Armstrong vs. Te’o, Cheater vs. MEAT HEAD

What is with athletes these days?  The cheating, the lying, being plain stupid……the list goes on.  We could blame the media because they sure as hell aren’t helping theses blown out of proportion situations.  Case in point: Lance Armstrong and Manti T’eo.  Both have recently come out to the media explaining their not so subtle developing situations of deceit.  And to top it all off, they both went on syndicated talk shows to pour their hearts out, possibly shed a few tears and experience some sort of redemption or confessional release for the public.  Katie Couric……Oprah.    Who interviewed the better athlete?  Who is the better talk show host?  Who the mofo cares?    Well, this sports fan finds it intriguingly idiotic yet enticing.  Come on people, this is the downfall of our species!


Common Sense seems to be thrown right out the door with these guys.  But hey, they are professional athletes in the spot-light, they are untouchable right?  WRONG.  Liars are liars and should never get away with it.  Boy, did they get away with it.  At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that Manti Te’o’s situation is a bit lighter in guilt than Armstrong’s.  Which is why I think Armstrong went on Oprah, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  In his first public appearance since his confession, of course he is only coming out to the big time tv talk show mogul….who just manages to bring out the cry baby in everyone….well except Barbara Walters.  But that bitch on The View…yea right Armstrong be coming out on the View being subjected to 5 women’s ridicule and sass.  Hell No.  Let him hang on to the only ball he has left ladies.


Armstrong’s Oprah interview was anything but moving.  Oprah asked all the right questions but his answers were bleak and a bit banal.  The only ounce of emotion that was felt was Oprah’s question about his LIVEStrong company, millions and millions of invested money down the drain.  He seemed a bit down losing the bling bling, even though he will still be living on easy street the rest of his life.  Which is why I felt nothing during this interview.  The guy flat-out cheated and lied about his situation so I felt no remorse or sympathy for the cyclist.  But I understand the public’s need for confirmation.  We know what he did.  We just want to know WHY he did it and persisted to LIE about it, calling the investigation a “witch hunt.”  More importantly, why did he continue to attack his teammates and journalists who were trying to expose the truth…the truth shall set you free Lance.  It seems like he lied to everybody and to be honest, I think we all deserve an apology, especially his fans……and maybe France.  Send France a gift basket of McDonald French Fries, they will love it.  It would have been awesome on Oprah if he stepped it up and apologized, admit his responsibility for falsely attacking others, and for turning an entire decade of his sport into a worldwide mockery.  This decorated mythical athlete literally put cycling on the map while pissing off one of the USA’s bitchy and whiney allies…it was a win-win situation for America.  I wish there was more discussion of his family.  Gotta give it up to the guy for admitting that throughout this entire controversy, the hardest part was telling his children.  Now THAT I believe.






What did you want Armstrong to say on Oprah?




Manti Te’o’s story on the other hand is straight up ridiculous and continues to get more ridiculous by the second.  This is truly the most bizarre stories in sports history, simply because of the whole fake girlfriend thing was an essential part of Te’o’s growing legend.  At this point my only question is why Katie Couric?  Katie Couric makes the most random distracting facial expressions while interviewing.  The batting of the eyes, the pursing of the lips, the flip of the hair…..I can’t stand that.  You think Te’o is going to confess his stupidity to twitchy turrets avon lady?  Well, he did.  The Te’o interview was more of a laugher than Armstrong only because his outrageously ludicrous situation.   Katie asked all the right questions, with her (in)voluntary facial expressions, but I still couldn’t take it seriously.  I would have taken a Te’o press conference more seriously….plus his family there.  Oh no.  Come on Te’o your a big boy, going to get drafted to the NFL soon….come on man, giving your future team mates more reason to haze ur mormon ass, you  are already going to get eaten alive once you hit the locker room.  DUDE


There are endless questions for Te’o, more intriguing and head scratching questions that we may perhaps never answer.  Such as: If he wasn’t involved in the hoax, how does he explain a report that he met her after a game at Stanford? What about those trips his father said she took to Hawaii? At what point did Te’o suspect Lennay Kekua might not actually exist? When did he know for certain? Why didn’t he ever try to visit with her, or even see her face via Skype? Why did he keep the hoax alive when he knew it to be false? Why did he allow Notre Dame and his family to keep the story alive?  He never met this bitch and claimed she was the ‘love of his life.’  UGH.  The real questions I would want to ask this Meat Head is about his integrity….about his decorated fame….does he think he deserves it?  With this story in mind, do you think the media blew it out of proportion?  Did you enjoy the ride?  Do you think you deserved to be nominated for the Heisman despite the fact that you aren’t the most talented LB college football has seen?  Do you feel like your story cheated the public and the sports world? Now THAT would have been an awesome interview.


