Today is the DAY

I am feeling all the FEELS today!

giphyZYxBDZ9giphyBecause today is the day that the 2015 College Football season kicks off.  Oh man. At the beginning of every season, I am always filled with such hope and excitement for the games to come, the players to watch, guessing what will unfold and, like a true college football fan, follow your team till the bitter end….or winning end if you are a Buckeye.

Who knows what will happen, but for now, I shall relish in this moment of hopeful positivity and elation.

Here is to a happy season everybody!

FAT-NAKED-ARKANSAS-FANncstangnam-style-10-6-12shirtless-clemson-fan-pours-beer-on-head-espn-college-gameday-gifs

Sark After Dark

So Steve Sarkisian got a little crunk on the big Salute to Troy night for the USC Football Program. According to several sources, he was fumbling around, used foul language and insulted other programs, particularly Notre Dame, Oregon and UCLA (nice).  This became dreadfully apparent after he showcased his inner frat boy while screaming “Fight the Fuck On,” into the podium mic right in front of the baby boomer big time donors.  Once his three sheets to the wind state became brazenly evident, Pat Haden immediately escorted him off the stage and began scolding him behind closed doors.  Thanks Dad.

tumblr_lgzb4jm3K41qh59n0o1_400

The only real sources from that night is a 5 second video clip from some random, a few tweets here and there and straight word of mouth…like the good old days.

LA Times Sports columnist Bill Plaschke released a quite alarming video stressing the issue that USC really needs to be concerned about coach Steve Sarkisian’s behavior at the Salute to Troy event.

It’s almost as if he is rooting for some sort of immediate termination.  Sarkisian released a statement claiming that he mixed prescription medicine with alcohol, mind you that this alcohol was completely free all night and most likely the best money can buy.  Any intelligent individual would have to agree that his behavior was irresponsible, childish and wrong, especially because he is the head football coach, one of the highest positions of authority on campus, some may even argue even in the Pac-12 Conference.

Im-Cool-gifSo Plaschke’s reactionary video draws up some important points but I think his response was more so fueled by that “shocking” gossip chatter that many nowadays consider actual news. The guy is going through a messy divorce and decided to throw back a few free drinks.  Who wouldn’t do the same? The only difference is that this guy had to go up and make a speech in front of hundreds of people, the same people who have very deep pockets, pockets that would like to be lightened by generous donations and such.  Plaschke has every right to say what he thinks and feels, that’s why the LA times pays him.  However, this Plaschke response seems a bit exaggerated, placing emphasis on buzz worthy words like “problems,” “humiliation,” and of course, the cliche “this is your wake-up call.”  Did Sarkisian even need a wake-up call in the first place?   How his players look at him is not the problem at all Plaschke, if anything his players are applauding this type of behavior because they can relate first-hand, “Hey, coach gettin’ turnt up!”

Turnt01Funny because a year ago, Plaschke was singing his praises…

Funny how things can change over the span of 1 year, 1 incident no less.

Sarkisian has a lot of responsibilities that he must be held to on and off the field.  This unfortunate event couldn’t have come at a worse time for USC.  This is the first year USC is off NCAA probation.  The Class of 2015 is the first full recruiting class USC has been able to put together for the first time in four years.  This is still USC’s year, their time to rise and shine despite Sarkisian’s antics.  Don’t ride off a team just because their coach got drunk.  I bet you anything Les Miles does this shit all the time.  Then again, that is the sacred SEC and this is the menial Pac-12, standards could be a bit skewed.

EDSBS-Les-Miles-ClapI don’t think a formal punishment is necessary.  I think the shame and embarrassment alone will suffice for now until the season even starts.  Sarkisian knows what he has to do this season to shut people up: WIN.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-4762-1388429483-17One thing is still certain though.  He is still better than Kiffin.

ndmspaint_kifgif

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Excited For College Football 2015

College Football 2015 is fast approaching and I can hardly contain my excitement.  Almost as excited as Tim Tebow’s first day as an Alter Boy.

Fullscreen-capture-9122014-101918-AM.bmp

So I assembled my top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming 2015 season.

