BOO!

Happy Halloween!  Here are some of the scariest (or funniest) faces in Sports Today.  If you don’t agree with these pictures then, whatever, if you ran into one of these faces in the middle of the night, I bet you would pee your pants.  Get Scared.  Enjoy!

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NBA: DEC 25: Heat at Lakers

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And the best Costume goes to Ms. Derek Jeter…….

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NBA Kickoff

The NBA Season kicks off tomorrow.  And how excited are we?!

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Well, as a Lakers fan…….not that excited 😦  How excited can you be if your star veteran player is hurt, the supposed up and coming star player left for greener pastures, your newcomers are a snore, your bench is singing crickets and your returning players are….well, how can I put this….are OLD.  Plus the guys upstairs can’t even decide between ketchup or mustard.

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And Jordan Farmar…?  Don’t get me started on Dumbo…..

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The Lakers are a battered washed up team who will probably make the playoffs but it definitely won’t be an easy road to get to.  We will be lucky enough to see Kobe Bryant play his last game in full health and spirit.

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The one distraction I can count on this season is seeing the return of Derek Rose coming back from a torn ACL injury in April 2012.  Derek Rose is back, and back with a vengeance.  Haven’t you seen his epic commercial?  Here take a gander.

We can only hope that Derek Rose and his Chicago Bulls can take on Lebron James and the Miami Heat. Is anyone really rooting for Lebron this season?  Aside from kiss ass ESPN, aren’t we already sick of him?

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Aren’t we sick of hearing Michael Jordan come out and say he doesn’t like Lebron and would rather play with Kobe Bryant any day of the week?  Hahaha, naw not really.  But seriously, when talking about the NBA, there has to be other topics to talk about other than Lebron?

The Bulls, who were the only NBA team with an 8-0 preseason record, are again expected to challenge the Heat for the Eastern Conference crown this season.  So of course, OF COURSE, ESPN had to ask Lebron about the come back of the only player whose on a team that can take on the Heat this season.  “We don’t like them, they don’t like us,” James said of the Bulls after the drill. “It’s not unheard of. We all know how it is.”

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So articulate.  How does this guy come up with this stuff?

The only way this NBA season will be somewhat tolerable is if Lebron and the Heat lose.  Not necessarily lose a lot, but lose just enough for him to make that hilarious cry face again.

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Hopefully the Bulls can bring the Heat this season…..I mean beat the Heat…..I mean defeat the Heat.  Just WIN Chicago! Do it for Michael! Do it for SpaceJam!

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USC gets the Finger..again

Another NCAA sanction, another sad sad day in Trojan land 😦

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Seriously there should be a free happy hour at USC on campus somewhere every time the NCAA announces new sanctions to another University……to drown their sorrows in an endless amount of PBR.  That would at least help……for an hour.

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Finally after lengthy two and a half-year investigation, the NCAA announced their sanctions on Miami University Athletics that is docking the Hurricanes Football program a total of 9 scholarships over the next three years.  The NCAA forgot to ban the team from playing in bowl games.  Mind you, this is the last year college football is going to see BCS Bowl Games (THANK GOD).  But seriously, what gives NCAA?

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Oh wait.  Wouldn’t you know?  The NCAA cited lack of “institutional control” of the Hurricanes decades of violations:

The University of Miami lacked institutional control when it did not monitor the activities of a major booster, the men’s basketball and football coaching staffs, student-athletes and prospects for a decade, according to findings by the Division I Committee on Infractions.

Approximately 30 student-athletes were involved with the booster. Several football coaches, three men’s basketball coaches and two athletics department staff members were also involved in the case. These staff members had a poor understanding of NCAA rules or felt comfortable breaking them. Furthermore, some of the coaches provided false information during the enforcement staff and university’s investigation.

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Interesting choice of phrases here: “lack of institutional control,” “decades of violations” and “30 Student-Athletes were involved.”  It’s just baffling to hear these words come out of the NCAA fat cats’ mouths.

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I am almost certain I am not the only blog erupting with anger and frustration about these Miami sanctions.  How long are College Presidents, coaches and athletes going to listen to these NCAA ass clowns?

I know Pat Haden must be fuming with rage.  The man is literally doing all he can do to save the USC football program, the one football program who got the harshest sanctions since the SMU scandal. (Look below, you can just see the fires of Mordor in his eyes, patiently waiting to pounce and kill).