We love to hear confessionals.  We are soo entertained by lies and drama that I think we sometimes forget that people’s lives are on the line, on the chopping block fasho.  The only reason I found Te’os interview more entertaining is because of his story.  Armstrong’s story is less interesting and just straight up selfish.  He could have stopped taking PEDs at any time.  He swindled many investors, lost millions of dollars and lied to his devoted fans, thus forever damaging American cycling.  Hope he is happy.  Te’o is still a kid in the eyes of many people, which is why many want to sympathize and feel for the Meat Head.  Is his sheltered lifestyle and religion to blame for his gullibility?  Who knows but I know Oprah would have gotten down to business with the Meat Head. Te’o is the one who should be on Oprah for some counseling and a group hug. Imagine the ratings coup when the tough linebacker with the trusting face confesses his vulnerabilities in a teary prime-time special. Plus that tacky banner in the background in the Katie studio…..seriously?  We know Te’o is speaking because he is on the show Katie.  I guess Te’o’s DUMB is wearing off.

Oprah for the win.


Blame it on the ButtFace

Screen Shot 2012-12-03 at 9.29.01 AM

Ouch LA Times. ouch.  Hope Lane Kiffin doesn’t read the paper because his approval rating has dropped lower than Taylor Swift’s panties.  I mean this was a ridiculous long time coming, just take a look at THE worst season a college football team has EVER seen.  If you think Manti Te’o’s dating skills are tragic, take a look at USC.

Lane Kiffin

2012 has been the worst year USC football has ever seen.  Where to begin….?  Well I think it all started in New York at Met Life Stadium.  SC was expected to slaughter a not so great Syracuse football team at least by a couple of touchdowns.  No, SC only won by 13… retrospect in should have been a lot more to a Big East Team whose previous season record was a measly 5-7.  I wish this was the only and last ::Sigh:: this Trojan fan would have for a season that started off so promising, ranked #1 in the country.

football-money   After opening last football season ranked #1, the Trojans sank to an unbelievably embarrassing 7-6 record under the not so great tutelage of Coach Lane Kiffin.  Is he to blame?  At this point int time…….yes….yes he can…..and should for many MANY reasons.  Even USC Athletic Director Pat Haden knows that football program’s derailed state of affairs, especially when all the hatred and blame is being pointed directly at Kiffin’s visor wearing head.  Asked to describe the state of USC athletics, Haden says, “The sky is not falling, in spite of what some people read and think and write.”  I get it, there is more to collegiate sports than football, but may I ask…..which sport brings in the most revenue?  Which sport brings in the most publicity?  Which sport increases freshman enrollment?  la-sp-pat-haden-usc-20130122-001

Luckily for our Trojan fan sake, Haden acknowledges receiving a steady stream of negative letters, emails and Twitter messages. He says his car was recently keyed off campus — “I don’t know if that is a result of this,” he says, laughing.  Yes, laugh it up Haden. Luckily for you, USC is located in South Central, one of safest hoods in Los Angeles.  Didn’t the University just instill a 9pm curfew?  You crazy college kids you.


Despite the influx of hate, Haden has continuously said he supports Kiffin 100% and has no reason why Kiffin shouldn’t be the football coach.  UGH, do we have to do the math for you Haden?!

In September, an innocent reporter was banned from practice after he accurately reported that a player underwent surgery. GOOD GOD say it ain’t so!! Kiffin also abruptly bolted from a post-practice news conference when asked about a player returning from injury. Beyond random.  Why don’t you just make SC look like a bunch of ADHD Space Cadets who can’t handle the media.  Sadly, this was only the beginning.

In October, a USC quarterback was instructed by coaches to wear another player’s jersey number on special teams in the first half against Colorado, and then played later in the game in his usual number. Brilliant strategy… thanks Napoleon!  In November, the Pac-12 Conference fined USC $25,000 after it was discovered that a student manager intentionally deflated USC footballs before a game against Oregon. Now why would he do that?  The season ended with the embarrassing Sun Bowl loss to Georgia Tech, punctuated by news stories last week that portrayed a heated post game locker-room scene.  I dunno if it was soo much heated towards each other or heated towards a certain khaki wearing individual who hides behind play cards.



