Boo Fucking Hoo

He just looks like a cry baby.  And you know why?  Because he is. Just look at him. He has never looked so good in his life.  That’s because his LIFE is ENDING.

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Alex Rodriguez, Arod, Asshole, Bubble Butt…call him what you will but he has definitely over stayed his welcome in Baseball Land.

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Maybe he should start thinking about retiring to Fantasia.  I mean, he is already painted as a Centaur right?

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But would the mystical fantasy land that is Disney’s Fantasia really welcome Arod with open and forgiving arms?

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(Don’t eat the apple grrrrrrl.  Can’t trust anybody in Fantasia)

Probably…..but then he would die and then be re-directed to the Night On Bald Mountain scene, where the giant scary devil Chernabog summons the evil spirits and restless souls from their graves.  That’s what is going to happen to Arod.  He is going to be left to dance in the night, the shadows of Baseball, and forever be a slave to Chernabog….Chernabog is hopped up on steriods…obviously.  Haven’t you seen his muscles?!  That ain’t CGI yo.

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One thing is clear.  Arod will never again see the light of day….

Or maybe he will find comfort in the arms of this sexy dude……

ArodBif

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Quack Quack

I’m sorry but I have to give a shout out to this amazing, and truly inspiring, video.

Despite its fictional content, I really think this 30 for 30 film of Gordon Bombay could really change lives.  Who is to say that the Mighty Ducks isn’t one of the best sports movies?

Although it is Disney movie, this film inspired the creation of an actual professional Hockey Team.  Now I ask you, what other sport film has done that?!  That is pretty Mighty…

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Oh the Mighty Ducks, a bunch of wise cracking middle schoolers from the middle of nowhere Minnesota, made our hearts melt with your typical David and Goliath tale, the underdogs defeating evil…I mean the bigger better team.

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Although you feel pity for these misfits, you don’t in the end.  They went on to play in the freakin’ Olympics and won!  Do they even have Olympics in Junior Hockey, who the hell knows.  They only played Trinidad and Tobago, Italy and Iceland (the junior hockey capitals of the world) DUH.

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And then they go on to get full scholarships at a snotty east coast prep school, defeating Varsity and once again making us realize that these misfits truly are mighty and can defeat pretty much any team that skates their way.

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Nobody can argue that 3 films was quite enough for this franchise.  D2 amazing, D3 not so much. Gordon Bombay was only in D3 for a total of 10 minutes.  10 minutes of Emilio Estevez screen time is clearly not enough. Coach Gordon Bombay wasn’t even their coach?!  They weren’t even the Mighty Ducks…..fail Disney, fail.

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Oh ESPN, if you could truly make a 30 for 30 film on Coach Bombay, maybe then we can start rooting for the underdogs again, start quacking in unison and remember why kids playing sports is the greatest entertainment this world has to offer.

Quack….Quack…Quack!!

or just watch this…