And let them ride off into the sunset as Champs!
Let’s just pray that they don’t play like they did in front of Homer Simpson’s house today…
And let them ride off into the sunset as Champs!
Let’s just pray that they don’t play like they did in front of Homer Simpson’s house today…
Today is the day it is nationally acceptable to stuff our faces until we explode. And with endless amounts of food comes endless amounts of football. Good football? Who knows. I am just going to judge who has the fatter team. But before that, let us remember the most special Thanksgiving game of them all.
I don’t know about you, but I am more excited than a fat kid at the county fair right now….and you know why?
Two words: College Football…….and maybe beer.
Better make that three words.
College Football is upon us! This is the time of year when being crunk before 4 pm is acceptable, when you change your cell phone ring to marching band music, when hanging out in the parking lot is socially acceptable and when getting into heated fights no matter where you are is just plain awesome.
From the Coliseum to Kyle Field, from the “Big House” to Beaver Stadium, college football fans are thinking more about Saturday’s game than anything at work, that’s for sure.
It’s the thought that if your team loses one game, their national championship aspirations may be shot to shiz. It’s that late-game interception that leads the dramatic two-minute victory. That’s what we come out in hoards to see these boys give all they got every weekend.
But then awesomeness is at times derailed by the few sorry people who ask you “Why are you wasting your time watching College? The NFL is way better bro!” I really hate coming into contact with those people because for one, it is illegal to set their car on fire, two, fantasy football is actually kind of cool and three, they know deep down in their very souls that they are just flat-out wrong.
So here is my top 15 reasons why College Football is better than the NFL.
1. The Rivalries
Pro-football rivalries pale in comparison to long-standing college ones. There’s really no comparison. Not only have they been around longer and generate a more intense atmosphere for the upcoming match-up, they play just once for a solid year of bragging rights. The NFL will play their rival from the same division at least twice in a single season, removing the significance of each win. What’s the fun in that?
2. The Heisman Trophy
Does the NFL have a Heisman Trophy….?
3. The Marching Bands
College bands are an integral part of the college football experience. They have a way of getting fans pumped up and behind their team like no other. The music is so loud and powerful, you cannot help feeling motivated to get off your seat, clap your hands, and scream your fight song at the top of your lungs. It generates a special feeling and unique atmosphere foreign to pro sports.
Some of these marching bands have even won Grammy awards, been featured on Late Night, in feature films and even have had THE Ron Burgundy lead them to the promise land.
BTW: Kudos to the band who got banned by the BYU Mormons. You are an inspiration to all.
4. A Day to Get Over the Hangover
Monday is a work day. That sucks because if you’re an NFL fan and you can’t hold your liquor, you’ve probably gone through life bouncing around between jobs or just completely hating life every Monday morning. Do not discount the day of reckoning brought upon you by the hangover gods! College games on Saturday should be your Day of Sloshness and then Sunday your Hangover Day. If not, you might have to start exercising some self-control, and who really wants to do that?
5. Brent Musburger
You can hate Brent all you want but the man at least makes it interesting. Sure, he makes it interesting by using the same old catch phrases that he’s been using for years, plus in his old age he is getting more and more inappropriate and senile. Thank you AJ McCarron.
There’s also a Brent Musburger drinking game…?!?!?!! OMG you must see for yourself: http://bit.ly/BQ5Tv. That alone gets him on the list….and Herbie ❤
6. Roger Goodell doesn’t exist in College Football
I’m not a big fan of the Hammer. Seriously. I don’t understand why 32 grown upindividuals, the owners of each NFL team, can’t come up with real discipline rules and ways of solving issues, especially when it comes to domestic abuse. “Uhhhh this player who beat the hell out of his wife…..let’s suspend him for only 2 games. BUT this other fella who tested positive for marijuana….let’s suspend him for an entire year!” What the hell Roger? And, then, he’s washing his hands ofthe whole Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy problem and leaving it up to the players and owners to get through. Whatever, dude.
7. The Scandals
Yeah, I know, it’s a negative but for many others, it’s gold! I mean, where else can you get into ridiculous debates about whether or not the exploitation of individuals is based on some cockamamie scheme of providing a college education is okay? No where else except in college football! Without Jameis Winston last year, the end of the season sure would have been boring. Being charged for only 1/2 crimes is pure scandal in the making, when the crime he was actually charged for was straight up foolish. Damn, those crab legs must have been worth it. And you gotta hand it to Josh Shaw of USC for being a complete moron and lying to God. Ugh.