10. Alabama vs. Tennessee

Even though Tennessee will be meeting Alabama in Tuscaloosa, it will still be entertaining to see Lane Kiffin squirm on the sidelines. After all, Knoxville did name their sewage system after Kiffin’s unexpected departure. Only a lucky few college football coaches have ever received such an honor.

lane-kiffin-what-is-that

9. Charlie Strong Wrangling The Longhorns?

Is Charlie Strong in the hot seat? As college football fans are well aware, Texas football is not only a way of life, it IS life. They expect championships and expect no less.  Charlie Strong is entering his second year as their head coach. His 2nd!  Honestly, if Texas wins one more game than they did last year, that wouldn’t matter.  But if Texas faces another dismal season in 2015 and fires Strong entering the 2016 season….geeze, get a life Texas.

EssentialExemplaryEyelashpitviper

8. Beat the Irish!

Notre Dame is ranked #10 in the preseason polls.  It really grinds me gears that no matter how shitty they were the season before, Notre Dame always seems to creep their way into the top 25 preseason poles.  WTF?! Yea well, Rudy won’t save you this season.

uschit

You-suck-man-angry-fuming-Gary-Oldman-livid-mad-pissed-point-rage-raging-upset-yell-yelling-you-suck-GIF-2015

7. Wow! Oregon’s Uniforms!

You gotta hand it to them, every season the Oregon Ducks give our eyes a nice little gift: tight neon-colored spandex boasting feathers of flight. Flight to Football. Nice.

b74195828d85d0fd2854b35202987cc35cdb3d232e54af46f3fe2917bff4e053

6. Urban Meyer’s Non-Existent Health Problem

Let’s see if he makes it out another year. Sorry Meyer family, the Buckeyes are far more important than you.  Careful there Urban, your anger may only exacerbate that heart condition of yours….

urban-meyer-is-mad

5. Everett “Cheater” Golson Taking Over For Crab Legs

Should be entertaining to see a Notre Dame drop out attempt to form his own legacy following Heisman Trophy-Winning Crab Stealing Misogynist Winston. It is quite the legacy, I must say.  However, Golson is one of the smallest QBs in the game.  Apparently, Golson could be the shortest Florida State QB in nearly 30 years.  He has no chance.

FireShot Screen Capture #2555 - 'ESPN CollegeFootball on Twitter_ _Everett Golson had one of his worst career games vs_ Arizona State on Saturday #CFBLive http___t_co_hFwJmal0q3_' - twitter_com_es

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, right, greets Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson after Florida State won 31-27 in an NCAA college football game in Tallahassee, Fla., Saturday, Oct. 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Wallheiser)

4. Introducing Ann Arbor’s Own: Constipation Face

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see Constipation Face take the Big House by storm. Not so much with his football team, but with his douche-bag childish antics and ridiculous facial expressions, I’m sure we are in for some pure laughter. Those high rising tight khakis alone are up for a College Football comeback.

harbaughhomecoming.0

And my personal favorite….

interception

3. Another Year, Another Year Older Can Only Mean One Thing: Retirement For Lee Corso!

Homeboy needs to pack his bags and take up golf. Someone just has to beat College Game Day out of him.  Or maybe just have one bad fall….. (I’m going to hell)

816272592

2. Playoffs Take 2

2nd time can be a charm.

Mtv-style-2nd-birthday-2

1. FIGHT ON

Oh yeah 🙂

tumblr_inline_ndqgemSWVx1rjic88

Do We Secretly Like Women Beaters?

The subject of women have recently been all the buzz in the sports world lately (and no, not exactly for athleticism….but by the way: Go Team USA)

anigif_enhanced-buzz-20272-1344548047-11

Women have been popping up all over ESPN because men have been popping them in the face!  And frankly, the overexposure has become a bit overwhelmingly nauseating.

RAYRICE-HOLZER-6401

High-powered athletes are getting caught taking a few swings at the females.  So what else is new? The media has been covering domestic violence issues amongst athletes for as long as I can remember.  So what makes is worse now?

