Cubano no quiero

Ohhh Mark Cuban.  Will you ever shut that big mouth of yours?

(Probably not, so this is why all the sports blogshpere goes kaboom when this guy speaks….how entertaining)

Dallas Mavericks Owner, Mark Cuban, has recently dismissed the Los Angeles Lakers offseason moves this summer, making the comment that the NBA season will not be decided before it begins.  Obviously he is talking about the doosey of a Laker trade, getting rid of Andrew Bynum and picking up Steve Nash and Dwight Howard in return (yeah-yah!).

When this Steinbrenner wannabe doesn’t get what he wants or when things aren’t going so well for his Mavericks, he let’s everybody know about it:

“The Lakers have done this before,” Cuban said. “Remember Gary Payton, Karl Malone and Kobe and Shaq were all together, and it didn’t work.

“It takes great chemistry, like coach (Rick Carlisle) alluded to, it takes guys wanting to be there — I don’t know if all their guys want to be there — it’s going to be interesting.

“Look, (the Lakers are) going to be a great team, but I remember when we made our run,” Cuban said. “We weren’t supposed to win any series. The Lakers were defending champs when we swept them, and they had everybody back. A lot of teams do a great job winning the summer, but I never get so antsy about what happens over the summer.”

[…]

“The CBA now isn’t just about money,” Cuban said. “Now it is about flexibility as well. And, for instance, going to the Lakers, this time next year, they wouldn’t be able to do a deal for Steve Nash. … The Nets and some other teams who have just said, ‘we’re going to spend whatever it takes,’ that is their team for a long time. Somebody gets hurt, something happens or it doesn’t work, they’ve got big problems.”

Almost politician like….don’t you think?

Hmmmmmm…didn’t that Laker squad work perfectly well?……despite Malone’s injury on top of the Kobe and Shaq-tastic feud.  I think it did work Cuban.  The Lakers dominated the league on pace to win 66 games and make it to the conference finals.  The only reason they were defeated in the Western Conference Finals by the Pistons is because Malone got injured AGAIN, his knee no less.  The Pistons were a healthier team.  It wasn’t because of bad chemistry.

 

 

Cuban does make a point about chemistry though.  Who knows what will happen with these two new players coming into an already older veteran squad.  Remember in Miami?  Things didn’t go as planned for the Heat until their second year together as the three musketeers.  Damn Lebron, now he has a ring.  Sigh…..

It is known that Kobe and Dwight don’t have the best relationship.  But in the scheme of things, I think they can set their differences aside and play some competitive ball.  Nash is going to have to learn some  more defense than offense if you know what I mean.  I know the dude can assist and run down the court till the cows come home, but can he guard these young point guards?  I’m sure it will be a good season just as long as nobody gets injured.  

I just love the burn Cuban gives, “I don’t know if all their guys want to be there.”  What a bitch.  The only one who didn’t want to be there isn’t there anymore.  He is in Philly, praying to GOD his risky knee surgery in Switzerland this summer will save his NBA career.  Dwight obviously wants to be there now, even though the Lakers might have been his second choice, he is making the most of it.  It’s like getting into your second college choice, hey man, it’s better than getting into NO college, just take a keg stand and enjoy life.

It is long ways away to say who is going to dominate the NBA this upcoming season.  Ahem….CUBAN.  Who knows, the Mavericks chemistry can come out of nowhere, leaving the Lakers forlorn and defeated.  However, there is more pressure on the Lakers to perform this season….well not according to Catty Cuban.  Who is to say that both teams might fall watching a much younger team pass them by to the championship finals (cough: cough : Thunder)

Even though I am quick to judge Cuban and his snarky remarks, he could have been talking to a different audience, an audience full of Maverick fans, sponsors, donors, etc.  I am not the ideal audience to catch wind of his comments.  Nevertheless, you got to hand it to Mark Cuban to really piss you off in this “snore” of a Laker offseason.    I mean seriously, can you name another owner who has been photographed with the championship trophy before the actual team and coaches, who WON the freaking game, has?!

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Good Riddance to the Bitch

YES.  Andrew Bynum is gone and we got Dwight Howard.  Maybe dreams really do come true…….

I just had to make a post about this amazing trade, more amazing that Bynum is gone and is never coming back.  I have never really agreed with Stephen A. Smith and am more partial to side with Skip Bayliss on ESPN’s First Take.  But this time, Bayliss is sadly…. sadly mistaken.

Just watch the clip displaying the intense argument over the bitch that is Andrew Bynum, titled  “Kareem Questions Bynum’s Commitment.”

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=8274551

In case you missed the fast paced reading of ESPN anchors, here is Kareem’s quote for you to get the full effect of the Bitch that is Andrew Bynum: “Andrew has been up and down on that issue. There are times he wants to play, do a great job and he goes out and does it.  Then here are other times where it seems like he’s not focused….When I first started working with him, he was eager to learn.  He appreciated me shortening the learning curve.  Once he figured he did everything he wanted to do in terms of learning, he didn’t want me to bother him constantly going over the fundamentals.”