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SMU….funny I should mention them because the Miami scandal is quite similar.  Many student athletes and staff were well aware of Texas oil tycoons handing out money and gifts to players, even including the nefarious “slush fund.”  The “Slush Fund” was used for under the table payments to players starting in the 1970’s to 1986.  So it makes sense why their penalty was so severe.  Over a decade of violations, lack of institutional judgement and down right smug nature, SMU’s football program was, and possibly now, dunzo.  Well dunzo for a while….they still have yet to fully recover.

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Now next up on the chopping block is USC.  There was 1 player over the span of 2 years that received money and other gifts, while the NCAA cited lack of “institutional control.”  Seeing how institutional control over many players vs. just 1, the punishment would less severe of course.  How can you expect a University to keep multiple players in check?  The NCAA did the right thing, a University should at least have control over 1 player versus many. Puke in my mouth……

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Oh the absurdity is just running rampant up in Indianapolis, IN.  Absurdity or Idiocy.  Take your pick.

I just don’t know if I can take another released sanction from the NCAA.  I don’t know if they can even take it themselves.  Every sanction that is released is just a laugher.  Do they seriously feel that they have any credibility and integrity left?  I have Mad Magazines that hold more integrity than the NCAA.

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As College Sports fans, we can only hope that nobody (and I mean NOBODY), no players, no coaches, no administrations, no mascots, no Universities, no NOTHING commit another violation in the near future.  Come on NCAA, is it too much to ask to bring back some honesty and principle back into College Football?   Lee Corso is just killing us over here.

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The $$ Irish

One of the most celebrated rivalries in college football took place last Saturday evening in good old South Bend, IN: Notre Dame vs. USC.

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I luckily have had the chance to attend this decorated event every other year and see all what the Fighting Irish have to offer.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been to South Bend before and have loved every minute of it: the fantasy like campus set in the lush forest, the crisp fall October weather, the old brick buildings, the one of kind religious monuments sprinkled all over campus…the list can go on because Notre Dame Campus is that awesome.

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However, this trip around, I noticed some gaping downfalls of attending a football game at Notre Dame.  As a USC fan, granted I was wearing an embarrassing Trojan football helmet I stole at a frat party, I would either receive a few accolades or a few insults from football fans alike, I may not be the most reliable source….

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But what the hell,  this is my sports blog.  Here are 6 points that need to be said about those Irish at Notre Dame.

1. The Book Store

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I have been to Notre Dame at least 5 times before but for god sakes does their Book Store need to be so damn big?  In the past I was a child, had no reference to any other university student store out there.  Now as a graduate of college and graduate school,  I have seen my fair share of student stores.

Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Photo by Matt Cashore/University of Notre Dame

Notre Dame’s just takes it to entirely new level.  3 levels to be exact.  The size of the student store alone looks like an apartment complex.  The square footage alone can fit a baseball field.  I mean, how much college paraphernalia does one school need?  Apparently, a shit load: $8.3 billion endowment.

One would think their money would be put to more practical use.  But wait, this is Notre Dame we are talking about.  They have more money than they know what to do with.  And that comes to my next point.

2.  The Campus

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Holy Bejingo.  This campus is HUGE, almost the size of UCLA, ya know, just without the hills and steps….and sunshine.  I asked a fellow alum how many total students are on campus, undergrads and graduates…..or just looked it up on Wikipedia.  11,733 students on a campus that is 1,250 acres.  Now let us compare this to a University that is known to have one of the largest student bodies: The University of Wisconsin, 38,255 students on a campus that is 936 acres.   How about University of California, Berkeley: 35,899 students on a campus that is 1,232 acres.

Aerial of the central campus Photo by Matt Cashore/University of Notre Dame

Now does that statistically make sense?  Hell no.

I get it, South Bend, IN isn’t the most lucrative place and the area has plenty of land to go around.  Even Farmer John doesn’t want to buy land there.  And you know the campus is just going to get bigger and bigger, with their student body numbers remaining exactly the same.  Yea, the students really need all that space, how do you think they get their creative juices flowing?  And what about that Art School huh?

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3. The Band

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One of the best parts about visiting another school for a football game is seeing their band perform.  Although nobody can be as nearly as good as the Spirit of Troy, Notre Dame does have one of the best fight songs.  So as a visiting college football fan, you can’t help but feel a little giddy when the band is about the play on the steps of a building in the middle of the Quad.

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But this time around was completely different.  Seeing how the band Chicago went to Notre Dame and I am sure donated millions of dollars to the school, the band decided to dedicate their entire play time to Chicago songs.  And not just sheet music, we are talking American Idol singing performances with little to no band participation.

