If You’re a Real Football Fan, You Should Be Rooting for Carson

Mr. Carson Palmer. The man, the myth, the almost legend.

It has taken Palmer 13 seasons just to reach this kind of postseason success.  And now he is here, ready to take it for all he’s got!

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Palmer, a 2002 Heisman trophy winner while at USC, has pretty much undergone one of the most tumultuous NFL careers any quarterback has even experienced,  a career plagued by injury after injury. Aside from him tearing his ACL TWICE, he’s suffered 6 additional injuries that has put him on the bench.  Sad face.

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His second ACL tear happened when he was 34.  See this is when we would either shoot good ol’ Seabiscuit or sell him to the glue factory.

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But no….Carson soldiered on. Even though the odds were never in his favor.

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He just turned 36, an age the NFL would usually deem ancient for their athletes. He is on an NFL team that has only made one Super Bowl appearance on February 1, 2009. Sadly, they lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers, 27-23. Before we knew the rapist’s true intentions…..

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I mean christ, the game was played in Tampa.  Nothing comes good outta of Tampa.

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Carson is a true stand-up guy.  Even when his team is losing, he still manages to fist-bump the refs on the field.  Great jobs guys!

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He is definitely in the running for winning MVP this season, with the Cardinals‘ offense ranking first in points per game, yards per game and third-down percentage.  Perhaps most impressively, Arizona has more touchdowns (57) than punts (55) this season.  BAD-ASS.

Even when other players won’t help him up, he doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

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And he is a full supporter of “Movember.”  Gotta love a man who can fully grow facial hair while fashionably supporting something as gross as butt cancer.

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Carson Palmer is all kinds of awesome, clearly.  He has just never received the recognition he fully deserves from the NFL.  This is his year to prove to all those that never believed he would fully recover from all his injuries that he is the BUSINESS,  that he is the best quarterback in the league, that he truly deserves to be MVP, that he and the Arizona Cardinals are good enough to go and WIN the Super Bowl.

You got this Carson.  You’re a Trojan. You are Awesome. You are the real MVP.

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Well, Mrs. Durant certainly is….but now it’s your time to shine Carsey !!

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2016 Trojans: Should auld acquaintance be forgot?

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Well, it was a good season.  The boys played tough….somewhat, but you have to hand it to them….this year for the USC Trojans was anything but smooth.

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The removal of their head coach, the almost loss of their athletic director, the naming of their new head coach and the debut of ESPN’s 30 for 30: Trojan War.  Good yet sad….very sad documentary that made us remember just how infuriated we all felt when the dynasty fell into the depths of nothing.

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Last night’s Pac-12 Championship game against Standford wasn’t the best for good ol’ SC.  Granted the refs were completely calling the game with their eyes closed and JuJu might as well had a bullseye on his back. Yes it was an entertaining game up until the end of the third quarter but it wasn’t the way the Trojans were supposed to end their season. In fact, it was better.

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Considering all the distressing circumstances the Trojans faced all season coupled with the loss of a whopping 4 games, winning a ticket to the Pac-12 Championship game is impressive……most impressive.

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And being able to actually say FUCLA with gusto…

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However, no team has faced that amount of loss and went to the championship game. Well, no team outside the amazing Pac-12 Conference.

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Even though this last season wasn’t the prettiest, it shouldn’t be forgotten and will hopefully serve as a catalyst for next season = ULTIMATE DOMINATION.

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Will Los Doyers Win The World Series?

The hunt for October is on like Donkey Kong.

But will our beloved Dodgers make it through?  It seems like the past couple of years have been so promising for our Boys in Blue.  Unfortunately, they fail to make it out alive in the playoffs, leaving their fair weathered city disgruntled and saddened.  And let me tell you, LA is a city not known for its wallowing.

But perhaps this could be the year.  If the Dodgers do win, LA will be LA. Cop cars beware.

