It’s Do or Die

Do or Die Dodgers……Do Or Die…..

Let’s just hope none of us look like Puig in this picture after today’s game…..no tears in LA today!  (please GOD……..)

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America’s Present Time

America’s Present Time

Another day, another scandal of PED use in the MLB.  Your typical baseball day in the good old US of A right?.  How sad is it that I can write that without any remorse, without so much as a flinch in my fingertips?

SteroidsThe MLB has been plagued with PED users and scandal since BIG Mac and Sammy Sosa were battling it out in the 1998 Home run race.  Some would even say the biggest blow from this steroid era is the lack of punishment from upper management.  Yea, that’s right Bud Selig, you haven’t done shizzz to help ameliorate the situation.  (I dare not say “solve’ because this problem will never be solved the rate its going). You really think a suspension is getting through these balloon heads?  Or are the millions and millions of dollars not burning enough in your pockets?

The biggest, perhaps hugest, BLOW to the game isn’t the players, isn’t the business, it’s heart.  This never-ending steroid era has sucked out everything what was once good in the game, the game we love to call our “Pastime.”

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But is it still “America’s Pastime?”  Never once has the thought crossed my minds that “America’s Pastime” may no longer be “America’s Pastime.” A game now filled with players, players we trusted and adored that are tearing down the heart and soul of a game with lies and deceit, a game we cherish and love so much in this country. A country’s beloved sport that was proudly built upon the freedom, hard work and independence of the common man is now a sport we can no longer look to for future comfort, only in its rich past of players breaking records in an honest good-hearted fashion.

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The real beauty behind the sport of Baseball is what it represents to every American, to the country:  It is US.  (Hahaha United States, get it?).  What we were, what we are and what we want to become.  America is Baseball.  Baseball has grown with the country and has seen it through thick and thin, good and bad, giving Americans comfort during times of national hardship and loss, evoking more nostalgia among Americans than any other sport, a democratic sport played by the common man, by US.  So when one of US betrays the trust of the entire country, there is unfortunately damage that can’t be undone.

(What went wrong Roger Maris, what went wrong??)

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So here is the million dollar question: Is the pure innocence of the sport forever lost?  Can we ever get back to our pastime?

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In all honesty, probably not.  When situations like Ryan Braun and A-rod emerge, we can only hang our heads in shame and hope for a better tomorrow for Baseball because this is no longer taboo, it is the norm.  PEDs are the norm.  What the hell…..

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The only thing we can do is truly shame those players that lie and cheat the sport, the players who are making our nation’s sport a mockery, ultimately making the country a mockery.  This sucks……

As a baseball fan, all you can do is hope for the best in these type of situations and as the Ken Burns ‘Baseball’ Documentary says in the concluding 10th inning series, ‘We move forward.’  As Americans, we move forward and try to remember all that was good in the game….and still is.

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There are still players out there who are honest, forthright….and don’t take freakin’ PEDs to play the game well, who remind us that Baseball is still America’s sport despite all the selfish (and stupid) actions of some players.

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We love Baseball and we will never let it slip away from our fingers.  So Bud Selig, get it together…kick out those players who test positive for those Hercules drugs, strip away those players any awards or recognitions they have received during their PED use and shame them.  Shaming a baseball player and forever taking away the game he has loved since he was a child is punishment enough.

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A-hole tearing himself a new one

The more and more information trickling down to the masses about Alex Rodriguez and his use of PEDs, the more and more you wish that Centaur Portrait of himself is still hung in his bedroom.  This big ass third baseman is at it again, first his lack of post season play and now deceit.

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Alex Rodriguez of the celebrated New York Yankees has been accused of using PEDS again. And now the Yankees want OUT of his lucrative contract…what they owe him like $114 million or something?  Yeesh.  Good one guys.  Now apparently he is going to rehabilitation for the drugs?!  Hah, just kidding. The fool had hip surgery and is in need of some rehabilitation if he wants to play baseball, let alone walk, again.  The Yankees estimated with the right rehabilitation, A-hole can return before the All-Star Break.

??????????????????????????????  So who is this Anthony Bosch character?  The guy supposedly injected A-hole the drugs at his Miami home after A-hole came out of the closet and admitted to his past use of steroids to the public.  I wouldn’t be surprised if A-hole did in fact take the steroids and would lie about it.  But has he necessarily lied about it?  He hasn’t even come out with a statement yet.  What do his teammates have to say about this debacle?

