ESPN: World Wide Leader of Baloney

ESPN. The worldwide leader in sports….or is it something else, something dishonest, something false, something almost as fake as an E! television show.

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Although I do enjoy watching my Top 10 from time to time…and those damn 30 for 30s are just too good to pass up, lately ESPN’s news coverage has been a bit unbearable….in fact downright shameful.

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It all started last fall with Les Miles and his “pending termination” from LSU.

For a good two weeks ESPN wouldn’t shut up about LSU firing Les Miles, interviewing anyone they could find on campus to ask them their thoughts on the matter.  Yes, of course, one of the best college football coaches in the land who has taken his team to 11 bowl games with a 7-4 record, a coach that weaseled his way into convincing the NCAA to share a BCS Championship with USC, a coach who has an overall winning record with 112 wins and 32 loses is going to get canned. Makes sense to me.

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Hell the guy is environmental for god sakes, he actually drinks grass. Why would LSU get rid of this guy?

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It was so over-publicized that for his last home game in Baton Rouge, his team literally carried him off the field (RUDY, RUDY), because ESPN successfully convinced them that this was the last time they would be playing for Les Miles.

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ESPN fasho was front row and center for the post-game press conference for “The Announcement.”  Sorry Lebron, not this time.

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And you think it couldn’t get any worse?  Introducing Super Bowl 50, Cam Newton vs. White America.  I’m sure no one can exactly pin point who began this idiotic discussion, but I would definitely bet that ESPN had something to do with it.  And why wouldn’t they? Race is a hot enough topic that always ignites rapid fire op-eds and discussions in the news and beyond.  Some would say that’s just good journalism…..puke in my mouth.

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“The Plight of the Black Quarterback,” they are calling it.  Cam Newton is making headlines not because he has led his team to their second Super Bowl or the fact that he is highly favored to win this year’s MVP, but because of his celebratory antics and “fun” behavior on the field.

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Unfortunately, the rules that apply to other star quarterbacks in the NFL don’t seem to apply to Newton. And according to ESPN reports,  he apparently knows exactly why.

“I’m an African-American quarterback that may scare a lot of people,” Newton said frankly just days after winning the NFC Championship game. “[B]ecause they haven’t seen nothing that they can compare me to.”

Paging Russel Wilson……an African American Quarterback who actually has a Super Bowl ring honey, hold up.

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Perhaps Cam Newton is the one who brought up the issue, but ESPN is having a fucking FIELD DAY, covering the story like white on rice….sorry bad choice of words there.

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There is not much talk about Peyton Manning, no real talks about the point spread, only talks about Cam Newton and his race.

Linking his antics to his race is somewhat of a cowardly blow (YEAH CAM).  However, it is not ‘pathetic cowardice’ that ESPN is worried about it.  No, they need to hold the attention of their viewers at all costs, even if it means hosting an on-site poll asking fans to vote what they think of the issue.

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Newton’s “race” really isn’t the issue to begin with.  The only reason it is an issue is because ESPN is making it “THE ISSUE.” The true issue, which the ESPN poll participants have so sensibly concluded, is his behavior. Nothing about his childish behavior is linked to the color of his skin. Nothing about his college antics of cheating on a number of final exams, stealing expensive electronics from students’ dorm rooms, getting arrested in 2008 with charges of grand theft, burglary, and obstructing justice.  And who can forget his father, Cecil Newton, seeking $120,000 to $180,000 for his son to sign with the Bulldogs out of junior college.

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His past and present actions speak louder than race.  In fact, they SCREAM.

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By the way, someone should snatch that Heisman back…..

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Bringing up race is never a good idea, unless you are running a news station I guess. I understand why ESPN is fixating on the issue, but I feel that sports is the one place where ACTIONS should speak louder than one’s words or appearance. Only performance on (and off) the field should be judged. ESPN should know better.

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I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t think we are judging Cam Newton by his race.  We are judging him strictly on his actions, both past and present.  Yes, he loves to have fun on the field and wants everybody to recognize it.  Fine, cool, go for it buddy.  Just make the cheerleaders look bad why don’t you.

