Better to be “Safe” than Sorry

College Football Fans listen up.  The honorable NCAA has announced that they will be moving kickoffs from the 30 yard line to the 35 yard line, a change to keep the players safer.  Of course that will make one of the most violent sports much safer.  SoooOOOOoo much safer.  NCAA you are brilliant.

The running start by the players on the kicking team will be limited to 5 yards.  Another new NCAA rule involving free kicks will move touchbacks from the 20 to the 25-yard line, a move intended to encourage more touchbacks.  The panel also approved a rule that will require a player who loses his helmet during a play to leave the game for one play.  What?  Why?  WTF dude.

So if I’m a football player going about my business tackling an opponent, Jabba the Hutt #74 gets up in my face and I happen to lose my helmet in the process of tackling his ass,  I have to sit out one play?  I can’t just snap my helmet back on in 2.3 seconds and get in the huddle where it would probably take 1 minute or so to replace me with a substitute/back up player?  What gives?  Why have this brief yet unnecessary delay of game?  Maybe not worth a delay of game penalty but lets just say 5-7 players lose a helmet in the game, that would add on an extra 7-10 minutes to the game.  Don’t people always complain about how long football games are with all their penalties that no one understands?  I am just curious to see if the refs will make up a dance move for this “loss of helmet” delay.

Players will also be prohibited from leaping over blockers when trying to block punts.  Well that just takes the fun outta everything now doesn’t it?  Those  can be the most dramatic and exciting plays of the game.  Anyone remember Varsity Blues?

I know everyone understands that football is a dangerous game and safety needs to be constantly addressed and evaluated every year.  That whole concussion debacle was and will forever be a frightful concern.  But aren’t the players already aware of what they are signing up for?  Don’t gymnasts and ballerinas know that if they chose to pursue their passion of ridiculous acrobatics and physically demanding dancing that their bodies will begin to deteriorate at an early age?  They are all aware of this and swallow it because they love what they do despite the consequences.

Football players know it is a dangerous sport and are aware that the big guys upstairs are keeping their best interests at heart, trying to keep them safe and healthy.  But can we just let the guys play the game? Why strip some of the fun and heart out the game to make the game “somewhat” safer?  Who are you kidding? The game is always going to be dangerous unless we agree to attach flags on the players waists, making it flag football.  Yea, I don’t think that is going to happen.  

Is Somebody Jealous?

Poor Brady Quinn.  He just can’t catch a freakin’ break.  Nobody will throw this guy a  bone.

Quinn has been outed by GQ magazine for basically bitching about his teammate (and perhaps enemy….??!) Tim Tebow.  In it, Quinn was quoted, “We’ve had a lot of, I guess, luck, to put it simply.” He also said he felt the fans were the reason Tebow leapfrogged him on the depth chart when supplanting Kyle Orton as the starter after a 1-4 start.  “I felt like the fans had a lot to do with that,” Quinn said in the article. “Just ’cause they were chanting his name. There was a big calling for him. No, I don’t have any billboards. That would have been nice.”

Quinn also said in the article that Tebow’s expression of faith “doesn’t seem very humble to me.”  NOOOOOooOOOO WAAAaaaaaYYYYyyyy.  Who could tell?  Tebow hides it soo gosh darn well 😛 

To protect his own culo after the article’s release, Quinn took to his twitter account to set the record straight, claiming that the comment expressed in the article did not reflect his opinion of Tebow.  Yea right Brady.  Give it up, you jealin’ on Tebow and always will be if you continue to ride the bench.

Quinn also said on Twitter that “the resulting story was a completely inaccurate portrayal of my comments. I have addressed my disappointment with the writer and have reached out to Tim to clear this up.” Well DUH.  You know as well as everybody else in the NFL knows Tebow isn’t going anywhere, not with the winning season the Broncos had (perhaps swayed by Jesus, only Tebow really knows).

Tebow won seven of his first eight starts and produced a series of stirring fourth-quarter comebacks that made up for his poor passing and messy mechanics. With Tebow at quarterback, the Broncos reached the playoffs for the first time since 2005, and they won their first game, against Pittsburgh, when Tebow threw an electrifying 80-yard touchdown pass on the first play of overtime. ShooOOOooooot.

The author of the GQ article, Michael Silver, blasted Brady on Twitter as well claiming that he was in the right, “I quoted him accurately. Interview on tape.”  In another entry, Silver said: “I have the transcript and tape to back it up. I do agree that Brady is a standup guy, and his tone was not bitter.”  Playback that shizzzz Silver.