Yes, USC is still hurtin’ for certain from the harsh (harshest!) NCAA sanctions thanks to running back Reggie Bush.  But come on, you can’t even compare this season to last season, 2011 where the Trojans went 10-2.  Maybe the penalties are sinking in with loss of scholarships and recruits but DUDE, resulting in theses immature and stupid antics leaving the team so frustrated that they decide to West Side Story it out in the Locker Room?  Unacceptable.

“We need to earn our fans’ respect back,” Haden says, “and the only way you can do that is win.”  I sure hope so buddy.  Is that all Kiffin needs to do to keep his job?  “I’m not answering that question,” Haden says, adding, “Sometimes when you’re calling plays . . . you don’t sense maybe the whole team. So I think he has to really sense the whole team and feel and have the relationship with the whole team….”  First of all, grammar!  Second, isn’t that covered in Freshman course PSY 101, building any sort of relationship requires a connection with trust and honesty?  Kiffin is so distant from his team he can’t even call GOOD plays, are you kidding me?  Didn’t you watch the Notre Game?   Yes Lane, let’s run the ball on 3rd down because it worked out so well the other 432 times you did it!   ” Secondly, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff, Lane,’ Haden blabs on.  “Don’t worry about injury reporting at practice and whatever other things we kind of trip ourselves up on — jersey numbers and things.”  Hmmmmmm so what you mean is don’t learn from your mistakes?  That’s great parenting right there.  You Kiffin, do NOT get a time out even though you broke some rules….who cares right?  If you are in calling the shots for LA’s most popular football team, the closest thing we have to the NFL, you can get away with anything.  Everybody knows that.  Haden you are starting to border line MORON.

Notre Dame v USC

Lucky for us, somebody is optimistic about next year.  “I’m a paid optimist,” he says, “and I think we’ve got a great opportunity to rebound and have a terrific season next year.”  That’s right, your PAID.  Shit, if I was paid to think like you I would.  But lets put ourselves in Haden’s position.  What if the Trojans DO in fact have a great season, receive a great recruiting class, compete for the Pac-12 Conference title game and have one of their players nominated for the Heisman.  That all sounds fantastic but still will never change the fact that the 2012 season was one of the most depressing and darkest times that any college football program has ever seen.  EVER.  Kudos to Kiffin for making USC football season the laughing-stock of the entire NCAA.  No other team in college football history has been ranked #1 in the preseason, had a Heisman frontrunner and fallen so low to depths of complete shit.


Hey, I want to be a paid optimist.  Say Haden, where can I sign up?

The Lying Irish…..or Gay

NCAA Football: Notre Dame vs Navy

I am soo late in the game with my posts lately, my apologies!  But damn, do I have to write about this College Football National Championship, it is just too good to pass up.  But what is even WAAAAYYy too good to pass up is this turn of recent events for the Irish’s star and most decorated player of the season, Linebacker Manti Te’o, and his IMAGINARY girlfriend.

News broke today that Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend story was a complete LIE and was an Internet hoax.  To quote Notre Dame’s Athletic Director, calling the situation a ‘sophisticated hoax’……yea, clearly this guy has never been on a dating website let alone the Internet.  There is NOTHING sophisticated about making a fake profile and talking to people as another person.  I just have one word for this hoax….DUMB.

USC v Notre Dame

I don’t know if you watched the Notre Dame Press Conference aired this evening on ESPN’s Sports Center, but Notre Dame’s Athletic Director, Jack Swarbick, spoke to the press about this ‘tragic’ situation, obviously labeling Te’o as the victim and defending his honest and strong character.  Can we just come right out and say that meeting someone on the Internet, talking on the phone/web and NEVER meeting the real person in REAL life……is DUMB.  Manti Te’o is DUMB.  Straight up MEAT HEAD.

Even Swarbick should have some knowledge of internet dating, hell during the press conference he referred to MTV’s show Catfish, a documentary style television show that follows these sucker people who fall for their supposed ‘soul mates’ or ‘loves of their lives’  they meet on the Internet…..but WAIT…these people aren’t telling the truth?!  They aren’t the people they say they are on the Internet?!?! GET outta town!  That just sounds ridiculous.  And sorry to give Catfish a bad rap, but all these people on the show are either desperate, experienced severe trauma, molestation, weigh over 300 pounds……clearly they all have issues and aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box…..this Internet hoax ain’t rocket science people.