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But why ESPN…WHY must you focus on his race? This merely makes the rest of us look bad because by watching your programming (which is prtety inevitable if you are a sports fan), we are unconscionably placing this topic of concern in our own minds, putting the discussion in the forefront, ultimately undermining what we have worked so hard to achieve as a society, where race shouldn’t the ultimate judgement.  It’s in the Constitution y’all!

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Now I am truly scared to see what type of questions ESPN reporters will ask Newton after the Super Bowl, win or lose.  “So Cam, do you feel any BLACK-ER winning/losing the Super Bowl….?”

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Do We Secretly Like Women Beaters?

The subject of women have recently been all the buzz in the sports world lately (and no, not exactly for athleticism….but by the way: Go Team USA)

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Women have been popping up all over ESPN because men have been popping them in the face!  And frankly, the overexposure has become a bit overwhelmingly nauseating.

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High-powered athletes are getting caught taking a few swings at the females.  So what else is new? The media has been covering domestic violence issues amongst athletes for as long as I can remember.  So what makes is worse now?

Well for one, social media.  No matter how much we can love social media for how it instantly connects us to the entire world, it would be naive to ignore the bad that comes with it. We want to know everything that is out there and we want to know it NOW!  We are all like children eating up any news that we find entertaining and dramatic, and notable athletes beating up women on camera is something we can’t get enough of.  The same goes for those who do the actual reporting of the news as well.

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Thanks to social media, we will always be in the”know” because we now can freely join in on the conversation without even being invited. #Rude

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Dare I say that our actions have led me to believe that we unconsciously reward these miscreants? Yes, I do.   Take for instance, De’andre Johnson, former quarterback of the Florida State Seminoles. Right after he clocked a female college student in the face at a bar and was promptly dismissed from the football team by Coach Jimbo, ABC’s Good Morning America Sports scooped him up for a sit down interview within 1 week of the released footage.  Forgive me if I’m wrong, but don’t sit down interviews require some sort of compensation? Compensation for Mr. Johnson, and granted, his Mother!

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Something isn’t right there….

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Same goes for Ranay Rice, Ray Rice’s personal punching bag for one fleeting moment in an Atlantic City hotel elevator.  That domestic dispute alone got more media coverage than the Super Bowl.  I’m sure Ranay Rice was compensated for her in-person interview(s) as well.  Believe me, there were multiple interviews.

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I know, I know, these in-person interviews aren’t all that bad.  For one, they shed light on an important issue that needs to be discussed and dissected in order to mitigate any similar future misfortunes. And two, it gives women who may have been victims of domestic abuse a voice, a once ignored voice that many can and need to relate to.

But do we really need to give all of these convicted male athletes another platform to plead their case? Do we need to hear more of their excuses for hitting a woman? Don’t get me wrong, female athletes can be guilty for the same actions.  Just look at Hope Solo parading around the Women’s World Cup like she is has never even touched a fly.  Homegirl has three domestic violence incidents under her belt, with her being the Fight Club culprit!  One of the very few situations where the double standard works to the advantage of women.  Sigh.

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I think we heard enough from males discussing the domestic mistakes they’ve made in the past.  Good for them….but do we really need to see it, hear it?  Can we, as viewers, even tell if these guys are telling the truth? By us merely watching their ESPN/Good Morning America TV spots on the domestic issues at hand inadvertently rewards these guys, listening to their forced apologies and considering absolution. We aren’t directly rewarding them for their actions but we are subconsciously thanking them for entertaining us, and of course, giving television channels their precious ratings.

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If compensation is actually accepted, then we clearly have our cultural priorities fucked up.  If we wanted to preserve any dignity that is left in these assailants’ souls, even their families, we as a society would let the armed forces deal with the legality of the situation (DUH!), but more importantly, we would merely walk away.  Why pay attention to someone who doesn’t deserve your attention, doesn’t deserve your beloved ESPN watching? The only reason we are paying attention to these stories is because violence is so engrained in our American culture. What can I say, America don’t take shit from no one.