 

 

“I don’t comment on anyone until they speak first. Let him address his situation before I comment on it. Let him speak first and then we’ll talk about that,” Derek Jeter said when asked about A-hole.  He has a point.  A-hole has yet to discuss this matter with the public.  He has already discussed his past use of PEDs but not this recent development, leaving us only in speculation and assumption.  th

 

 

 

Shit, Jeter broke his ankle last season and is expected to start in New York’s opener against Boston on April 1, the greatest day of the year.  I am fully aware that hip surgery is quite different from fixing a broken ankle, but Jeter is 38 years old, where is this short stop getting his awesomeness?  Needless to say, Jeter is a better player than A-hole and hasn’t been sucking ass in the post season.

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Fool should just retire.  It’s already well beyond his golden years and they way he has been playing lately he will definitely not go out with a BANG….more like a SPLAT on his Zoolander Blue Steel wanna be face.  A-hole still has 5 years left on his contract!  That is insane!  I don’t know why he would try and come back and play.  It seems like nobody wants him too anyways.  In the light of these allegations, A-hole should just bow out and take comfort in the fact that he will be paid a hefty sum to do so.  Who knows, maybe he will miraculously recover and start looking younger while his Centaur self-portrait collects dust in his attic.  Watch out Dorian Gray.

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Cheaters can suck it

It’s that time of year again!   If you are one of the 600 lucky Baseball Writers Association voters, you get a whopper of a choice of who gets the honor of being inducted into the Baseball Hall Of Fame.  In my personal opinion, the BEST Hall Of Fame.

The steroids funky bunch, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and Sammy Sosa, are listed on the hall of fame ballot fo the first time, setting up an election which fasho will mandate on the steroids era.  How sad is that?  Wow,  now we have to say “steroids Era.”  I guess everything has a dark side.  Who would be Darth Vadar?  I mean Clemens got that dark quality but Bonds is soo much bigger than he is….and is already black. Hard to say…..  Sosa is too nice a guy to be apart of the galactic empire.  Sosa would just be an evil spanish speaking Yoda.

 

 

 

 

I know it makes sense to put Bonds, Clemens and Sosa on the ballot because they were great players, broke records, made history…..but had a bit of illegal help.  They all took performance enhancing drugs and got caught.  The only one to come clean about it was Sammy Sosa, the other two are still in denial.  Fat heads….literally.  The key word here is “performance enhancing,” meaning their performance on the field was not their own, it is being illegally aided and boosted them into record breaking heights, records that shouldn’t be counted, performances that shouldn’t be considered.

I mean, it is a 37 player ballot.  The voters got lots to choose from.  But it is inevitable that voters will consider one of these three steroid players because in reality, they kinda sorta want to vote for them.  It’s hard not to take into consideration what they did on the field.  Bonds is the all-time home run champion with 762 and won a record of 7 MVP awards.  Clemens set a record with 7 Cy Young awards while Sosa hit 609 home runs.  Voters are facing a moral dilemma now aren’t they?  They have to decide whether drugs, well to some “drug allegations,” that tainted their big numbers should keep them out of Cooperstown.

Hey Mike Piazza is on the ballot.  My favorite Dodger and first home run.  So magical, and so without drugs.  Vote for him!

 

 

 

 

This steroid discussion was inevitable because there was a “steroid era” where a handful of the MLB’s greatest players were in fact taking steroids and breaking records.  Before anyone knew anything about their drug use, we baseball fans gobbled it all up like a hungry hungry hippos, loving the idea of it, the idea that we felt like we were apart of some great sports history.  But then when the questions start coming in, questions about drugs and wrong doing, that is when we retract and start to question the integrity of the game.  A vicious cycle, a cycle that American Baseball is now headed.  Well look at that, it’s already here!

If players who use steroids can get elected in the Baseball Hall Of Fame, then can we start talking about Pete Rose?  Even though he is permanently on the ineligible list for his addictive gambling ways, his performance on the field wasn’t artificially enhanced.  Pete was a great player and unfortunately allowed his gambling lifestyle seep into his professional baseball career.  Why would the Baseball Hall Of Fame induct some players who flat-out cheated their way into the record books than a player who just bet on the record books?  Baseball a funny business ain’t it.