A fan celebrates outside the  Staples Center with a large cut out of Shaquille O'Neal as a news vehicle burns after the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Indiana Pacers in Game 6 of the NBA Finals  Monday, June 19, 2000 in Los Angeles. A celebration of the Lakers' first championship in 12 years deteriorated into mayhem as hundreds of fans torched two police cars, vandalized businesses and set dozens of small bonfires in streets. (AP Photo/Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, Stan Lim) ORG XMIT: CAONT106

A fan celebrates outside the Staples Center with a large cut out of Shaquille O’Neal as a news vehicle burns after the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Indiana Pacers in Game 6 of the NBA Finals Monday, June 19, 2000 in Los Angeles. A celebration of the Lakers’ first championship in 12 years deteriorated into mayhem as hundreds of fans torched two police cars, vandalized businesses and set dozens of small bonfires in streets. 

Here are my top 5 reasons why the Dodgers may make it out alive.

1.Greinke and Kershaw

Greinke is having his best season as a Dodger and has arguably been just as effective as he was in his 2009 Cy Young season.  Greinke’s stats are completely ridiculous, a 1.71 ERA, fueled by a 45-inning scoreless streak, along with a 2.62 FIP, walking batters at a career-best rate of 4.7 % and has only given up eight home runs in 152.1 innings.  Thank you Sports Center.

Kershaw is known to somewhat slump in the postseason but maybe this time around he will find his competitive rhythm.

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2. Justin Turner

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The ginger has risen.  This year Turner has received a starting role by leading the team with a 167 wRC+ (and that means for us non-sport addicts weighted runs created, a rate statistic that attempts to credit a hitter for the value of each outcome, which can be a single/double/triple, rather than treating all hits or times on base equally).  Jesus, people that play fantasy baseball must have watched a Beautiful Mind way too many times.

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3. Adrian Gonzalez

He is having a pretty good season.  And come on, that at-bat intro?  You can’t go wrong

4. The Odds

If you ever find yourself in Vegas in the next few weeks, the odds of the Dodgers making it to the World Series is 15/2, courtesy of Bovada.lv.  That means if you bet $5 on the Dodgers to go all the way, you will win $75. Not too shabby if all you buy in Vegas is a keychain.  Better make that bet on the Cubs.
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5.  Tommy Lasorda

He is always a reason.

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Homeboy hangs out with Magic Johnson in the stands. The Dodgers can’t go wrong!

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Today is the DAY

I am feeling all the FEELS today!

giphyZYxBDZ9giphyBecause today is the day that the 2015 College Football season kicks off.  Oh man. At the beginning of every season, I am always filled with such hope and excitement for the games to come, the players to watch, guessing what will unfold and, like a true college football fan, follow your team till the bitter end….or winning end if you are a Buckeye.

Who knows what will happen, but for now, I shall relish in this moment of hopeful positivity and elation.

Here is to a happy season everybody!

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The Best Part About The NFL Draft

Guess who is not going to be a top pick in the upcoming NFL Draft?  Wait, wait….I’m being a bit hasty now.  Let’s go through who will be the top 10 picks in the 2015 draft.

1. Mr. Mature

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2. Duck Man

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3. Not Aaron Hernandez

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4. Run Forest. Run.

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5. Hercules

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6. Cool Hand Luke

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7. Stanford Sucks

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8. The Kentucky Derby

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9. Ring Ring. Hello? Is Anybody Home?

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10. Tony Montana’s Bodyguard

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So who is not in the top 10……?!

Mr. I Tend To Fall A lot and Cry

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Love it 🙂

Do Women and Sports Mix?

We would like to think women and sports go together like peanut butter and jelly 😛 Might be a bit more complicated than that. It’s like what Smither’s said to Mr. Burns,”Women and Seamen don’t mix.” Ha, maybe not really.

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Women and sports have a very interesting and at times depressing relationship. With all of the controversy surrounding Ray Rice’s less than harsh punishment for hitting his wife versus the San Antonio Spurs hiring the first woman assistant coach, it’s unavoidable to question the “real” place women have in sports. There are several different sports that have a separate women’s leagues: WNBA, Softball, Soccer, Golf, Hockey.  And who can forget, lingerie football.  Kidding, kidding.