Well for one, social media.  No matter how much we can love social media for how it instantly connects us to the entire world, it would be naive to ignore the bad that comes with it. We want to know everything that is out there and we want to know it NOW!  We are all like children eating up any news that we find entertaining and dramatic, and notable athletes beating up women on camera is something we can’t get enough of.  The same goes for those who do the actual reporting of the news as well.

6354322913834776021259965976_social network i can't

Thanks to social media, we will always be in the”know” because we now can freely join in on the conversation without even being invited. #Rude

gif-8

Dare I say that our actions have led me to believe that we unconsciously reward these miscreants? Yes, I do.   Take for instance, De’andre Johnson, former quarterback of the Florida State Seminoles. Right after he clocked a female college student in the face at a bar and was promptly dismissed from the football team by Coach Jimbo, ABC’s Good Morning America Sports scooped him up for a sit down interview within 1 week of the released footage.  Forgive me if I’m wrong, but don’t sit down interviews require some sort of compensation? Compensation for Mr. Johnson, and granted, his Mother!

la-sp-sn-deandre-johnson-apology-20150714

Something isn’t right there….

tumblr_m91fn7r6at1r15tyq

Same goes for Ranay Rice, Ray Rice’s personal punching bag for one fleeting moment in an Atlantic City hotel elevator.  That domestic dispute alone got more media coverage than the Super Bowl.  I’m sure Ranay Rice was compensated for her in-person interview(s) as well.  Believe me, there were multiple interviews.

images

I know, I know, these in-person interviews aren’t all that bad.  For one, they shed light on an important issue that needs to be discussed and dissected in order to mitigate any similar future misfortunes. And two, it gives women who may have been victims of domestic abuse a voice, a once ignored voice that many can and need to relate to.

But do we really need to give all of these convicted male athletes another platform to plead their case? Do we need to hear more of their excuses for hitting a woman? Don’t get me wrong, female athletes can be guilty for the same actions.  Just look at Hope Solo parading around the Women’s World Cup like she is has never even touched a fly.  Homegirl has three domestic violence incidents under her belt, with her being the Fight Club culprit!  One of the very few situations where the double standard works to the advantage of women.  Sigh.

tumblr_mk4trgXCQK1rdkqxgo1_r1_1280

I think we heard enough from males discussing the domestic mistakes they’ve made in the past.  Good for them….but do we really need to see it, hear it?  Can we, as viewers, even tell if these guys are telling the truth? By us merely watching their ESPN/Good Morning America TV spots on the domestic issues at hand inadvertently rewards these guys, listening to their forced apologies and considering absolution. We aren’t directly rewarding them for their actions but we are subconsciously thanking them for entertaining us, and of course, giving television channels their precious ratings.

anderson-cooper-surprised-shake-head

If compensation is actually accepted, then we clearly have our cultural priorities fucked up.  If we wanted to preserve any dignity that is left in these assailants’ souls, even their families, we as a society would let the armed forces deal with the legality of the situation (DUH!), but more importantly, we would merely walk away.  Why pay attention to someone who doesn’t deserve your attention, doesn’t deserve your beloved ESPN watching? The only reason we are paying attention to these stories is because violence is so engrained in our American culture. What can I say, America don’t take shit from no one.

tumblr_m6lwu9tkd61qbepy1o1_r4_250

fQALvvy

We need to make a conscious effort to stop rewarding these guys.  Paying more and more attention to these men is cowardice and shameful.  We are cowardice ourselves if we give these guys the time of day. Go watch something more positive and constructive, like Animaniacs.

giphy

Let’s stop rewarding these guys by giving them the pleasure of sitting down and explaining themselves. Who cares? You hit a woman. You are scum.  Go away……

7eTFC9l

OR Rhonda might call you out.