Idiocy is entertainment. Haven’t you seen Jackass?
8. Lou Holtz vs Mark May
These two together is just two college football peas in a pod. Love them 🙂
Every season, you can always count on these two to bring on the heated bickering to ESPN, diverting our attention from the moronic behavior of Lee Corso. And rightly so.
9. The Cheerleaders
Sure, most fellas would put this group of folks much higher than number 10 on the list, but come on people, really? From a purely aesthetic point of view, cheerleaders are cool. They dance and holler and they’re always happy. Plus, it’s nice to see somebody dancing and doing flippity dippitiy moves without having to wait every four years for the Summer Olympics.
Plus I would hope their academic scholarship is more than $50/game. Sorry Raider Girls…..
10. Better Tailgating
You can live anywhere in the United States, well, almost anywhere, and get to a college football game. No, really. And…when you get to that college football game, if you wear the right colors there will be somebody, somewhere in the parking lot, willing to give you a bratwurst and ice-cold brewski.
While both NFL and college venues feature elaborate tailgating traditions, the college atmosphere is a lot more fan-friendly and just flat-out more awesome. Most college fans bring their entire family, adding a nice little Hallmark touch to the party. Let’s face it, there are idiots that abuse alcohol in all walks of life, but at college tailgates, it seems a bit more contained and just downright fun. Don’t worry, there are bound to be some parental figures there to keep your idiocy in check.
11. Better Overtime
In college football, both teams are given equal opportunity to score, and the outcome does not hinge on a mere coin toss. While the coin toss does determine which one first goes on offense, the other team still gets a fair shot to score. Each team starts on the defender’s 25 yard-line and on fourth down they can either go for it to obtain a first down or touchdown, or kick a field goal. The other team then gets a turn to do the same. If the other team scored a touchdown or a field goal, your team must do the same or you lose the game. It can get intense.
It’s high time the NFL implements a similar method not so contingent on a coin toss.
12. Each is Game is IMPORTANT
In college football, rarely do we see a team play the same opponent in a single season. In the NFL, a team will play another from the same division twice in one season. While some fans argue it gives them a chance at payback, it confuses bragging rights unless the same team wins both match-ups. USC and UCLA fans and players can brag, with annual certainty, that they beat their rival back in said year. And isn’t that what bragging rights are all about?
An NFL fan cannot claim the same unless they beat their rival both times in a single season. If they have to share bragging rights in a given season, it takes something away from the win and makes beating your rival meaningless; especially if the loser of the first meeting manages to make it to the playoffs while your team sits at home.
13. No Trades, No Lockouts, No Changes
Just ask any Cleveland Browns fan how devastating it can be when your team decides to uproot and move to another city. The Michigan Wolverines will always be in Anne Arbor, forever sport blue & yellow, and will never cease to exist. Many fans of certain pro teams over the years did not have that same sense of security. A college fan could never imagine their team disappearing or moving to another location. It would be a nightmarish scenario for any fan of any sport to endure.
Our lives are filled with such uncertainty at times, the continuity of college football is a refreshing reminder that we DO have something we can always count on. Sweet.
14. The Polls and Rankings
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, polls provide college fans with something to brag about and a gauge to compare their team to others. While it remains an imperfect system until we see how “playoffs” will work out this year, it was still better than what the NFL has. Polls give fans something to talk or brag about each week leading up to the next game. They’re also fun to contemplate, in particular if you like stats and numbers.
15. The Tradition
College football traditions are the oldest and most elaborate practices in all of sports. There’s the Little Brown Jug awarded to the winner of the annual Michigan verses Minnesota game, the War Eagle entrance for the Auburn Tigers, dotting the “I” in Script Ohio, the Clemson tigers running down the hill, the Twelfth Man at Texas A&M, the Victory bell awarded to the winner of the annual USC vs. FUCLA game and who can forget Notre Dame castrating all the players after Halloween.
Actually, I just made that last one up. Who says that SHOULDN’T happen though!
So here we go College Football fans. It’s our time to shine!