Of course the manliness sport has to have women play in their underwear……

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These women leagues have yet to experience the success of the men’s leagues, and sadly, probably never will.  Why?  For one, they are not commercially viable in part because people may think watching women play sports is not be as exciting as the big boys and flat-out just don’t care.  If people cared, they would be lucrative markets and be broadcasted nationally.  The popularity of the National Soccer League lasted about as long as David Beckham’s screen time in Bend It Like Beckham, Softball ceases to exist in the Olympics, the WNBA is going to have to hitch hike overseas, The National Hockey League ended 7 years ago and Golf…..well, let’s be honest, who the hell watches golf?

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Despite these women leagues, women athletes do in fact dominate other sports. Unfortunately, those other sports suffer the stigma of being labeled very feminine and dainty, displaying a downright sexist outlook on these women athletes. I’m looking at you Gymnastics, Figure Skating, Synchronized Swimming and Ballet.  YES, ballet.  Ballet is badass.  Haven’t you seen Center Stage? Seriously, can you don’t see those ballet dance moves done by the frail and feeble.

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In typical sexist fashion, these ‘feminine’ sports are slapped with heavy makeup, tight bright spandex, blinding sequins and at times, just awful…awful music. Despite the feminine presentation, these women are badass athletes who work hard to jump 10 ft in the air, land that triple toe lutz, tread water for hours on end while starving themselves.  That sheer dedication and their athletic prowess is immensely admirable and shouldn’t be dumbed down by being too “gay” or “soft.”  Because they are far from it.

The only sport that I can think of where women experience the same level of popularity and success as men is Tennis.  Tennis has become one of the most popular international sports, boasting around 1 billion fans around Europe, the Americas and Asia. Yes the uniforms are a bit ridiculous but the athletic intensity remains the same.  Serena Williams’ athletic power alone probably scares the hell out of men in Compton.

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It’s sad to say, but the reality is that women and sports DO mix but make some sort of odd concoction that doesn’t tend to sit well with the general male public. Then again, you have the women who have left their permanent mark on the sport they played, coached, commentated or just even loved.

Pat Summit

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Danica Patrick

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Jeanie Buss

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The Williams sisters

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Linda Cohn

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The interesting takeaway from this diverse list of women in sports is that they all are influential, business savvy, and intelligent individuals, yet not all are athletes.  Can we say the same about men?

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Patt Summit is known as one of the greatest coaches of all time.  Danica Patrick defeated all the conservative odds and became the first popular woman race car driver to compete with the boys on the NASCAR track.  Jeannie Buss pretty much single handily runs the Los Angeles Lakers (one of the biggest brands in pro sports) with no thanks to her co-owner brother.  The Williams sisters have permanently made themselves tennis royalty.  Linda Cohn has been a witty sportscaster for over 20 years.

Men do run the sport, but it’s the women who make it interesting. A bold statement that may be.  Bold enough to piss off the boys 🙂

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In an ideal world, women would receive the same respect as men in every facet of life.  But they don’t.  And the sports world is no different, maybe even worse.  Women and sports do mix but takes a bit more effort on the women’s side to make it functional.  Hats off to the women who have and still are succeeding in sports, leaving their mark on a male dominated world.

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BTW: Screw Roger Goodell for slapping Ray Rice on the hands and Stephen A. Smith for saying “She had it coming.” Watch out boys, you may have it coming….

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UF-Come on over and mount me

I got the chance to catch the last two big UFC fights….you know UFC…where guys (and sometimes girls) are getting it on with each other’s fists?

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Let me tell you….the fights are wildly entertaining…i mean who doesn’t want to see someone get the SHIT kicked out of them.  Hello, Fight Club?  But just imagine Fight Club with 3X the fans, the cheers, the exposure, the awesome.   I think you are talking to the converted.

