Can Durant rid us of Down Syndrome?

Seriously.  Who wants to see Lebron actually get what he has wanted since he stepped foot on the NBA courts?   Who wants to see Lebron get that ring?  Who wants to see Lebron finally get what he “deserves?”

I would love to say a big fat: NOBODY.  But that isn’t true.  There are some Lebron fans and lovers out there.  They just all happen to work at ESPN and the NBA.  Lucky for him, the majority of basketball fans who purely respect the player for their good attitude and classy showcase of talent don’t root for Lebron.  Because we all know, Lebron is none of those things.  He could have them in the future, but he sure as hell doesn’t have it now.

I sure hope nobody REALLY wants to see Lebron win.  Nobody wants to see that satisfaction he has been longing for ever since he decided to join the Miami Heat.  A selfish move from his hometown and home team, The Cleveland Cavaliers, in hopes to get those rings Kobe Bryant be sportin’ like his collection of Nike shoes.  It’s a good thing Lebron never wants to go back home.

The arrogant Lebron can’t even hold a candle to the class act that is Kevin Durant.  How can you not love a basketball player that gives his mom court side tickets to every game and gives her a giant hug and kiss after every victory?  I could be a major sucka but that is just freakin’ adorable.  I think Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder can defeat the Heat tonight in Game 5.  It is just a matter of putting Russel Westbrook in his place (damn bitchy Bruin), getting James Harden to score more than 13 points, having Derek Fisher step up to the plate by knocking down some clutch threes and for everybody to D up.  Play some defense to stop Lebron, Wade and Bosh.   It is possible.  Don’t be scurred of Lebron’s down syndrome busted face.  Do him a favor, do ALL OF US a favor and charge his face with your elbow, taking him out of game and forcing him to undergo some emergency reconstructive face surgery.  The world will be a better place 😀  

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Meyer baggin’ the Buckeye loot

Urban Meyer, Ohio State’s new football coach, is receiving a minimum of $4 million annually.  A MINIMUM.  Meyer is receiving more money than his be loved predecessor, the sweater vest man himself Jim Tressel.  Sounds like the Buckeyes won’t be missing Tressel.

Ohio State University completed the details of Meyer’s contract and released it Monday, with all the excessive money-grubbing spending-ness.  The school’s board of trustees are expected to approve it later this week.  Let’s just go over what they exactly need to approve shall we??

The ridiculously deal runs through 2017, hoping Meyer will rebuild the program back to its college football prestige.  Prestige eh..?  The Buckeyes received a one year bowl ban for NCAA rule violations under former coach Jim Tressel.  Sweater-vest Tressel was forced out because he didn’t tell anyone he received a tip about some players violating some pesky NCAA rules.  Darn those just get in way don’t they?  These violations included 8 players (count ’em 12….oh wait 8!) taking $14,000 cash and tattoos in exchange for   jerseys, rings and other football memorabilia.  Better be some sweet glow in the dark tattoos that can make you dinner and do your taxes too. ShooOOOoooot. 

Now back to this lucrative contract for Mr. Meyer.  Meyer’s contract guarantees him at least $4 million annually ( up from Tressel’s $3.8 million) with “many” chances to make significantly more with bonuses, youth camps and other compensation.  It includes SOOOooOOO many perks it should be labeled RIDIC : golf membership, car stipends, unlimited tickets and a suite for home football games, use of private jet for recruiting and “private” trips on the school’s tab.  Yea, “private” trips being weekend getaways to the Bahamas.  Well, if the trip is under 35 hours……

Meyer will get more money than the freakin’ president of the University, Gordon Gee.  The only important difference between Meyer’s contract from Jim Tressel’s is that the contract goes into greater detail about what he must do when in the face of a potential NCAA violation.  If he follows all the rules like a good highly-paid coach, Meyer will receive employment bonuses, a division title bonus, a league championship bonus as well as a BCS bowl bonus (since the Buckeyes are banned one year from playing in a bowl game this year, Meyer can still get his bonuses by still having the team finish in the top 10 of the BCS rankings).  The bastard also can get an academic bonus if his smarty pants players have a reasonable cumulative GPA above  a 3.0.  Sounds like some football players be hiring some nerds on the quad to finish up those pesky anthropology essays and take those challenging Bio exams.  UGH.  Ohio State, just shower this dude with more green why don’t you!

According to Meyer, he doesn’t even look at his contract.  Is he crazy??  “”I really don’t look at the contract.  I had my attorney look at it. I just don’t deal with that or how it compares to other contracts across the country, so I never looked at it. We talked through it and I’m OK with it.”  That’s great Meyer, for you to be just OK with the contract because the private jet perks and 6 potential bonuses you can receive are just OK.  How is that heart condition treating ya buddy?  Is it OK now?  Glad you are a happy man because there so many other football programs who could use that money to salvage a worthy football program and actually reach the BCS championship.  With all that dough flying around your face, I am sure no NCAA violations will get past you!  Psssssh..! Shit, with all that money who cares if there were any NCAA violations, you are going to get a bowl game bonus regardless if you ever actually reach a bowl game this year and finish in the top 10.