Then again….there are two sides to every story. Manti Te’o could have had previously knowledge that this was a hoax.  If you read some of the articles already published detailing the timeline of this Internet girlfriend, it does seem sketchy…..and doesn’t really add up.  Athletic Director Jack Swarbick failed to answer some of the questions asked by the press, telling the press to ask Te’o……because he is the only one who can answer those personal questions…..even though Swarbick talked to Te’o extensively after he came clean to the University.  Interesting…….


Another interesting point…..Te’o and his family have previously made references to Te’o meeting his girlfriend in person. In October, for example, Te’o described her to ESPN as the most beautiful person he had ever met and his father told the South Bend Tribune in October that the girlfriend had traveled to Hawaii “every once in a while.”  DuuUUUuuudddde?  This shit ain’t falling into place.

20130116_mjm_sc5_011-457c77d75d6c211dc23762dc41bc4ec0Jack Swarbick’s press conference was forthright and a bit dramatic considering the “tragic” and “cruel” intentions targeted towards Te’o, but this situation isn’t going to come full circle till Te’o comes out himself and explains this bizarre situation.  And that is going to be a while, a long while.  Te’o is going to lay low for a while, up until the NFL combine before the draft in April.  Is his draft status going to diminish…? Who the hell knows.  It will only decline if it is revealed that he was in fact a part of the hoax and merely used the girlfriend sob story to gain publicity for not only himself but for Notre Dame  University as well.  I blame Rudy, he made it damn near impossible for anyone to live up to his glory story.  Te’o came close but now it is all gone.

The most farfetched, and perhaps most HIGHlarious, scenario is that Manti Te’o is trying to hide his sexual orientation.  Te’o is GAY!!?!?!  I’m sorry but LO-freakin-L.  This idea that he is gay, made up a girlfriend to hide his homosexuality as well as protect himself from the prejudice of male homophobia in this manly physical recreation we call ‘sports,’ just doesn’t seem to resonate.  It would make for a more sad and tragic story if you ask me, making him less of a MEAT HEAD and more a desperate athlete struggling to fit in.  Ahhh, just thinking about that possible assumption makes me sad.  SEEE, now that would be the story that would SAVE him.


In the beginning of this college football season, I hated Te’o’s story.  Sob story milked to death by the media and him just enjoying the ride.  To be fair, he is a solid player but not an amazing player.  Heisman worthy?  HELL NO.  He shouldn’t have even been considered.  But why was he?  Because of his story, because of his tragedy, because of his loving character, because of his strength to overcome adversity and lead his team to the National Championship since the 80’s.  Puke in my mouth.  Thank you ESPN.  Yea, what gives people?


The scam does more than just shatter a college football fairy tale. It also leaves a black mark on sports journalism, as many news outlets ran stories about the girlfriend’s passing without verifying her death. Wait, isn’t that important?  There was no published obituary for the girlfriend and no California driver’s license issued to anyone with that name (she supposedly graduated from Stanford). Ugh, Te’o you should have stopped it when you had the chance…seriously…you should have just have protected your privacy and remain mute about the ‘tragic’ subject.  Would such a tragic subject leave in a depression not wanting to talk to anyone, see the light of day?  The more and more you watch his October interview on ESPN below, the more and more you think how tragic is this story? The guy is talking about it flawlessly like he wasn’t even close to his girlfriend.  OH WAIT, they NEVER MET.  Ugh his MEAT HEADEDness just makes you feel stupid thinking about it.  This is why it starts to seem like Te’o was milking the story himself, propelling him into the public eye and making him a household name.  Well, he sure is now.

I don’t know about you but I’m mad stoked to find out the truth about MEATHEAD…..I mean Manti.

BTW: Good GOD was that an amazing BCS Football Championship.  The drama, the entertainment, the crying, the touchdowns.  I absolutely loved seeing the Irish crash, burn and die.  Boy did Notre Dame need Rudy or what?  Not to just win the game, but hell, to liven up their spirits, to give them the false hope that they are competitive and can beat the big boys from Alabama.  Psssshhh….yea right.  But hey, blame Te’o.  The game was after he found out that his girlfriend wasn’t real.  Did this heart-wrenching news negatively affect his game?  Who cares, Te’o made like 2 tackles the entire game, they lost, it’s awesome.  MEATHEAD be OVERRATED son.