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What the hell is this?!  I don’t care if Chicago donated millions and millions of dollars, Notre Dame already has billions of dollars, that doesn’t make it acceptable for fans traveling to South Bend to come watch a college football game be forced to watch amateur Chicago hour.  And South Bend ain’t an easy place to get to.

Is it so much to ask for a college marching band to play its own fight song?  I guess not when Chicago and a big check are in town 😛

4. The Stadium

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Gotta love those old classic stadiums built in the 1930’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I love an old stadium that has character, has history and tradition.  Those are really hard to come by now a days. But Notre Dame really?  After the 1997 renovation, expanding the seating from 50,097 to 80,795, you would think this new and improved stadium would be the cats pajamas.

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Have you seen the seats?  Notre Dame seating is composed of long wooden benches, wooden benches that weren’t included in the renovation, OR, were included in the renovation but modeled after the original 1930’s seats.  These seats are about 15 inches wide with small white numbers designated each seat.  Do you know how fat Americans are now a days?  A butt load bigger than we were in the 1930’s that is for sure.  BUTT being the operative word.  And we are only going to get bigger and fatter.  Just look at the country’s child obesity rate…….thanks Ronald McDonald.

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Nobody is ever sitting in their actual seats because horizontally challenged people can’t seem to stay in their own goddamn seat.  Especially in cold weather, when people are bundled up like the inflated Michelin man, you tend to take up a bit more square footage.

You would think with all the cha-ching, they would renovate the seats to house the ever-growing fatness of America.

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5. Night Game

Why in god’s name would you have a night game in late October in South Bend, IN?!  Speaking from a Sunny Californian perspective, that is hella cold bra.  Honestly with the seating and the weather (RAIN), why would Notre Dame ever think that it would be ok to have a night game.

Oh yes, of course.  Thank you NBC.  Notre Dame’s lucrative TV deal with NBC forces them to comply with television ratings and broadcasting of other football games.  SIGH.  Let the fans who are at the game suffer while the fans at home enjoy an ice-cold beer and warm hot dog by the roaring fire-place.

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6. The Fans

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This particular game was a little special for me because I was never told by a Notre Dame fan at a football game to “Be Quite.” Are you kidding?  This isn’t the opera lady, we are at a FREAKING FOOTBALL GAME.  I swear if I was the level of drunk I wish I was at considering the cold weather, this old lady and her husband would never show their faces in Los Angeles.

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While watching one of the WORST football games I have ever seen (mind you I just say football, because I have seen High School football games better than this one), I couldn’t help but notice the surrounding fans.  What the hell else was I going to do, watch a football game?

One always has to remind oneself of this little tidbit when at a Notre Dame Football Game: half of the fans didn’t even go to Notre Dame.  One half are old fogey alumni who are all on medicare telling fans to be quiet as the other half are townies from South Bend who have nothing else better to do than attend a Notre Dame football game.  Hell, some of these fans LIVE and BREATHE Notre Dame, DOMERS we like call them.

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These fans are tasteless drunkards who are some of the most foul-smelling people you can be around.  You can immediately tell the difference between alumni and townies, townies are the ones who can’t shut the f*ck up and are relentless in their dim-witted name calling and obnoxious swearing.   Yelling for “Mark Sanchez to come in for Cody Kessler!”……come on man you can’t you come up with something a bit more creative than that?  You walk around campus don’t you?

YES, I am going to pull the “I am better than you” card because “I have an education and have seen life outside Hickville.”

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These townies don’t really have much of a life outside of Notre Dame, so you gotta give them the benefit of the doubt on game days.  But no, they are terrible fans and considering Notre Dame’s prestigious reputation and vast bank account, one would assume that these fans wouldn’t even be allowed on the church steps.

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A majority of this list all comes down to the one thing that makes the college sports world go ’round: $$

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Money exudes out like sweat at Notre Dame, from the campus, the buildings, the band and the culture.  With such a great prestigious reputation, you would hope the University wasn’t as so immersed into such a Scrooge McDuck persona.

(BTW: Wasn’t RUDY Ruettiger charged in a stock scheme in 2011?)

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BUT, that is entirely hypocritical.  All Universities wish they could be like Notre Dame, they all wish they had the same donors with deep pockets, dedicated alumni, smarty pants students and collegiate tradition that surpasses most.

Despite money being the utmost importance to Universities, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is ok to push their financial gain into the lime light.  Students and Alumni have managed to find other finer things in life, like serving beer at the stadium, treating visiting fans with respect, expanding the student body, making sure fans are comfortable enough to sit down in their own seats and playing the goddamn FIGHT SONG.