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We need to make a conscious effort to stop rewarding these guys.  Paying more and more attention to these men is cowardice and shameful.  We are cowardice ourselves if we give these guys the time of day. Go watch something more positive and constructive, like Animaniacs.

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Let’s stop rewarding these guys by giving them the pleasure of sitting down and explaining themselves. Who cares? You hit a woman. You are scum.  Go away……

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OR Rhonda might call you out.

Haters Gonna Hate

The NBA Finals has finally come down to two teams. The creams of the crop. The picks of the litter. [Insert any “absolute best” cliches here].

The Golden State Warriors are taking on the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Curry vs. James.  Cute Kid Riley vs. Receding Hair Line.

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So who do you think is going all the way?  Well, that should be easy to answer. Just ask yourself this: Who do you want to see raising that golden trophy? Who do you want to send to Disney World?

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Steph Curry, no question!  Lebron already has two championship wins, every endorsement deal known to man and has ESPN in the palm of his hand…why should we give this Space Jam wannabe a chance for his sweat band to be retired in the NBA Hall of Fame?

I know what you are thinking? “Why do you hate Lebron so much?”

You know why? Because haters gonna hate, and I am a true hater of Lebron.

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The guy is a walking “BUY ME” billboard, a man who is so hated he has his own website http://ihatelebronjames.com/.

(Granted the website hasn’t been recently updated. Probably because the hostility and hate just runs so deep that the website owner’s violent typing made his computer internally combust into flames)

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Now that is true hate.

It’s not that I hate Lebron, the man himself, it’s that I hate “the man, the myth, the legend” the media perpetuates and worships. Now that is something you can entirely blame on Lebron. Yes he is only doing his job, a job of god-given talent that anybody would kill for but doesn’t he have any shred of integrity or credibility to just say no to the media, the sponsorships and the attention?

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Someone needs to teach this goon about modesty. Next up, Lebron Tampons: time to get that thick-ass sweat band protection ladies!

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All of the credit and ball-sucking attention Lebron receives from ESPN is just nauseating. There must be some undisclosed contract where he pays ESPN for his unbearably large amount of air time and mentions.  This just in at ESPN – “Let’s see what Lebron thinks of the Masters! According to his Twitter, he tweets: “Yo Tiger Woods, where you at?”

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I don’t think any athlete can compare to his obscene level of overexposure.  Well, maybe Peyton Manning.

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With the millions of dollars he makes daily (yes DAILY), doesn’t he have enough money to feed Russia? You would think that but no, he probably doesn’t. I mean that lavish lifestyle doesn’t pay for itself.

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And now that Lebron is back with the Cavaliers, an unnecessary spectacle of itself, ESPN will stop at nothing to see him holding that golden basketball trophy for a third time, a shining beacon of hope that the hero can return to his hometown and achieve the possible.  YES the possible, this is Lebron we are talking about.

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The real culprit here is ESPN.  But who the hell is going to hate ESPN, the almighty giver of worldwide sports and beloved top 10!

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That being said. Go Warriors, the rightful winners who have no players sucking on ESPN’s proverbial teet. Steph Curry has yet to become a tainted spokesperson of soul-less commerce, so there is still time for his pure talent to take him all the way, all the way to get that golden trophy.

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Plus, his daughter is just too cute to pass up.

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The Grinches of 2014

When Christmas time rolls around, you can’t help but think of your life and the people around you.  These swimming holiday thoughts are supposed to deliberately make you feel grateful and joyous that you don’t live in a third world country, can freely express yourself on a whim and have some form of sustenance to get you through your day, whether it be food or ESPN, you got it.  Life is good people!

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But you can’t help but wonder why so many people out there have it so good yet are complete jerk faces. Especially athletes.  So let us toast to this year’s Sports Grinches to more or less make us feel better about ourselves….when in actuality we still wish we were a rich Grinch.

1.  Floyd Mayweather Jr.

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How can I not pick this buttface.  You can always count on Mayweather to make the cut for the rest of his life.  But a little incident involving a friend’s suicide definitely put him over the edge this year.  Mayweather apparently witnessed his friend’s suicide over a face to face chat on his laptop.  He obviously failed at saving a life, so he decided to take his unapologetic ass to a Clipper game later that night.