Oh stop that Mr. Silver, you don’t need to clear the air.  Quinn is just a lil’ Irish brat who has yet to get what he wants out of the NFL.  And who can blame him?  Quinn set 36 Fighting Irish records during his four seasons with the team.  Quinn was placed fourth in the Heisman trophy voting behind Reggie Bush, Vince Young and Matt Leinart.  HMmmmmm two Trojans in there as well as a player who  beat the Trojans in the Championship game all by himself……very G if you ask me. Ain’t so fighting now are we Brady?  Just watch this video where Quinn is playing SC in 2006, mouthing “f*ck me”, expressing the pure discontent he has with his team as well as himself.  Basically he knew he couldn’t compete on the same level of the awesome possum Trojans.  Word

Quinn was a first round pick for the Cleveland Browns in 2007, which unfortunately later sent him packing 3 years later to Denver.  Once known as a Heisman hopeful at Notre Dame, Brady Quinn’s career has gone from fame to college football to NFL bust. Now why is that?  Hmmmmmm, let’s just go through the string of NFL hopefuls coming out of the Golden Domer family.

You got Rick Mirer, a quarterback who only played 4 seasons in Seattle and spent most of his career as a backup.  Kent Graham, Blair Kiel, Ken Karcher, the list goes on and on.  And my personal favorite: Jimmy the Jerk Clausen.  Now this guy is a piece of work (and I’m not talking about his busted face).I guess you could say he under-performed at Notre Dame, losing all the important games (notably USC, suck it IRISH) and failing to lead the team to a decent bowl game.  He pissed off South Bend to the point where a die-hard Irish football fan (because let’s face it, what else is there to do in South Bend?) punched him in his busted face outside one of the townie bars. Punching the QB of the football team you so love and cherish?  Wow Clausen is truly a class A JERK.

Carolina drafted him in the 2nd round.   After just three NFL starts and being pulled in week 5, Clausen was benched after completing 47 percent of his passes with one touchdown and three interceptions. Clausen also fumbled seven times, losing two, and had a 52.2 passer rating. Yikes In 2011 the Panthers used their number one overall draft pick to select Cam Newton of Auburn. After a four-game preseason competition, Panthers coaches decided that Newton would be named the starter for the 2011 NFL Season.

Clausen had improved little over his 2010 regular season performance in the 2011 preseason, finishing 24/46 passing (52.2%) and 260 yards and a 5.70 average with 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions and was sacked 7 times in 53 dropbacks and had a quarterback rating of 58.2, similar to his 2010 regular season performance. The Panthers also signed veteran QB Derek Anderson to the team. Clausen was then demoted to third string.  BUWHAHAHAa the jerk is getting what he deserves.  Booyah.

Notre Dame hasn’t produced a decent NFL QB since Joe Montana…….ouch, 20 years yo.  The Gold Domers aren’t feeling so hot these days. Sounds like a dry spell to me.   Brady Quinn case and point.  Yes, you are jealous Brady Quinn but just do yourself a favor and shut up.  Nothing good can come of talking about Tim Tebow, your arch nemesis.  It just pisses everybody off and allows ESPN to substitute auto tuning song videos for actual sports broadcasts.  Just take a couple of snaps in practice, drink the Bronco Gatorade and  pray that Tebow goes too far with his religious practices and upsets his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

A Cracka at ESPN

It had to be a caucasian male at ESPN posting an article about Jeremy Lin titled, “A Chink in the Armor.”  Sorry J.F Arias, but the title of your novel is now affiliated with a Chinese American basketball player.  OOoohhhh wantons.

No one is really sure who the writer is.  Who is it?  Seriously…… Who is the cracka?

Let’s just throw more racism into the fire.  It was fasho a cracka writing that shit at ESPN.  Who else could get away with that?  His brain was a little too linsane in the membrane….with  a lil something something Special KKK for breakfast.

Good thing ESPN took notice of this AFTER it was published.  Are your F*cuking kidding?!?!  This racist title got through not just a board of writers but an Editor, get that an EDITOR: an individual who is paid big bongos to make sure the pieces of writing he/she is reading are reviewed for grammatical errors, accurate and informative information as well as written in an appropriate manner.  According to, an editor is a person having managerial and sometimes policy-making responsibility for the editorial  part of a publishing firm or of a newspaper, magazine, or other publication.   

Gee, i guess racism doesn’t really fall under “appropriate manner” for some.  Great policy making skills over there chief.

ESPN has since then come out with an official apology for one responsible for the mobile headline, the ESPN NEWS anchor’s comments as well as the radio commentator’s comments.  Ugh all three= white males.  Duh.  The one responsible for the mobile headline was dismissed, the News anchor is suspended for 30 days and the radio commentator is no longer an employee at ESPN.