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The one aspect about the game…..do we call this a game?…….about the UFC sport is the homoeroticism involved.  Since this is so regular boxing match, other fighting techniques are allowed and highly encouraged, to take down your opponent in 3-5 rounds.  This unique mix of fighting skills and discipline can do the trick, to name a few….like Jeet Kune Do, Sanshou, Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  Damn.  That’s a lot of syllables.

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A lot of these fighting techniques involve wrestling, leg wrap arounds, squatting thrusts….should i go on?  No, i get it.  Wrestling itself is very homoerotic with those tight leaving nothing to the imagination leotards and the obvious fighting moves.  But with UFC, the more and more popular it gets, the more and more exposure this fighting style receives, thus making this homoerotic fighting really cool in the eyes of millions.

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After watching a couple of fights, it is pretty cool to witness the awesome intensity, masculinity and straight up beat downs some of these fools get.  SO ask yourself this….with the dramatic surge in UFC popularity leaving bars standing room only on Saturday night fights and the mainstream broadcast thanks to FOX…..is this style of homoerotic fighting going to permeate into everyday life.  Good GOD I hope so.

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Can you imagine?

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Bar Brawls, Throwdowns, Rumbles, Gang hootenanies…..all would start incorporating these fighting tactics, making every confrontation a possible UFC show.  Awesome.  I would just feel bad for the profesional UFC fighters because when Joe Smoes start embracing your fighting style….it would kind of decrease your level of BadAss.  They just wouldn’t seem as cool when BuBa down the block can take out a legit UFC fighter with one Jiu Jitsu move.    Still, the world would be a much more entertaining place…..

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Armstrong vs. Te’o, Cheater vs. MEAT HEAD

What is with athletes these days?  The cheating, the lying, being plain stupid……the list goes on.  We could blame the media because they sure as hell aren’t helping theses blown out of proportion situations.  Case in point: Lance Armstrong and Manti T’eo.  Both have recently come out to the media explaining their not so subtle developing situations of deceit.  And to top it all off, they both went on syndicated talk shows to pour their hearts out, possibly shed a few tears and experience some sort of redemption or confessional release for the public.  Katie Couric……Oprah.    Who interviewed the better athlete?  Who is the better talk show host?  Who the mofo cares?    Well, this sports fan finds it intriguingly idiotic yet enticing.  Come on people, this is the downfall of our species!

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Common Sense seems to be thrown right out the door with these guys.  But hey, they are professional athletes in the spot-light, they are untouchable right?  WRONG.  Liars are liars and should never get away with it.  Boy, did they get away with it.  At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that Manti Te’o’s situation is a bit lighter in guilt than Armstrong’s.  Which is why I think Armstrong went on Oprah, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  In his first public appearance since his confession, of course he is only coming out to the big time tv talk show mogul….who just manages to bring out the cry baby in everyone….well except Barbara Walters.  But that bitch on The View…yea right Armstrong be coming out on the View being subjected to 5 women’s ridicule and sass.  Hell No.  Let him hang on to the only ball he has left ladies.

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Armstrong’s Oprah interview was anything but moving.  Oprah asked all the right questions but his answers were bleak and a bit banal.  The only ounce of emotion that was felt was Oprah’s question about his LIVEStrong company, millions and millions of invested money down the drain.  He seemed a bit down losing the bling bling, even though he will still be living on easy street the rest of his life.  Which is why I felt nothing during this interview.  The guy flat-out cheated and lied about his situation so I felt no remorse or sympathy for the cyclist.  But I understand the public’s need for confirmation.  We know what he did.  We just want to know WHY he did it and persisted to LIE about it, calling the investigation a “witch hunt.”  More importantly, why did he continue to attack his teammates and journalists who were trying to expose the truth…the truth shall set you free Lance.  It seems like he lied to everybody and to be honest, I think we all deserve an apology, especially his fans……and maybe France.  Send France a gift basket of McDonald French Fries, they will love it.  It would have been awesome on Oprah if he stepped it up and apologized, admit his responsibility for falsely attacking others, and for turning an entire decade of his sport into a worldwide mockery.  This decorated mythical athlete literally put cycling on the map while pissing off one of the USA’s bitchy and whiney allies…it was a win-win situation for America.  I wish there was more discussion of his family.  Gotta give it up to the guy for admitting that throughout this entire controversy, the hardest part was telling his children.  Now THAT I believe.