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As a Trojan fan I will always chant, “BEAT THE IRISH,” but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to enjoy my stay at South Bend next time.  Get it together Notre Dame.

Dawn of a new era?

A new day, a new game, a new coach, a new life.

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Interim Head Coach Ed Orgeron of USC debuted his awesome possum leadership skills last week during the Trojan’s 38-31 win against the Arizona Wildcats.  Even USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden, was impressed with the atmosphere in the Trojan’s locker room before the Arizona game: “I’ve never seen anything like it.  It was unbelievable.”

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After the victory over Arizona, Haden said “Coach O was awesome” and cited the energy and joy of the players.  Rather than quietly contemplating the start of the game, music filled the locker room.

“I don’t know what the music was,” Haden said. “It’s not on my iPod — it was weird music, but they loved it.”  Nice.  Too bad Kiffin’s favorite music is Taylor Swift.

NCAA Football: Southern California at Arizona State

I think we can all agree that the Trojans might have found their future and Lane Kiffin is really really depressed about it.  You could see how depressed he is if you watched him last Saturday at the College Gameday broadcast at Washington University, where Chris Fowler interviewed the poor bastard, asking him about his recent flame out with USC.  With chants of “You Got Fired” resounding behind him, Kiffin insisted that he still loves coaching and described the experience of watching USC defeat Arizona as “like watching someone else raise your kids.”  Yea, kids who don’t love you.  How does that feel Kiffy?

Before concluding his interview with Fowler, Kiffin signaled to athletic directors around the country that he was ready to try again, referencing his “next job” and “young age.”

Puke in my mouth Kiffin.  You probably won’t get hired somewhere until the off-season. Calm down.  With keeping young age in mind, can you answer me this: What have you accomplished?  What positive effect have you had on the world?  Every job you had as a head coach, you were fired or immediately left in shambles, leaving only a Sewage System in your name. Enough about Kiffin, he is dunzo and we shouldn’t waste anymore of our valuable time on the useless douche of a coach.

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Whether Orgeron will remain the head coach remains to be seen.  Despite the win, there was still some gaping problems no one can ignore like a depleting defense that gives up in the second half and an offense still trying to find its footing with a newcomer quarterback.  However, it was still pretty freaking sweet seeing them win, and having fun while doing it.

1381471895000-USP-NCAA-Football-Arizona-at-Southern-California-003Orgeron is bringing the fire and passion back to the game, something Kiffin was sorely lacking.  Even though it seems like the most important thing right now is to win, I think the hope that Orgeron represents is far more important, especially to the players.  The players are the ones who need that hope to drive them to go to practice at 6am, the drive to play for a coach they actually want to play for, the drive they need to WIN.

1528486_sp_usc_utah_state033_LSSo here is to the new coach, here is to a new team, here is to a new era in Trojan Land.  An era without Kiffin.  Can I get an AMEN up in this biatch?!

Thank you.

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I’m sorry but I have to give a shout out to this amazing, and truly inspiring, video.

Despite its fictional content, I really think this 30 for 30 film of Gordon Bombay could really change lives.  Who is to say that the Mighty Ducks isn’t one of the best sports movies?

Although it is Disney movie, this film inspired the creation of an actual professional Hockey Team.  Now I ask you, what other sport film has done that?!  That is pretty Mighty…

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Oh the Mighty Ducks, a bunch of wise cracking middle schoolers from the middle of nowhere Minnesota, made our hearts melt with your typical David and Goliath tale, the underdogs defeating evil…I mean the bigger better team.

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Although you feel pity for these misfits, you don’t in the end.  They went on to play in the freakin’ Olympics and won!  Do they even have Olympics in Junior Hockey, who the hell knows.  They only played Trinidad and Tobago, Italy and Iceland (the junior hockey capitals of the world) DUH.

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And then they go on to get full scholarships at a snotty east coast prep school, defeating Varsity and once again making us realize that these misfits truly are mighty and can defeat pretty much any team that skates their way.

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Nobody can argue that 3 films was quite enough for this franchise.  D2 amazing, D3 not so much. Gordon Bombay was only in D3 for a total of 10 minutes.  10 minutes of Emilio Estevez screen time is clearly not enough. Coach Gordon Bombay wasn’t even their coach?!  They weren’t even the Mighty Ducks…..fail Disney, fail.

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Oh ESPN, if you could truly make a 30 for 30 film on Coach Bombay, maybe then we can start rooting for the underdogs again, start quacking in unison and remember why kids playing sports is the greatest entertainment this world has to offer.

Quack….Quack…Quack!!

or just watch this…