questions about this volatile situation…

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Is this abuse really normal in the NFL?  Isn’t this type of abuse considered hazing, a typical type of treatment rookie players receive from veteran players as a right of passage?  Isn’t there an expected level of intensity, rough attitude and tough physicality in the NFL that is connected to this type of violent behavior that projects this bad ass disposition?  Is the problem just violence or masculinity?

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But with all the coverage, is the media’s treatment of this situation fair?  Hasn’t hazing of rookie players been going on since the beginning of the NFL in 1920?  A safe assumption indeed.

Hazing has been put on the forefront ever since Greek Life, Fraternities and Sororities on College Campuses, has been in existence.  Haven’t you ever talked to someone who belongs to a Frat or Sorority?  They can’t tell you what goes on in their rituals and traditions….because it’s a “secret.”  So obviously hazing runs rampant.  But it’s that type of hazing which brings groups together, almost like a Band of Brothers, those who suffer together, stay together.  Frat brothers and Sorority Sisters look back on it as if it was necessary to be accepted in this new Greek institution, and usually look back on it fondly because it created unity and friendships.

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BUT when hazing has racial slurs thrown about…..then it becomes a different story…obviously.

The only reason for this situation’s popular media coverage is because it has yet to be fully exposed.  By being exposed in full effect, blasting the Miami Dolphins for lack of leadership, lack of respect and lack of discipline, the NFL is bound to take a big hit as well.  So what is the NFL going to do?  They should really do nothing.  Leave it ALONE.

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I know players having been coming out of the woodwork defending Martin for exposing Incognito’s harsh treatment and cruelty, but haven’t all of them experienced the same type of bully treatment? Of course that doesn’t make it fair.  But this type of bullying shouldn’t be treated as if it is something new, something out of the ordinary, something taboo.  Then yesterday Miami Dolphin players have come out to defend Incognito, claiming his relationship with Martin was friendly, “acted like brothers.”  “Richie said, ‘Jonathan is like my little brother,'” Dolphins Quarterback Ryan Tannehill said of a past conversation. “I think that’s an accurate depiction. He gave him a hard time. He messed with him. But he was the first one there to have his back in any situation.”

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Hmmmm, interesting.  Perhaps they really felt like brothers? And whose to say?!

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Locker room culture is so compartmentalized, who are we to judge the rights and wrongs of what goes on behind those closed doors?  We aren’t football players.  Who are we to judge what we perhaps may never understand?  We are the ones looking in from the outside, not the ones looking out from the inside.  Let judgement be handled by GOD….or the Terminator…..

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Especially since Dolphin players are coming to the defense of Incognito and Martin admitting his emotional distress, who is the real victim here?  Martin may be the one at fault here for not handling the situation in the best fashion.  Perhaps he should have confronted “his brother” head on and none of this mess would have been blown out of proportion.  Then again there is still the racism issue…….WTF dude, let’s face it, the issue of race will never disappear.

The NFL must tread lightly on this fine line between hazing and traditional ritual.  Yes rookie players must expect to swim in some rough waters but not be slapped with racial slurs or death threats.  Is Martin a pussy?  Who the hell knows.  One thing is clear though, the fool just can’t hang.

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