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What did you want Armstrong to say on Oprah?

 

 

 

Manti Te’o’s story on the other hand is straight up ridiculous and continues to get more ridiculous by the second.  This is truly the most bizarre stories in sports history, simply because of the whole fake girlfriend thing was an essential part of Te’o’s growing legend.  At this point my only question is why Katie Couric?  Katie Couric makes the most random distracting facial expressions while interviewing.  The batting of the eyes, the pursing of the lips, the flip of the hair…..I can’t stand that.  You think Te’o is going to confess his stupidity to twitchy turrets avon lady?  Well, he did.  The Te’o interview was more of a laugher than Armstrong only because his outrageously ludicrous situation.   Katie asked all the right questions, with her (in)voluntary facial expressions, but I still couldn’t take it seriously.  I would have taken a Te’o press conference more seriously….plus his family there.  Oh no.  Come on Te’o your a big boy, going to get drafted to the NFL soon….come on man, giving your future team mates more reason to haze ur mormon ass, you  are already going to get eaten alive once you hit the locker room.  DUDE

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There are endless questions for Te’o, more intriguing and head scratching questions that we may perhaps never answer.  Such as: If he wasn’t involved in the hoax, how does he explain a report that he met her after a game at Stanford? What about those trips his father said she took to Hawaii? At what point did Te’o suspect Lennay Kekua might not actually exist? When did he know for certain? Why didn’t he ever try to visit with her, or even see her face via Skype? Why did he keep the hoax alive when he knew it to be false? Why did he allow Notre Dame and his family to keep the story alive?  He never met this bitch and claimed she was the ‘love of his life.’  UGH.  The real questions I would want to ask this Meat Head is about his integrity….about his decorated fame….does he think he deserves it?  With this story in mind, do you think the media blew it out of proportion?  Did you enjoy the ride?  Do you think you deserved to be nominated for the Heisman despite the fact that you aren’t the most talented LB college football has seen?  Do you feel like your story cheated the public and the sports world? Now THAT would have been an awesome interview.

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We love to hear confessionals.  We are soo entertained by lies and drama that I think we sometimes forget that people’s lives are on the line, on the chopping block fasho.  The only reason I found Te’os interview more entertaining is because of his story.  Armstrong’s story is less interesting and just straight up selfish.  He could have stopped taking PEDs at any time.  He swindled many investors, lost millions of dollars and lied to his devoted fans, thus forever damaging American cycling.  Hope he is happy.  Te’o is still a kid in the eyes of many people, which is why many want to sympathize and feel for the Meat Head.  Is his sheltered lifestyle and religion to blame for his gullibility?  Who knows but I know Oprah would have gotten down to business with the Meat Head. Te’o is the one who should be on Oprah for some counseling and a group hug. Imagine the ratings coup when the tough linebacker with the trusting face confesses his vulnerabilities in a teary prime-time special. Plus that tacky banner in the background in the Katie studio…..seriously?  We know Te’o is speaking because he is on the show Katie.  I guess Te’o’s DUMB is wearing off.

Oprah for the win.

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Big City, Big Money, Big Talent, Big Problems

Who knows what the hell is going on with LA sports, considering a majority of the classic hometown teams are in disarray.  Sorry Clippers, you didn’t make the cut because you are the only team not sucking ass right now….and seriously who is a Clipper fan?

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I just don’t get these crazy lucrative contracts to get players to come to the big city.  Wait, maybe I do.  But then again, I don’t.  Whatever happened to plucking players from farm teams, the minor leagues, college teams and walk-ons?  What happened to teams nurturing and helping players grow into strong athletes?

