Where is Biff Tannen When You Need Him?

It’s that time of year when we get to feel like sport scientists and yakkity yak about a topic we may or may not be all that familiar with.  Who doesn’t like to sound cool and keep in the loop?


That is right boys and girls, it is March Madness!


So by now your brackets must be finished and you are probably second, triple, quadruple guessing all of your choices.  Don’t worry, you didn’t get your degree in Bracketology. Only the special few attended universities that offered such a major.


My only hope is that you only made a few brackets (instead of 15) just for your own sanity.


I filled out two, nothing too adventurous because I would like to win the pot.

But who the hell knows. Nobody can predict the future of sports except Biff Tannen. Lucky bastard.


So how do you think yours will match up this year? Who are your Cinderella stories, upsets, shutouts, beat downs, slam dunks, losers and champions?

Watch Wyoming win it all. Calling it now.


Smack that Bracket

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and March Madness KINGS.”


Well no, not really but you get it.  It’s MARCH MADNESS baby! This is the time of year when everybody suddenly becomes a college basketball fan, fills out a bracket, takes the time to listen to “experts” in basketball analysis (does that even exist?)……and a general consensus of just feeling smarter.

Bracketology (yes it is an actual word coined by ESPN’s Joe Lunardi) is like a new statistical rating percentage sports equation that determines your predictions in College Basketball’s ultimate tournament.  Can’t you just feel the power of knowledge flowing through you…….


When it comes to March Madness, you don’t necessarily have to like College Basketball, you just have to like being right.  If you fill out a bracket and win your pool, you can’t help but gloat.  You can’t help but gloat the SHIZZZzzzz out of a pretty much pointless life victory.  But hey, it’s the little things that get us through the day.


March Madness serves as a nice distraction from our everyday menial lives.  A nice distraction that makes us feel a little sense of involvement and empowerment in not only the people we are playing with (family, coworkers, friends) but in the greater arena that is College Basketball. ShoOOooot even the President of the United States takes the time to test his bracketology skills.


March Madness is the only time when we feel like we are participating in the collective fate of a sport.  We are willing teams to win, not for them and their potential championship glory but for our benefit to experience something beyond our normal spectrum of feelings derived from sports.  Yes it is amazing to follow a team from the beginning, rooting for a team engrained in your roots yet it is even more amazing to not even be a sports fan and participate in one of the biggest sporting events of the year.


I know nobody out there can predict the outcome of sporting events except if your Biff Tannen in Back to the Future II.  But the feeling you get when you win your March Madness pool is priceless.


It’s such a useless yet beloved accomplishment, we can’t help but embrace it. So here is to a happy and eventful March Madness full of upsets and excitement.  All I can say is, I could care less about who wins the tournament….but I better win my pool.


March Sadness

This year’s March Madness is bound to bring more sadness than madness.


The 2013 college basketball season began like any other, ranked teams seemed to be dominated while making us all believe that bracketologists know what they are talking about.  Hell no.  Do they ever know what they are talking about?  LA Sports columnist Bill Plaschke isn’t a bracketologist and his brackets have finished in 90% accuracy the past two years on ESPN’s Around the Horn….which just goes to show you….if you follow sports and are a die hard passionate freak show for sports….then you got a shot to win your March Madness office pool.


Every March Madness is bound to bring heart-wrenching upsets, hail mary three pointers and your rare, but expected, shutouts.  In reality, you want all these things to happen, just in your bracket favor.  This season has had more than 15 upsets among top ten teams, giving every ranked team at least two losses.  As of now the #2 ranked team, Indiana, has lost four times.  FOUR.  The #10 team, Michigan St., has lost 7 times. Count ’em, SEVEN.  Yea, this is going to be a fun tournament.

Is it too much to ask to have a predictable March Madness?  Yes, yes it is…..because then there wouldn’t be any madness.  My only issue is that this year’s NCAA tournament is going to bring more jeers than cheers.  The only madness I am getting is the madness of making my bracket?!  I honestly don’t know who to choose let alone make an argument as to why I am choosing Ohio State over Valparaiso.  The one conference I always turn to, the eminent Big East Conference, has sadly fallen from grace.  Can we say…. overrated?  If I was you, I wouldn’t bet on any Big East Team getting very far in the tournament let alone winning it all.  So my advice, would be to bet on the randoms…..the more random the better, just shake up your bracket.   This March Madness is the Year of the Underdog.


Who is seriously going to win it all?  Nobody on ESPN can predict that. You can count on that  lucky Smoe to win it all, predicting Virginia Commonwealth to win as he/she proceeds to collect their accolades, congratulations and that big pot of mula.  I think we can all safely say that this bracket winner is more or less going to have no college basketball knowledge or real interest in the sport.  What a cheap trick you are March Madness!

Brackets - Locked Room