Love me some Stephen A. Smith right about now.  He is COMPLETELY right.  WTF Skip?  Where do you get off questioning the word and talent of a basketball legend?  There is just no reasonable logic in defending the Bitch that is Bynum.  He clearly isn’t up to the level that is six-time NBA champion Kareem Abdul Jabbar and has obviously demonstrated a bratty attitude when playing for the Lake Show.  He clearly doesn’t want to listen to any advice from a NBA hall of fame player, who just wants to help him grow and become a better player.  Are you now the better player Bynum??  You don’t need any other outside help??  Why did he even show up to practice if he is soo damn good?  He was obviously above everybody else :/

Why have to deal with a temperamental douche who doesn’t want to play with one of the best basketball players in the game?  Shaq and Kobe hated each other towards the end despite winning some championship rings…and THAT animosity and tension didn’t negatively affect Shaq’s hustle and attitude.  He came to play and WON.

If Bynum was a professional, he would have swallowed his tongue and listened to what Kareem had to say.  You would listen and RESPECT what the legend had to say.  RESPECT is not a quality the Bitch has and probably will never have.  He could have been great with the Lakers, but his heart was never in it.

I don’t want to hope for Bynum to fail in Philadelphia….but it would be nice for some one to slap him silly.  All that potential and talent needs to go somewhere….and it sadly went nowhere in LA.  I only say “nowhere” because Bynum was putting up good numbers.   Despite those solid numbers, his bad attitude was just so palpable it became just frustrating to watch him play and watch his negative emotions seep into the team’s mentality.  His ungrateful attitude overshadowed his god given talent in LA.  After the playoff loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder last year, the Bitch Bynum told the press that he “would play for any team” next season.  WTF dude?  I guess we don’t want you here either, you ungrateful douche.  Get out of here and never come back.  Have fun re-creating the Rocky jog up those steps and chilling with the Liberty Bell.  Hey there is something you are definitely familiar with…… objects that are smaller than they actually appear.  HMMMmmmm…. explains so much……..

Good riddance to the bitchy ungrateful disrespectful rubbish.

Is the Lake Show dunzo?

Well Well Well looks like the Lake Show may not be dunzo after all?  Steve Nash is a pretty nice addition to this ailing Los Angeles team.  But is he the ultimate solution?

As much as a I love the alien look a like Steve Nash and all his point guard slick nasty moves, he is still NOT the solution for the Lake Show.  The Lakers are in far much more trouble than they want to lead on.  The problems are still there and from the looks of it, will be there for a while.

The Lakers have no bench.  No, seriously.  Nothing.  If you watched any of the Laker Western Conference Final games at all, you know exactly what I am talking about.  The Lakers have no money.  With all the dinero they had left I guess we can assume it went to Mr. Nash.  Paul Gasol, sad to say, must go.  He is the only somewhat “valuable” player we could trade to get someone valuable in return.  Besides, we would rather not pay out the rest of his contract to give those Laker Girls some shake weights for X-mas.

Good GOD do I wish we could trade Bynum for the ridiculously huge center Dwight Howard.  But, it sounds like Dwight only wants to suit up in Brooklyn or bust.  Bynum is a bitch.  Plain and simple.  He is like the anger spoiled teenager who acts out when he doesn’t get to go out past curfew.  Who wants that in the NBA?  Bynum, be grateful that you are playing for one of the best championship caliber teams and playing alongside one of the greatest players to ever hit the court…..but you won’t…..because you an anger lil bitch.  Grow up.  Where is Derek Fisher when you need him?  Talk some Papa Bear sense into his Big head.

 

 

 

The one player we all were hoping and praying would return to the Lake Show, Lamar Odom, went to the next best LA team, the Clippers.  I don’t know about you but I think Lam Lam is going to destroy with the Clippers.  Even though he is coming off his worst season, everyone believes that he is confident in returning to LA and playing his absolute best……bringing that purple and gold champ style to the Clipper court.  He was sixth man of the year when the Lakers decided to trade him.  I can’t wait to see Mitch Kupchack and Jim Buss pulling out their eye lashes this coming season…..

Will the Lake Show be served?    Maybe by Ray Allen and the championship Heat team……or quite possibly Jeremy Lin and the Rockets?  I think the Lake show can stomach to lose to those teams but losing their city to their own neighborhood rivals? Now that calls for some serious upchucking.

 

That’s ALL Folks

Porky Pig said it best: “That’s ALL Folks!”  We wish we could laugh off this season like a Saturday morning cartoon.  Sadly, we can’t.

The Los Angeles Lakers are dunzo.  This season, to say the least, has been disappointing.  VERY disappointing.  Harsh you may ask?  Hell NO.  The expectations for this NBA team are far too high.  But hey, that happens to a team with 17 championship rings, 4 won in the last 11 years.