We would like to think women and sports go together like peanut butter and jelly 😛 Might be a bit more complicated than that. It’s like what Smither’s said to Mr. Burns,”Women and Seamen don’t mix.” Ha, maybe not really.
Women and sports have a very interesting and at times depressing relationship. With all of the controversy surrounding Ray Rice’s less than harsh punishment for hitting his wife versus the San Antonio Spurs hiring the first woman assistant coach, it’s unavoidable to question the “real” place women have in sports. There are several different sports that have a separate women’s leagues: WNBA, Softball, Soccer, Golf, Hockey. And who can forget, lingerie football. Kidding, kidding.
Of course the manliness sport has to have women play in their underwear……
These women leagues have yet to experience the success of the men’s leagues, and sadly, probably never will. Why? For one, they are not commercially viable in part because people may think watching women play sports is not be as exciting as the big boys and flat-out just don’t care. If people cared, they would be lucrative markets and be broadcasted nationally. The popularity of the National Soccer League lasted about as long as David Beckham’s screen time in Bend It Like Beckham, Softball ceases to exist in the Olympics, the WNBA is going to have to hitch hike overseas, The National Hockey League ended 7 years ago and Golf…..well, let’s be honest, who the hell watches golf?
Despite these women leagues, women athletes do in fact dominate other sports. Unfortunately, those other sports suffer the stigma of being labeled very feminine and dainty, displaying a downright sexist outlook on these women athletes. I’m looking at you Gymnastics, Figure Skating, Synchronized Swimming and Ballet. YES, ballet. Ballet is badass. Haven’t you seen Center Stage? Seriously, can you don’t see those ballet dance moves done by the frail and feeble.
In typical sexist fashion, these ‘feminine’ sports are slapped with heavy makeup, tight bright spandex, blinding sequins and at times, just awful…awful music. Despite the feminine presentation, these women are badass athletes who work hard to jump 10 ft in the air, land that triple toe lutz, tread water for hours on end while starving themselves. That sheer dedication and their athletic prowess is immensely admirable and shouldn’t be dumbed down by being too “gay” or “soft.” Because they are far from it.
The only sport that I can think of where women experience the same level of popularity and success as men is Tennis. Tennis has become one of the most popular international sports, boasting around 1 billion fans around Europe, the Americas and Asia. Yes the uniforms are a bit ridiculous but the athletic intensity remains the same. Serena Williams’ athletic power alone probably scares the hell out of men in Compton.
It’s sad to say, but the reality is that women and sports DO mix but make some sort of odd concoction that doesn’t tend to sit well with the general male public. Then again, you have the women who have left their permanent mark on the sport they played, coached, commentated or just even loved.
The Williams sisters
The interesting takeaway from this diverse list of women in sports is that they all are influential, business savvy, and intelligent individuals, yet not all are athletes. Can we say the same about men?
Patt Summit is known as one of the greatest coaches of all time. Danica Patrick defeated all the conservative odds and became the first popular woman race car driver to compete with the boys on the NASCAR track. Jeannie Buss pretty much single handily runs the Los Angeles Lakers (one of the biggest brands in pro sports) with no thanks to her co-owner brother. The Williams sisters have permanently made themselves tennis royalty. Linda Cohn has been a witty sportscaster for over 20 years.
Men do run the sport, but it’s the women who make it interesting. A bold statement that may be. Bold enough to piss off the boys 🙂
In an ideal world, women would receive the same respect as men in every facet of life. But they don’t. And the sports world is no different, maybe even worse. Women and sports do mix but takes a bit more effort on the women’s side to make it functional. Hats off to the women who have and still are succeeding in sports, leaving their mark on a male dominated world.
BTW: Screw Roger Goodell for slapping Ray Rice on the hands and Stephen A. Smith for saying “She had it coming.” Watch out boys, you may have it coming….
Happy Tuesday to all!
I just received a lovely email from good ol’ Dad, sharing with me a fun-filled email that was sent to the Chicago Tribune Newspaper after an article, written by Clarence Page, was published, an article about changing the name of the Washington Redskins.
All I can say is YES, YES , YES. Please read and tell me if you agree that we should send this guy a honey-baked ham.
Dear Mr. Page…
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. I would suggest, as in an email I received, they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.
I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive. Gone! It’s offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the
Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers.”