Plus, is he really going to fight Pacquiao in May?  The fight will OF COURSE fall under the exact same day as the Cotto vs Canelo show down.  Sigh…….

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2. A-rod

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This jerk just doesn’t want to go away.  In the beginning of the year, A-rod  was expected to make his big comeback from his PED suspension.  That turned out to be a big fat NO.  It was then later revealed that he paid off a family member , his cousin, to keep his mouth shut about A-rod’s shenanigans.  Would it be terrible to just come clean A-rod??   One of the major reasons he is such a class-A Grinch is that jerk face smile he is always dawning.  Then again, the Yankees do owe him about $60 million……

 

3.  Roger Goodell

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There is just not enough time in the day to begin discussing the gravity of Roger Goodell’s “Grinch” behavior he so unabashedly displayed this past year.  We shall see how 2015 will unfold for Mr. Goodell….wait, I mean the NFL.

4.  Donald Sterling

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Well this guy should be at the top of everyone’s list for 2014.  Donald Sterling proceeded to become the most hated man in the NBA overnight due to his Uncle Ben behavior.  Well, good thing he is banned from the sport entirely.

5. Lebron James

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He went back to Cleveland.  Enough said.

College Football > The NFL

I don’t know about you, but I am more excited than a fat kid at the county fair right now….and you know why?

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Two words: College Football…….and maybe beer.

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Better make that three words.

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College Football is upon us! This is the time of year when being crunk before 4 pm is acceptable, when you change your cell phone ring to marching band music, when hanging out in the parking lot is socially acceptable and when getting into heated fights no matter where you are is just plain awesome.

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From the Coliseum to Kyle Field, from the “Big House” to Beaver Stadium, college football fans are thinking more about Saturday’s game than anything at work, that’s for sure.

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It’s the thought that if your team loses one game, their national championship aspirations may be shot to shiz. It’s that late-game interception that leads the dramatic two-minute victory. That’s what we come out in hoards to see these boys give all they got every weekend.

Beyond awesome.

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But then awesomeness is at times derailed by the few sorry people who ask you “Why are you wasting your time watching College? The NFL is way better bro!”  I really hate coming into contact with those people because for one, it is illegal to set their car on fire, two, fantasy football is actually kind of cool and three, they know deep down in their very souls that they are just flat-out wrong.

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So here is my top 15 reasons why College Football is better than the NFL.

1. The Rivalries

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Pro-football rivalries pale in comparison to long-standing college ones.  There’s really no comparison. Not only have they been around longer and generate a more intense atmosphere for the upcoming match-up, they play just once for a solid year of bragging rights. The NFL will play their rival from the same division at least twice in a single season, removing the significance of each win.  What’s the fun in that?

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Love THIS!

2. The Heisman Trophy

Does the NFL have a Heisman Trophy….?

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3. The Marching Bands

College bands are an integral part of the college football experience. They have a way of getting fans pumped up and behind their team like no other. The music is so loud and powerful, you cannot help feeling motivated to get off your seat, clap your hands, and scream your fight song at the top of your lungs. It generates a special feeling and unique atmosphere foreign to pro sports.

Some of these marching bands have even won Grammy awards, been featured on Late Night, in feature films and even have had THE Ron Burgundy lead them to the promise land.

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Just saying……

BTW: Kudos to the band who got banned by the BYU Mormons.  You are an inspiration to all.

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4. A Day to Get Over the Hangover

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Monday is a work day.  That sucks because if you’re an NFL fan and you can’t hold your liquor, you’ve probably gone through life bouncing around between jobs or just completely hating life every Monday morning.  Do not discount the day of reckoning brought upon you by the hangover gods!  College games on Saturday should be your Day of Sloshness and then Sunday your Hangover Day.  If not, you might have to start exercising some self-control, and who really wants to do that?

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5. Brent Musburger

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You can hate Brent all you want but the man at least makes it interesting.  Sure, he makes it interesting by using the same old catch phrases that he’s been using for years, plus in his old age he is getting more and more inappropriate and senile.  Thank you AJ McCarron.