New York I love you, but your AFC Team sucks balls

jets suck
Did anybody see the Sports Center segment talking about the Jets…..or the one before that….or the one before that talking about the Jets?  Yea, it’s the same FREAKING  update.  But if you missed it, here is one for good measure in case you have been living under a rock, this one will catch you up to speed

Get the drift?!  Mark Sanchez sucks and the Jets really have no idea what to do with Tebow let alone the entire team. Of course GM Mike Tannenbaum and offensive coordinator Tony Sparano would get fired by Woody Johnson because he can’t and won’t fire head coach Rex Ryan.  Tim Tebow is in disarray and heading to Jacksonville to put himself to goood……..shit…even SOME use.


What the mofo is going on with the Jets?!  Seriously, I have never seen a team fall into such disaster and embarrassment in my whole short life.  Maybe I haven’t lived long enough or maybe the Jets 2012 truly sucks beyond sucks.  It is so difficult to just focus on one issue because there are so many, too many for one football team to deal with in one season, Jesus Christ.  No wait, Jesus christ could actually be one of the issues, god damn you Tim Tebow and your god christian like prayers before each game, yea now where did that get ya….?  funny_jesus_7_0-s432x547-168274

I think we would all just love to blame somebody, but there are many people to blame, and one of them is NOT Tebow.  Tebow merely served as a publicity distraction for the team, which definitely back fired.  Tebow is just the victim in this whole Jets mess, a team that lured him in, swallowed him and spat him out, leaving him rejected and alone on the streets of New York.  Boo to the New York Jets for using a dedicated kind-hearted player like Tebow without even USING him.  The type of “using” where you try and hang out with the popular kids so you can get recognized in the cafeteria.  The Jets used Tebow to gain some popularity and publicity for a team in a city that doesn’t even need recognition, it’s NEW YORK fuckin’ CITY.  I don’t think anything goes unnoticed in the Big Apple.  Shame on you Jets for using an innocent young jesus loving man for your own selfish gain, and for what?  Gain of nothing. Pack your bags, we’re heading to Jacksonville!


Mark Sanchez should have been benched a long time ago.  But I gotta say, he made one of the worst and most entertaining plays of the year, running into his own lineman during the Thanksgiving game against the Patriots.  Pure Classic Dumb Ass.  I love it.  Thanks Dirty Sanchez, you will never live that one down.  The guy is straight up the WORST QB in the NFL this season.  And why didn’t Rex Ryan take a hint?  Why didn’t Woody Johnson threaten the Fat Man and put his job on the line if there wasn’t a change?!  Well, he likes the Fat Man around, his jokes, his jolliness.  Hell he brings Christmas cheer all around….so he must view Dirty Sanchez as one of his little elves….that’s it!  But wouldn’t one of Santa’s Little Helpers actually help?  Well, there goes that analogy 😛


new-york-jets-owner-woody-johnson-checks-his-cellphone-during-the-first-half-their-nfl-football-game-against-the-detroit-lions-detroit Woody Johnson has already made some drastic changes in the head office, firing the GM as well as the offensive coordinator, Tony Sparano.  I guess Woody thinks he can fire everybody except the two guys who are causing the problems.  Whatever, it’s his team right?  As long as he feels comfortable signing those checks, then A-OK brotha.  Apparently Woody Johnson “trusts” Rex Ryan.  Trust eh?

How is this for trust.  Last week, Rex Ryan was sporting a beautiful tattoo while vacationing in the Bahamas.  The tattoo appears to be of a woman, his wife?, wearing only a green jersey with Mark Sanchez’s #6 on it and posing in the “Tim Tebow” crouch or stance or whatever you call it.  Classy Rex….classy.  That tattoo isn’t even funny…it wouldn’t even be funny if the Jets had a solid season with Sanchez as an effective QB.  It’s insulting a god squadder for doing what he knows best, praying.  Putting that religious crap aside, Tebow is a good guy and shouldn’t be made fun of by his own…well temporary….coach.


Well it will be an interesting off-season indeed.  I just can’t wait to see what is in store for the Jets.  I wish HBO’s Hard Knocks was following them this year, but sadly they are not.  The Jets would be morons is they agreed to let HBO film their tumultuous off-season shenanigans.  Great Entertainment, Bad Publicity……Oh wait……th