Meyer baggin’ the Buckeye loot

Urban Meyer, Ohio State’s new football coach, is receiving a minimum of $4 million annually.  A MINIMUM.  Meyer is receiving more money than his be loved predecessor, the sweater vest man himself Jim Tressel.  Sounds like the Buckeyes won’t be missing Tressel.

Ohio State University completed the details of Meyer’s contract and released it Monday, with all the excessive money-grubbing spending-ness.  The school’s board of trustees are expected to approve it later this week.  Let’s just go over what they exactly need to approve shall we??

The ridiculously deal runs through 2017, hoping Meyer will rebuild the program back to its college football prestige.  Prestige eh..?  The Buckeyes received a one year bowl ban for NCAA rule violations under former coach Jim Tressel.  Sweater-vest Tressel was forced out because he didn’t tell anyone he received a tip about some players violating some pesky NCAA rules.  Darn those just get in way don’t they?  These violations included 8 players (count ’em 12….oh wait 8!) taking $14,000 cash and tattoos in exchange for   jerseys, rings and other football memorabilia.  Better be some sweet glow in the dark tattoos that can make you dinner and do your taxes too. ShooOOOoooot. 

Now back to this lucrative contract for Mr. Meyer.  Meyer’s contract guarantees him at least $4 million annually ( up from Tressel’s $3.8 million) with “many” chances to make significantly more with bonuses, youth camps and other compensation.  It includes SOOOooOOO many perks it should be labeled RIDIC : golf membership, car stipends, unlimited tickets and a suite for home football games, use of private jet for recruiting and “private” trips on the school’s tab.  Yea, “private” trips being weekend getaways to the Bahamas.  Well, if the trip is under 35 hours……

Meyer will get more money than the freakin’ president of the University, Gordon Gee.  The only important difference between Meyer’s contract from Jim Tressel’s is that the contract goes into greater detail about what he must do when in the face of a potential NCAA violation.  If he follows all the rules like a good highly-paid coach, Meyer will receive employment bonuses, a division title bonus, a league championship bonus as well as a BCS bowl bonus (since the Buckeyes are banned one year from playing in a bowl game this year, Meyer can still get his bonuses by still having the team finish in the top 10 of the BCS rankings).  The bastard also can get an academic bonus if his smarty pants players have a reasonable cumulative GPA above  a 3.0.  Sounds like some football players be hiring some nerds on the quad to finish up those pesky anthropology essays and take those challenging Bio exams.  UGH.  Ohio State, just shower this dude with more green why don’t you!

According to Meyer, he doesn’t even look at his contract.  Is he crazy??  “”I really don’t look at the contract.  I had my attorney look at it. I just don’t deal with that or how it compares to other contracts across the country, so I never looked at it. We talked through it and I’m OK with it.”  That’s great Meyer, for you to be just OK with the contract because the private jet perks and 6 potential bonuses you can receive are just OK.  How is that heart condition treating ya buddy?  Is it OK now?  Glad you are a happy man because there so many other football programs who could use that money to salvage a worthy football program and actually reach the BCS championship.  With all that dough flying around your face, I am sure no NCAA violations will get past you!  Psssssh..! Shit, with all that money who cares if there were any NCAA violations, you are going to get a bowl game bonus regardless if you ever actually reach a bowl game this year and finish in the top 10.

Ohio State is delusional if they think they can pay this one person vast amounts of money and believe that they are going to be a championship caliber football team.  Get real Buckeyes.  You cheated and you deserve far more punishment than you received from the NCAA.  Just count your blessings……better yet….just keep counting your money.

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