There’s also a Brent Musburger drinking game…?!?!?!! OMG you must see for yourself: http://bit.ly/BQ5Tv. That alone gets him on the list….and Herbie ❤

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6. Roger Goodell doesn’t exist in College Football

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I’m not a big fan of the Hammer.  Seriously.  I don’t understand why 32 grown upindividuals, the owners of each NFL team, can’t come up with real discipline rules and ways of solving issues, especially when it comes to domestic abuse.  “Uhhhh this player who beat the hell out of his wife…..let’s suspend him for only 2 games.  BUT this other fella who tested positive for marijuana….let’s suspend him for an entire year!”  What the hell Roger?  And, then, he’s washing his hands ofthe whole Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy problem and leaving it up to the players and owners to get through.  Whatever, dude.

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7. The Scandals

Yeah, I know, it’s a negative but for many others, it’s gold!  I mean, where else can you get into ridiculous debates about whether or not the exploitation of individuals is based on some cockamamie scheme of providing a college education is okay?  No where else except in college football!  Without Jameis Winston last year, the end of the season sure would have been boring.  Being charged for only 1/2 crimes is pure scandal in the making, when the crime he was actually charged for was straight up foolish. Damn, those crab legs must have been worth it.  And you gotta hand it to Josh Shaw of USC for being a complete moron and lying to God.  Ugh.

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Idiocy is entertainment.  Haven’t you seen Jackass?

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8. Lou Holtz vs Mark May

These two together is just two college football peas in a pod.  Love them 🙂

Every season, you can always count on these two to bring on the heated bickering to ESPN, diverting our attention from the moronic behavior of Lee Corso.  And rightly so.

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9. The Cheerleaders

Sure, most fellas would put this group of folks much higher than number 10 on the list, but come on people, really?  From a purely aesthetic point of view, cheerleaders are cool.  They dance and holler and they’re always happy.  Plus, it’s nice to see somebody dancing and doing flippity dippitiy moves without having to wait every four years for the Summer Olympics.

 

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Plus I would hope their academic scholarship is more than $50/game.  Sorry Raider Girls…..

10. Better Tailgating

You can live anywhere in the United States, well, almost anywhere, and get to a college football game.  No, really.  And…when you get to that college football game, if you wear the right colors there will be somebody, somewhere in the parking lot, willing to give you a bratwurst and ice-cold brewski.

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While both NFL and college venues feature elaborate tailgating traditions, the college atmosphere is a lot more fan-friendly and just flat-out more awesome. Most college fans bring their entire family, adding a nice little Hallmark touch to the party. Let’s face it, there are idiots that abuse alcohol in all walks of life, but at college tailgates, it seems a bit more contained and just downright fun.  Don’t worry, there are bound to be some parental figures there to keep your idiocy in check.

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11. Better Overtime

In college football, both teams are given equal opportunity to score, and the outcome does not hinge on a mere coin toss. While the coin toss does determine which one first goes on offense, the other team still gets a fair shot to score. Each team starts on the defender’s 25 yard-line and on fourth down they can either go for it to obtain a first down or touchdown, or kick a field goal. The other team then gets a turn to do the same. If the other team scored a touchdown or a field goal, your team must do the same or you lose the game.  It can get intense.

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It’s high time the NFL implements a similar method not so contingent on a coin toss.

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12. Each is Game is IMPORTANT

In college football, rarely do we see a team play the same opponent in a single season. In the NFL, a team will play another from the same division twice in one season. While some fans argue it gives them a chance at payback, it confuses bragging rights unless the same team wins both match-ups. USC and UCLA fans and players can brag, with annual certainty, that they beat their rival back in said year. And isn’t that what bragging rights are all about?

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An NFL fan cannot claim the same unless they beat their rival both times in a single season. If they have to share bragging rights in a given season, it takes something away from the win and makes beating your rival meaningless; especially if the loser of the first meeting manages to make it to the playoffs while your team sits at home.