After the loss to the young and energetic OKC Thunder, all Laker fans are turning their eyes to the fellas upstairs.  And they should!  We all want to know why our beloved basketball team has faltered, who is to blame and what is going to happen next year?  It’s just easier to point fingers than be rational.  Why?  Because this is LA, we don’t have time to be rational with our sports teams.  Especially to teams, like the Lakers, that  clearly have problems and issues that need to be addressed.

First and foremost, where the mofo was Andrew Bynum?!  This guy had the best season of his career up until the post season.  What gives?  Looking from the outside in, the only thing we can blame is his Bitchy Diva Attitude.  All of Laker Nation were well aware of Bynum’s immature ways but unfortunately taking it to the court, ultimately negatively affecting his game.  Did you see any hustle in his step against the Denver Nuggets or the Thunder?  I sure as hell didn’t.  He scored a whopping 10 points last game and 0 offensive rebounds.  Why and the hell are we even paying this DIVA?  Give that money to skid row yo, shoOOOooot.  Or better yet, give Bynum’s money to struggling high school players who actually strut their stuff on the court and play like they want to win.  GGeeeze.  I say get rid of the DIVA.  Sounds like he doesn’t even want to be a Laker anymore with statements like, “I’ll play anywhere.”  Somebody will pick his slow ass up and hopefully slap him silly and tell him, “HEY, you are a professional basketball player!  ACT LIKE IT!”

  Pau Gasol.  OOOooh Lord did I want you to be good.  Sadly, you came up way too short.  He is getting soft in his old age, I guess.  He had two good games throughout the post season, but still coming up short as a defensive player.  He just didn’t drive it hard to the basket or wasn’t aggressive enough to scare the bejesus outta his opponents to clear the way for a badass mamba jamba dunkeroo.  Him and Kobe were often seen arguing throughout time outs and team huddles…..that can’t be good.  You don’t want anybody on the team fighting with the Black Mamba.  I would like to see Pau go in hopes for attaining a good trade deal in the process, even though I will miss those press conferences showcasing his Nashville Southern Spanish accent.  Pau had a good run but I think it is about that time to end it.

 

 

 Ramon Sessions.  Bust or Must?  Dude fasho not a total bust, but definitely not the ideal must.  He really didn’t do anything for the Lakers this season, granted he didn’t have a whole lot of time.  But the Lakers had real high hopes for the point guard, which just blew up in Mitch Kupchack’s busted fugs face.  He most likely will not pick up his option and leave the Lake Show.  Good Riddance?  Naw, he tried to play hard and give us a taste of what younger players have to offer.  He just wasn’t the solution the Lakers were hoping for.

 

 

 

Metta World Peace.  This fools just makes me laugh.  Did any of you catch that press conference the other day?  Man, does he just bring on the laughs.  Despite his suspension, he played well throughout the post season as our key defensive player.  His offense is so-so, but we didn’t sign him for his three pointers.  We would like to think so.  Although World Peace is pretty comfortable where he is at, I think the Lakers should keep him.  He brings that aggressive badass attitude we sometimes need to get through games, especially during the playoffs.  Here is hoping that his attitude doesn’t turn into more suspensions.

The rest.  Honestly, our bench is terrible.  Is it beyond repair?  Maybe.  Troy Murphy (that lousy Irish blonde), Josh McRoberts, Devin Ebanks, Darius Morris, Steve Blake and Matt Barnes.  Yikes.  All of those fools could honestly be replaced.  None of them stepped it up this post season, minus Steve Blake’s hail mary three pointers.  I don’t know if it is Mitch Kupchack but let’s just say it is.  That douche.  He clearly doesn’t know how to build a team that helps Kobe Bryant be the Black Mamaba and get that 6th ring.  Maybe Kobe is getting too old, why yes he is, 33 years ol to be exact.  Not old at all, but if you ain’t playing golf, that is fasho OLD.  Kobe only has , the most, two good years left in the NBA.  Wouldn’t it be nice to see another championship before the Black Mamba’s decent into retired mediocrete?  Well if Mitch Douche Kupchack has anything to say about it, then who knows?  So far he hasn’t drawn in any promising talent.  

Which brings us to another sensitive subject.  Que paso with Derek Fisher and Lam Lam Odom?  Are we missing them yet?  Yes, we got swept by the Mavericks last post season but the Mavericks that season definitely drank some steroid Michael Jordan Space Jam laced Gatorade.  They won the whole damn thing, beating the infamous down syndrome looking Lebron James of the Miami Heat  Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome possum seeing Lebron not get the coveted ring he would kill his own children to get, but definitely sad to see how the Lakers finished their bad news bears season.  Can we get Lam Lam back?  I have no idea.  I don’t think we would want him back the way he ended his dismal season in Dallas.  It is pretty ironic and pleasing to see Derek Fisher go on to the Western Conference Finals when the Lakers are heading back to El Segundo.  BUwahahahah Mitch, what you going to do now?  Put some more hundred-dollar bills in your Lucky Charms every morning, not only will it make breakfast taste delicious but also make you realize that you have just thrown your money down a bottomless pit of a stomach and only getting in return a pile of poop players.