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I guess it all started for me with big boy slugger Albert Pujols and his deal with the Anaheim Angels, a 10-deal for $250 million dollars and then some with the perks and bonuses.  WTF dude, I know you have 5 latino babies but DAYYyuuum.  The MLB had to come out and publicly address the ridiculousness of this deal, stating that there is now going to be a spending limit on players’ contracts.  Whooopee. The next was the Doyers crazy blockbuster deal, a deal worth over $265 million dollars, with the Boston Red Sox, sending pitcher Josh Beckett, first baseman Adrian Gonzalez and outfielder Carl Crawford to the Doyers.  Now Zack Greinke’s $158 million dollar for 6 six years is just insane, dude is 30 years old.  That doesn’t seem old but in sports, it is.  Hello, paging the farm leagues…?

It seemed that the ailing Lakers team had to follow the MLB trend of big spending with Steve Nash, a 38-year-old superstar point guard from Phoenix, and Dwight Howard, best center in the NBA from Orlando.  Seriously,  with all the drama they put themselves through with their bottomless purse, the Lakers are in for some hard times…….and it’s not even mid-season.  Dang, LA…..the city of angels just turned into Scrooge McDuck, diving into a pool of gold coins and swimming in wealth. Duck Tails…..Wooo Hoooo.Scrooge-in-gold-coins

Maybe it has to do with the awesomeness that is Los Angeles.  The size and popularity of the city is bound to ignite some drama in every entertainment facet, dude it’s the ENTERTAINMENT CAPITAL of the world.  Los Angeles is starving for more and more newsworthy entertainment because here we are just so spoiled and saturated in gossip, no matter where it comes from.  Sports don’t have a chance of escaping the clutches of LA.  Look what happened to Kobe and his not so fun let’s take advantage of a woman trial?  You think that shiz would have went down the same if he were on the Charlotte Bobcats?  How about Matt Kemp banging Rihanna?  You think those shenanigans would happen is he were on the Minnesota Twins?  Yea…not so much.  You grab dat ass Matty!

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But how many of these lucrative contracts are really paying off?  The only decent payoff would probably be Pujols on the Angels.  The dude hit 30+ home runs but didn’t take the team to a World Series his first season.  Hey, it’s only his first season.  Angels just picked up Josh Hamilton for a butt load of money too, fool is 31 years old getting a $125 million dollars for 5 years.  Dude is crack addict?  Really?!   The Dodgers…..that’s just too depressing to talk about.  The Lakers, well that remains to be seen.

Truly the most tragic part about the greed in LA sports is the sacrifice of players.  It is so rare to see players now a days stay with one team their entire career.  We rarely get to see a player be loved and adored by his city, grow up and become a part of a family, become a part of the city.  Superstars aren’t even immune.  Look at Albert Pujols from St. Louis.  Didn’t he have a restaurant in the heart of St. Louis?  Said he would DIE a Cardinal?  That quickly changed. He picked up and left right after he won a World Series following the millions and millions of dollars that LA flashed before his very eyes.  Steve Nash was the best thing to happen to the Phoenix Suns while Dwight Howard was selected by the Orlando Magic in the 2004 NBA draft.  No professional athlete feels like they can stay if they feel like they deserve more money for their talent.  City love just ain’t what it used to be 😦

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Sports is a business and needs to make money. DUH.  Gambling big can mean winning big, I get that. What we also have to get is it makes BIG PROBLEMS.  It’s not rocket science.  I just can’t get past the loss of the nostalgia and innocence that sports used to hold dear.  As time goes on, the greed in sports is showing no signs of slowing down as long as athletes will continue to follow the money and not follow their hearts.  Does love have a price tag? In LA, there is a price, it’s just a ridiculously crazy Vatican spending HIGH.   Isn’t that sad?  I feel like I don’t want to accept that but it’s true.  Is there still that good we once loved in sports?  Am I just being a spoiled LA sports fan?  Who the mofo knows.  If you do know, please come talk to me.  Maybe I’ll buy you a taco.

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