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13. No Trades, No Lockouts, No Changes

Just ask any Cleveland Browns fan how devastating it can be when your team decides to uproot and move to another city. The Michigan Wolverines will always be in Anne Arbor, forever sport blue & yellow, and will never cease to exist. Many fans of certain pro teams over the years did not have that same sense of security. A college fan could never imagine their team disappearing or moving to another location. It would be a nightmarish scenario for any fan of any sport to endure.

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Our lives are filled with such uncertainty at times, the continuity of college football is a refreshing reminder that we DO have something we can always count on.  Sweet.

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14. The Polls and Rankings

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, polls provide college fans with something to brag about and a gauge to compare their team to others. While it remains an imperfect system until we see how “playoffs” will work out this year, it was still better than what the NFL has. Polls give fans something to talk or brag about each week leading up to the next game. They’re also fun to contemplate, in particular if you like stats and numbers.

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15. The Tradition

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College football traditions are the oldest and most elaborate practices in all of sports. There’s the Little Brown Jug awarded to the winner of the annual Michigan verses Minnesota game, the War Eagle entrance for the Auburn Tigers, dotting the “I” in Script Ohio, the Clemson tigers running down the hill, the Twelfth Man at Texas A&M, the Victory bell awarded to the winner of the annual USC vs. FUCLA game and who can forget Notre Dame castrating all the players after Halloween.

Actually, I just made that last one up.  Who says that SHOULDN’T happen though!

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So here we go College Football fans.  It’s our time to shine!

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America, F*ck Yeah….?

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The 2014 Olympics have come and gone, leaving America feeling restless and defeated.  Although the country’s ill-fated Russian relations may have come into play, America still came up short, winning 0 medals in events they usually dominate.  Dominate you say?

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When I think of the word “dominate,” I ultimately think of power, individualism and (in America’s case) imperialism.  Throughout our nation’s history, we have experienced more victories than defeat when playing on the world stage: The Revolutionary War, War of 1812, The Civil War (depending upon which side you were on), WWI, WWII, The Gulf War.  The Olympics are no different. Why do you think we have a medal count?

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The Olympics are any country’s chance to shine through athletic prowess.  Hmm, Russia figured that out real quick.  But the United States had other accidental plans, plans of unintentionally showcasing vulnerability and submission.  Two character traits the country would rather not show to the rest of the world.  Come on, aren’t we supposed to be THE world super power?

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Is this a possible foreshadowing of our future world standing?  Is this our time to step our of the spotlight and let other nations take the wheel?  Who the hell knows, I’m just talking about sports here.

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However, our less than stellar performance at this year’s Winter Olympics did bring our country of bit of shame, embarrassment and disappointment.  Especially in events we usually (and were expected to) win. But hell, must we always feel the need to win, to gloat and to feel accomplished?  Maybe that’s why ESPN, the supposed WORLD wide leader in sports, Olympic coverage was so limited.  Isn’t it safe to assume that there would be at least one Olympic athlete making the coveted Top 10 during ESPN’s SportsCenter every night during the Olympic 2 week run?? Maybe that is too much to ask of ESPN, a channel which seemed to be fixated on only AMERICAN sports rather than Olympic athletes who are competing against, I dunno, the WORLD!  Sure, fine.  The way ice is made more exciting than Lebron’s broken nose.

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The reason we are feeling such disappointment right now IS because of the media.  Good GOD, the coverage was just so skewed to the point where it almost seemed like we weren’t winning any medals. I wouldn’t say the ridiculous media hype placed on the US Olympic athletes in Sochi was the reason why they lost, but it definitely didn’t help.

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Rather than brush off our national disappointment, as Americans we should embrace it.  Brushing it off would be the coward’s way out. The United States is a country that prides itself on itself, a nation that has defied all odds by winning independence, practicing foreign diplomacy and building the most fortified military in the world.  The United States has the financial ability to send as many athletes as they want to compete on foreign soil among the best in the world.  That is an achievement of itself and should bring no disappointment to any country.  Well, except for that Olympic ring fiasco…..sorry Russia…..and that guy from Norway eating it during the Opening Ceremony.