Performance enhancing drugs will always be a thorn in the side of Baseball, despite Baseball trying to rid itself of the stigma.  They aren’t going to rid themselves of it if they induct these three in the Hall Of Fame.  Nobody should ever celebrate cheating.  We have elected leaders and generals for that messy doing.  Voters shouldn’t give out the highest honor in Baseball to those who cheated.  Man, I love baseball, it IS America’s sport.  Why would we ever want to question the integrity of America’s past time?  Baseball has been the one traditional sport that has remained the sport of the common man and the pure hearted.  I know many don’t consider baseball as a special or important a sport as some do.  They clearly haven’t watched Ken Burns awesome possum Baseball Documentary >:0      But it’s the little things that make it special and those little things don’t involve cheating and drugs.

Here is hoping voters will make the right decision.  Come on mofos, u know what to do, don’t break our hearts now.

The results will be announced Jan. 9…sHHOoooOOOOOooot.  Betta be a happy new years.

Paging Big Gay AL

I don’t want to be the bully but someone HAS to say it.  WTF is happening to the the Miami Marlins?!?!?!

First they are introduced as the Miami Marlins, no longer the Florida Marlins, singling out the rest of the Southern Swamp, but hey Miami is the only really important city in the state, right?  Then the team comes out with these hideous butt ugly uniforms with the new rainbow logo.  Rainbow.  When you think of a Rainbow and  all its glorious colors…..what thoughts enter your mind….?  Well there is skittles “taste the rainbow,” Rainbow Brite saving the world from gray and darkness, and then there is the universal flag for the homosexual community, gay pride.  

I am sorry.  But COME ON.  How can you not think of the gay community looking at the Rainbow Marlin’s logo.  M is for males, as in gay males.  If that doesn’t convince you, just take a look out into center field in their brand new state of the rainbow art stadium.

Seriously that attraction belongs in Big Gay AL’s Boat Ride in South Park.  The colors, the water, the animals….GOOD GOD, who approved such a catastrophe?!  HMMMMmmmm catastrophe is such a harsh word, perhaps mistake…..or just fugly piece of art?  Maybe the Marlins will love it and every household in Miami will own and display a similar contraption in their front  yards come X-mas.  Then again, just google the phrase, “What happened to the Miami Marlins?!” and the big old fat picture of this center field piece of “art” will appear first.  Whatever, I am calling center field Big Gay AL.  

Ughhhhh why?!  I love the old Florida Marlins logo with the badass Marlin and that cool combination of light green and black.  It was so unique, nobody else in the league could come close.  It kinda looks like a Long John Silver’s endorsement for a new Marlin sandwich, but hey, I am just letting myself get distracted from the issue.  The issue is that the Florida Marlins were a unique team with a unique mascot.  Well the Miami Marlins got a whole lotta more “unique” headed their way this season.

Who knows?  Maybe the Miami Marlins will make a huge splash and be such a ginormous success in the MLB,  going against all odds by winning games and producing outstanding talent, the club might be able to have their center field Big Gay AL ride retired in the Baseball Hall Of Fame.  Miami Marlins, be the Rainbow.  Look out Cooperstown……the Miami Marlins are here to stay.

Holler Back Magic

I know, I know, it’s been at least a week since Magic and three other rich ass fools bought the Doyers for 2 billion dollars but this Angelino had to give her input on the matter.

Is Magic Johnson a perfect fit for the Doyers?  I would think most of us down in LA would say a big fat “YES!” ShooOOOooOoot.   The only downside is that the deal didn’t throw McCourt out of LA.  The bastard still owns the surrounding parking lots, in hopes to erect a mall in center field.  Blow me McCourt.  Nobody in LA wants you, let alone shop in your god forsaken parking lot mall.  Now we are gonna have mall cops running around in their segways and weapon of choice (they ain’t gonna get the normal mall cop plastic clubs, oh no…..this is Doyer stadium, they best be given the hard shizzz). Just what Doyer Stadium needs, more Cops.

 

 

 

 

Now, back to the good stuff.  Magic is already all over LA from greasy Fat Burger restaurants, sketchy Movie Theaters, the glorious Staples Center, and now America’s past time: Baseball bitches!

 

This time around,  everyone is going BLUE.  And that is a very comforting thought for Los Angeles.  It’s hard to not think about the money, only 2 billion dollars, but Johnson is approaching the business deal as something more to the basketball legend, “”The Dodgers are my next big thing. This is not just millions of my money, this is dear to my heart. This is bringing back the brand for the people of Los Angeles.”