Ohio State is delusional if they think they can pay this one person vast amounts of money and believe that they are going to be a championship caliber football team.  Get real Buckeyes.  You cheated and you deserve far more punishment than you received from the NCAA.  Just count your blessings……better yet….just keep counting your money.

Psychology, eat your heart out

Oh Jerry Sandusky.  We all knew your lawyer had to pull out the big guns to make your case somewhat manageable.  Jerry Sandusky recently won a court ruling Friday that will let him have an “expert” testify about a psychiatric condition that his lawyers says helps better explain the letters Sandusky wrote to his accusers and his other questionable actions.

Judge John Cleland (have fun with this case buddy) granted a motion that sought to put evidence of “histrionic personality disorder” before jurors in Sandusky’s child sexual abuse case.  Good God, really?

“Histrionic Personality Disorder” is a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior and rapidly shifting emotions.  So that’s what that is?  So does this mean we have misjudged all those convicted child molesters and pedophiles?  Sounds like it could all be coming together for Mr. Sandusky.

According to ESPN, Dr. Glen Gabbard, clinical professor of psychiatry at Baylor College, said histrionic personality disorder is overwhelmingly diagnosed in women and in could no way be seen as a reason or explanation for the abuse of children, “That diagnosis, if he has it, would be completely irrelevant to anything having to do with criminal responsibility for acts of a pedophile.” Apparently a classic example of someone who suffers from this disorder would be Marilyn Monroe: someone who is overly dramatic, seductive and likes being the center of attention.  She did her fair share of taking advantage of the fellas but I think we are all certain that it was with their consent….and they enjoyed it.  

Trust him, he is a doctor.  It would make no sense to use this personality disorder as a defense for Sandusky.  Gotta give it to his lawyer for pulling out all the stops to defend the disgusting Sandusky but all you can do is LOL.  LOL to Sandusky for even attempting to defend his horrible and shocking actions.  Why even have a case?  The guy is clearly guilty with a capital G yo.  How many accusers have come forward to reveal their painful and traumatic pasts?  Have you read the testimonies?  Beyond traumatizing.  There are real people out there who genuinely suffer from personality disorders and need help.  Sandusky should be ashamed of himself for bringing a negative spotlight to a psychological disease that disturbs as well as harms innocent lives.  Sandusky is just a straight out CreepA who took advantage of several innocent boys, permanently scaring them for life, and needs to face the ultimate consequence for his despicable actions.

Let’s just hope this is a swift and thorough case to get this creepA behind bars for the rest of his life and stop making excuses for his actions.

Will LA celebrate the “LA” way?

Oh SNaaaaPPPpppp.  Is this city ready?!  Can we contain ourselves?!?!!  I would sure hope so and not set Cop Cars on fire now but hey, nobody can control a city who has never won the Stanley Cup.

The Los Angeles Kings are one game away from winning the Stanley Cup, an award the franchise has never won before.  That might be why we are all jumping on this Hockey bandwagon and jumping enjoy for this highly anticipated event.  The Kings are 3 games ahead of the New Jersey Devils and taking on those pesky Devils again Saturday night in the Garden State, in hopes of leaving with the Stanley Cup and returning to what will probably be a rambunctious  (hopefully not violent) city.  

Los Angeles is known to celebrate our sport victories in mysterious ways.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t old enough to see Los Doyers win the World Series in 1988 but I was old enough to watch the 10 o’clock News when the Lake Show won back to back championships in 2001, 2002, 2004, 2008, 2009, 2010.  Boy that was fun.  People running around like hooligans through the streets, turning over parked cars and setting them on fire.  Sounds like a party.

Will LA celebrate humbly or turn into a war zone?  Who is to say that LA will repeat their old ways when it come to hockey.  LA wasn’t a hockey city up until our team started getting really good and we all started to take notice.  Since the Lake Show’s downfall and the Doyers’s baseball season just getting started, LA seems to be experiencing a sense of mourning and loss due to the fact that the city hasn’t seen a championship in two years.  Two years may seem like nothing but it is a LOT considering LA’s past sports achievements and caliber.