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The whining and sniffling is a mere spoiled child that is used to getting everything it wants.  Let us embrace the change.  This disappointment, this change, is something that will make this country stronger, a strength that will make us become more poised in the way we conduct ourselves abroad, the expectations we hold and the outcomes we don’t necessarily desire, but need.

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This experienced disappointment would have been ideal if it was the Summer Olympics.  Or perhaps this disappointment came at the right time.  Slap in the face America.  Wake up! Let us share the crown with other countries and rejoice in diversity.  What’s the fun in winning all the time anyways?  Just ask Michael.

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SUPER confused

Super-Bowl-2014

BIRD V.S. BEAST.  This Super Bowl is a tough one to call for many different reasons.  Both teams bring so much to the table because both teams have something to prove with a newcomer coach wanting to solidify his position in the NFL and a veteran quarterback in search of his second Super Bowl ring.  Both teams are quite awesome with both their states legalizing the green (Yea, I went there) while simultaneously representing the West.

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Remember the West side of the country ESPN? Are you guys even alive over there under all that snow?!  Damn Super Bowl, had to be in NYC.  Always the East trying to outshine the West…”SHINE” being the operative word….  Sorry, got off track….

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But who will win?  Who knows.  The bigger question is:  Who are you going to root for?

We should all be in for a treat on Sunday, as Denver and Seattle ended the season ranked No. 1 and 2 in the advanced NFL stats efficiency model by virtue of each team’s dominance on one side of the ball. For the Broncos, that side is obviously offense, led by quarterback Peyton Manning. And for the Seahawks, it is defense, led by their smothering secondary.  Yikes, sorry Russell, I guess you aren’t leading the pack 😦  Not if Richard Sherman has anything to say about it….

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The Seahawks are coached by the improbable Pete Carroll.  As a die-hard USC fan, you can’t help but love this guy despite his sudden, but necessary, departure from NCAA trouble.  Every other day since the playoffs, ESPN has published an article about Pete Carroll, outlining his awesomeness as a human being, an awesomeness that is so palpable that every player in the NFL wants to play for him.  Carroll was voted the most popular coach in the NFL, according to a survey conducted by ESPN.com. Carroll received over 22 percent of the votes cast by over 320 players asked “Which head coach would you most like to play for?”

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Carroll’s creation of a laid back, player-first atmosphere has been a hallmark of his time at both Seattle and USC, and that’s a major reason why players and fans LOVE him. Carroll doesn’t fit the coaching stereotype of an inflexible hot head douche — sorry Jim Harbaugh….and take off those hideous khakis, for the love of GOD — and that makes him someone NFL players want to work under.

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But then again, there is Peyton.  Peyton Manning set his own NFL record with 55 touchdown passes this year — that’s three-and-a-half TD passes every single game. To put it in another way: He had roughly 14 TD passes every four games. The New York Jets had 13 TD passes all season. DUDE.  At 37, coming off a career-ending neck injury, Manning had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history.

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Peyton Manning is a Monster Beast on the field. More importantly, in some ways, Manning finally seems comfortable with the football geek that he is. To the media’s amusement, he has been loose and funny in interviews this whole postseason. After the Broncos beat the Chargers, somebody asked if retirement was weighing on his mind, and he replied: “What’s weighing on my mind is how soon I can get a Bud Light in my mouth.” And isn’t that what is really weighing in all our heads?

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Two very likable guys, one Super Bowl.  I really don’t know!  For one, you want to see Petey win a Super Bowl just to stick it to big butt khaki wearing Jim Harbaugh, a feat he couldn’t conquer last year.  Buwhahaha, who’s the man now?!

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Second, Peyton needs to get another ring to stick it to his younger brother.  Despite Eli Manning’s 2 Super Bowl wins and 2 Super Bowl MVP awards, Peyton is by far the better quarterback, a quarterback whose name is already being etched in gold at the Football Hall of Fame.  With another Super Bowl win, Eli can take a seat.

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All you can root for in this situation is the commercials, hoping they will be worth the 1 million dollars.  I would say the half time show, but seriously who will be watching that?  Sorry Bruno, but I think I will take the Puppy Bowl instead.

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