“When I first got to town [in 1979], the Dodgers were on Page 1 of the L.A. Times and the Lakers were on Page 3,” Johnson said. “I’ve seen how the Dodgers can be as big as the Lakers, and I want that to happen again.”

Well the Lake Show ain’t making the headlines like they used to and aren’t making any positive moves to even see the light of day. Mitch Kupchack is running the team into the ground.  Clipper nation anybody?  But it would be nice to see some actual Dodger news on the front page that didn’t involve Frank McCourt’s stupid ugly face.  

 

The Dodgers hold such a dear place in not just the heart of Los Angeles and die-hard baseball fans alike, but more importantly to American history.    The Dodger franchise is home to Jackie Robinson, the first African-American player to enter the game, not only breaking the league’s racial barriers and baseball records but more importantly helped ignite the Civil Rights movement in this country.   The Dodgers were also one of the first teams to expand to the (Best) West Coast, making baseball a more influential and popular game that they entire country can relish in.  Hey, the East Coast can’t hog all the fun!

Baseball is American History.  American History is Baseball.  It is the sport that evokes the most nostalgia among Americans than any other sport.  It is such a democratic game, where all the participants can be the average weight and height to play the game.  Not these gargantuan sasquatches in football or tall mofos in basketball, baseball has average joe smoes running around the field and swinging the bats.   Although football seems like it was, and still is, on the verge of replacing baseball as the American pastime, it never will.  Baseball is sacred and should never be messed with fools!  Los Angeles is thankful to have Magic and his rich buddies buy the city’s (even one of the country’s) most beloved baseball franchise because nobody wants to lose their American pastime.

No longer your precious now Biatch!

Apparently everybody wants a piece of Los Doyers. Magic Johnson, Mark Cuban, Peter’Omalley, Joe Torre…..the list goes on.  There were more than 10 opening bids for the team on the January 23rd deadline.

Bidders are supposedly considering partnerships not only to pool money but to enhance the expertise among groups by pairing, like Magic Johnson with a smarty pants financier or a richer than Jesus investment banker with a Sports Executive.  Best of Both World si?  Anybody but Frank McCourt who drove the Doyers franchise to the ground.

(Well except the introduction of the Mexican Doyer dog in concession stands.  I haven’t had it yet but god damn…..it sounds freakin’ delicious)  

Doesn’t that look orgasmically delicious?!?!  Ugh i want one now.  Something to look forward to in April fasho.

Outgoing Owner, aka the spawn of satan, Frank McCourt is expecting the Doyers to sell for at least $1.5 billion.  SHOOOOooooOOoot.  The Doyers are a BILLION dollar franchise?!  No freaking way.  Will that be enough for Frank McCourt to get the hell outta LA and stay out for good?   Sadly, it doesn’t sound like it.   The spawn of satan sounds like he wants to stick around and hang on to the smallest  amount of the Doyers franchise he can get his greedy little hands on.

Frank McCourt might keep the Doyer’s parking lots.  Really?!?!!  If McCourt hang onto those parking lots, he will be the landlord and potential developer of the land surrounding Doyer stadium.  Sigh.  In order to get McCourt to even sell the team, Major League Baseball agreed to grant him ‘sole and absolute discretion’ over whether to keep or sell the land.  McCourt would only make a lousy $14 million off these bad boy lots. Good GOD NO. UGH, just sell a hand full of  your multi million 10 homes (especially the ones located in LA), I am sure you can spare some.

Some say McCourt could try and develop the land in a way to rehabilitate his civic image.  Ummm let’s think about this…HELL to the NO fool!!

All of LA is hoping he will sell the parking lots so he will get the f*ck out of our fair city and never come back.  Luckily, most bidders are expected to ask McCourt to include the land in the sale, a negotiable tactic.  Yea bidders, just hire the Sopranos to make that negotiation.  The sweeter the deal fasho.

Frank McCourt, nobody wants to see you stay in LA.  Go back to Beantown or where ever you came from and never come back.  McCourt could be a nice guy, who really knows.  But all of LA fasho has only seen your dark side.  The Doyers are like the one ring to rule us all and has turned McCourt into an evil bottom feeder creature.  This ring, the Doyers, has poisoned your mind and will give you a unaturally long life if you choose to hang onto it.  Who wants to live that long when nobody likes you?

Frankie, here some advice:  Just watch yourself in The Two Towers over and over again and repeat that message to your evil self (the Doyer self) so it will never leave that thick skull of yours. “LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!”