LA is a city that has no patience.  We want the wins.  We want the amazing. We want the bragging rights.  But unlike other cities,  LA has experienced a relatively consistent surge of athletic achievements (nobody counts the Yankees because they are Satan’s team).  Setting Clipper Nation aside, LA’s teams have never been completely terrible and at many points in time have been very competitive, heading to the playoffs, the semi-finals and sometimes a championship.   For athletes, LA is the place to be.  The exposure, the celebrity, the attractions, the beach…it seems like LA has it all for those who want to make it BIG.  So why do we riot when we win?  That’s how we roll playas.  I guess LA just needs to set themselves apart from the rest.  Who wants to cheer and be happy when you can set Cop Cars on fire?  This city only gets one real good chance to run wild when our teams win it all, so we make the most of it.

For hockey to be the next big thing is a breath of fresh air for this city. LA has never won a Stanley Cup, so the outcome can go either two ways.  Maybe LA won’t celebrate the “LA” way because let’s face it, LA isn’t a hockey city and the current King fan base is mostly made up of  a bunch of dedicated band-wagonners. Or maybe LA has just been waiting for a good excuse to go out and “play” in the city again since Clipper Nation and the Lake Show decided to fade into obscurity.  It’s too far to tell whether Los Doyers will make it but I can tell you in all honesty that if Los Doyers DO win the World Series, there will be a riot throughout the streets of LA, guaranteed.

What to make of the almighty SEC……?

To many (many being those who only live in the south-east and bum dizzle boondocks towns), the SEC is the greatest  and most prestigious conference in college football.  Yes it is the most winningest conference but does that make them the best?  Yea maybe but there are so many other factors that us sports fans must consider.

One factor is Mary Jane.  The Pot, the Ganga, the Herb, the Green, the Bud, the Marijuana.  It has been recently disclosed by ESPN that players testing positive for marijuana in the mighty SEC do not face a one year suspension that comes from getting busted by the NCAA.  These crazy focused and dedicated players routinely get third, fourth and even with chances before they get booted off their beloved team.  Count ’em.  FIVE.  Well that’s a relief.  We need our players to get a nice inhale and exhale with em drugas to feel the full effect.  Can’t have that marijuana go to waste now you hear!  Failing drug tests administered by the NCAA result in a suspension.  Say it ain’t so, is the SEC gonna receive the bad news bears consequences??!

The findings come from the Associated Press who examined the drug policies of 11 current members of the SEC, which all have far more lenient drug penalties than the NCAA.  Really?  Than the NCAA.  The National Collegiate Athletic Association who is in charge of all the sports programming in Universities and Colleges alike?  Who do the NCAA think they are to come between the SEC and their championships?  That’s just crazy talk.

Apparently the NCAA is in no position to provide intervention throughout the school year but the actual schools are.  Thankfully, schools rely on their own philosophies and needs to set their drug testing policies, which are “complimentary” to those of the NCAA.  Ugh.  You got to be kidding me.  The SEC school’s policies focus more on recreational drugs because marijuana isn’t considered recreational at all.  Strictly performance enhancing……. DUH.  Will the smoke clear?  Probably not.  But it’s the players that desperately need the discipline from papa bear to learn from their mistakes and begin to act like the professional athlete they want to be. 

Aside from their outrageously idiotic drug policies, the one redeeming quality about the SEC is that they support the proposed PLAYOFF system.  The SEC took an official stand on the proposed four team playoff last week as school presidents and athletic directors voted unanimously to support having the four best teams play for the national title.  Sweet.

But here is the catch.  It WOULD make sense that the “best” powerhouse conference, which has won six consecutive Bowl Championship Series Titles, would want a playoff.  That gives the SEC the greatest chance to achieve ultimate college football glory, having two teams from the same conference compete against one another on any given year.  That would be just one big fat YAWN.  Those SEC games have been beyond boring, barely making touchdowns and winning games solely on field goals.  Is that competitive college football?  Wait, better re-phrase.  Is that the college football we want to see in the championship game??  Negative.

Unfortunately, it is not what all conferences want.  The Big Ten, the Atlantic Coast Conference, the Big East and the Pac 12 all want versions of a playoff that would guarantee some conference champions a shot at the title.  Every school obviously has their own agenda and will do what is best for their own schools/conferences.  I am not so sure that every individual school will look ahead to see the bigger picture at first, but over time, all we can do is pray that they do.  Especially the SEC.

The SEC needs to get off their high horse, swallow their southern pride and acknowledge that there are other conferences out there who play competitive college football.  Yes football players will smoke the reefer madness but good GOD, can we all have the same penalties and punishments?  Doesn’t that seem fair?  It’s just disgraceful to have a conference consider themselves above the rest just because they played a few championship teams who the BCS deemed competitive based on a computer program.  It’s especially shameful when you think you are the best after playing a team, a team in the same “powerful” conference, and making the championship game a field goal SNORE FEST.  Since having those less than stellar wins, the conference believes they can treat their athletes more leniently and let the bong hits rip.   That just doesn’t seem fair to us college football fans now, does it?  Sounds like somebody is drinking from the cheater cheater pumping eater kool aid.