Ahh to be a Lakers Fan

The Los Angeles Lakers have been on quite the journey these past few weeks.  Wait, what the hell am I saying?  The Lakers haven’t been on any journey.  They haven’t even been invited to the journey.  Forget it Bilbo, this is Laker Town.

tumblr_mj195mMebr1qejqwno1_500

The Lakers are not the Lakers anymore.  And it’s time to just come to accept their ill-fated existence.

tumblr_mns2qeBUBF1rmj6o1o4_500

Did it all start with the death of Jerry Buss? When Buss died in Feb 2013, an aura of invincibility died with him, and the family’s ensuing efforts to imitate his giant footsteps, instead of forging their own path in basketball’s new era, have resulted only in embarrassment and defeat.

giphy

Or is it all Kobe’s fault?  Kobe Bryant has always been that guy for the Lakers. But now, the tides have turned and they have turned to the absolute worst if we are starting to blame our once beloved player.  Can’t blame a guy for experiencing the inevitable.

BhT1nKz

Being a Laker fan is tough these days. But a true fan will accept reality and roll with the punches. So what comes with acceptance, comes remorse.  Depressing as f*ck remorse and, at times, outrage.

tumblr_nfwlqxsnAW1rdhesho1_500

4pwmz6

James-Van-Der-Beek-Crying-On-Dawsons-Creek-Gif

giphy

But somebody will have to pay……

large

Haters Gonna Hate

The NBA Finals has finally come down to two teams. The creams of the crop. The picks of the litter. [Insert any “absolute best” cliches here].

The Golden State Warriors are taking on the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Curry vs. James.  Cute Kid Riley vs. Receding Hair Line.

lebron-aging

So who do you think is going all the way?  Well, that should be easy to answer. Just ask yourself this: Who do you want to see raising that golden trophy? Who do you want to send to Disney World?

635660485836917199-2015-04-30-NBA-trophy

Steph Curry, no question!  Lebron already has two championship wins, every endorsement deal known to man and has ESPN in the palm of his hand…why should we give this Space Jam wannabe a chance for his sweat band to be retired in the NBA Hall of Fame?

I know what you are thinking? “Why do you hate Lebron so much?”

You know why? Because haters gonna hate, and I am a true hater of Lebron.

toastlebronMINI

The guy is a walking “BUY ME” billboard, a man who is so hated he has his own website http://ihatelebronjames.com/.

(Granted the website hasn’t been recently updated. Probably because the hostility and hate just runs so deep that the website owner’s violent typing made his computer internally combust into flames)

esq-exploding-computer-072111-lg

Now that is true hate.

It’s not that I hate Lebron, the man himself, it’s that I hate “the man, the myth, the legend” the media perpetuates and worships. Now that is something you can entirely blame on Lebron. Yes he is only doing his job, a job of god-given talent that anybody would kill for but doesn’t he have any shred of integrity or credibility to just say no to the media, the sponsorships and the attention?

NvbOGZm

Someone needs to teach this goon about modesty. Next up, Lebron Tampons: time to get that thick-ass sweat band protection ladies!

headband

All of the credit and ball-sucking attention Lebron receives from ESPN is just nauseating. There must be some undisclosed contract where he pays ESPN for his unbearably large amount of air time and mentions.  This just in at ESPN – “Let’s see what Lebron thinks of the Masters! According to his Twitter, he tweets: “Yo Tiger Woods, where you at?”

USATSI_8470255-836x590

I don’t think any athlete can compare to his obscene level of overexposure.  Well, maybe Peyton Manning.

manning-sprintx-large

With the millions of dollars he makes daily (yes DAILY), doesn’t he have enough money to feed Russia? You would think that but no, he probably doesn’t. I mean that lavish lifestyle doesn’t pay for itself.

tumblr_mf6zx17rxP1qm6tzso1_500

And now that Lebron is back with the Cavaliers, an unnecessary spectacle of itself, ESPN will stop at nothing to see him holding that golden basketball trophy for a third time, a shining beacon of hope that the hero can return to his hometown and achieve the possible.  YES the possible, this is Lebron we are talking about.

lebronsmirk2

The real culprit here is ESPN.  But who the hell is going to hate ESPN, the almighty giver of worldwide sports and beloved top 10!

espn-top-10-o

That being said. Go Warriors, the rightful winners who have no players sucking on ESPN’s proverbial teet. Steph Curry has yet to become a tainted spokesperson of soul-less commerce, so there is still time for his pure talent to take him all the way, all the way to get that golden trophy.

stephcurrycrossover

Plus, his daughter is just too cute to pass up.

untitled-12