“We again apologize, especially to Mr. Lin. His accomplishments are a source of great pride to the Asian-American community, including the Asian-American employees at ESPN. Through self-examination, improved editorial practices and controls, and response to constructive criticism, we will be better in the future” – ESPN

I’m sure Mr. Lin accepts your apology.  ESPN is the one major news/media outlet that has sent you on this trajectory of super stardom that doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon.  To Linsanity and Beyond my friends.

Let’s be real, the only one who can get away with writing as well as publishing this racist slander is a white male.  What if this was reversed?  “He eats his crackas right” No way Jose.  White chicos are running the show down at ESPN and running lots of other big shows in this society, in this world.  It is just unacceptable that this would even happen at this high level (maybe even the highest to some) of a Sports publications.  It is absurd to think people are not racist in this country.  Sad to say, racism will now and forever remain in our country and seep back into our mainstream culture in different ways once in a while whether it be music, fashion or sports.  It’s just pathetic that the alleged “major leader in sports” had this slip up.  Shame on you ESPN 😛  

The Few, The Proud, The Stoned

SooOOOOOoo some TCU players got busted for smoking the evil reefer.  A whopping total of 5 players, count em’ 5 PLAYERS.  1…2…3…..5….wait…..4….5… That is 5, right? ShooOOOoot pass the dutchie on the left hand side yo 😛

Another 11 players had trace amounts of marijuana in their systems, a quantity that is within the margin of error on the test (oh thank god).  86 players tested clean (nerds).

OMG TCU is going down in the books.  Look out Texas.  You had some players touch the forbidden green, which I dunno, I will try to give a ball park number, that probably more than 50% of college athletes partake in recreationally.  Forgive the necessary DUH moment.  Damn you Horned Frogs.  More like Stoned Frogs.  Sigh.  What a terrible joke.

Four players — junior linebacker Tanner Brock, junior safety Devin Johnson, junior defensive tackle D.J. Yendrey and sophomore offensive tackle Tyler Horn — were among 17 TCU students arrested on Wednesday in a drug sting, according to

There was a widespread rumor that 82 players on the TCU football squad failed a drug test.  Wow, more than half the team?  You guys must really need your chillax breaks from the blood sweat and tears your football coach demands of you day in and day out.  Silly me.  It was just a rumor.  So no harm no foul.

TCU Chancellor Victor J. Boschini Jr. also released a statement through the school.

“This has never been about who was using drugs or how many failed a drug test, therefore we will not release any results,” Boschini said. “Any student using drugs is one too many. Our students are primarily 18-21 years old. They come from all walks of life and they contribute to the University in different ways. Sometimes they make choices we don’t understand. We are proudest of them when they learn and grow from their mistakes. There is no doubt that students fall short from time to time, but we also know that they, as we, are committed to getting back up and moving forward.”

Well Said Vic.  I think everyone in the Sports World knows that from time to time (especially in college, when your young and are allowed and perhaps encouraged to be stupid) you will smoke pot.  The dreaded plant that will destroy your livelihood boys, LOOK OUT!  You will never be able to play football again.  Because when you are a college football player, you are not allowed to be stupid.  You have no time for that nonsense.  You are a disciplined young man who has a brighter future than the rest of those bums in school.  Leave the pot to rest of those economics majors and phi beta kappa losers.   They are going nowhere.  Let’s face it.

Now all we can do is listen to little kiddies of Musical Youth sing about smoking weed.  Enjoy!

NBA Azn Invasion= Linvasion

Linsanity, LinNation, the Yellow Mamba, Lintertainment, Linlightenment, LinPHOMA….(naw i just made that last one up)

All he does is LIN LIN LIN, a true Linderella story 🙂

And his personal favorite, Superlintendo.  The Asian Invasion has arrived.

Jeremy Lin.  This New York Knickerbocker is making quite the splash in Madison Square Garden.  Everybody can’t seem to shut up about this guy. And rightfully so.  He has one hell of a run, 8 game run to be exact.

Since the stars have aligned for this kid….especially when those two star on the Knicks are sitting out, Jeremy Lin has stepped it up to reinvigorate a fair weathered city who has been starving to reach basketball glory.  But isn’t all this hype a little much?  And why has it become such a crazy HUGE deal?

I didn’t catch wind of this Linsanity till the whole media jizzed in their pants over this guy.  (And sadly when the Knicks had a big win against my Lake show last Friday night 😦 sad face  )  Linsanity particularly blew up when famous celebrities and athletes took the twitter world by storm with their thoughts, praise, and some concerns about this Azn Invasion Mania.  

Aside from the praise (which he truly deserves and should enjoy), there was one comment I couldn’t wrap my head around.  And here comes Douche LORD.  UGH shut-up Floyd Mayweather.  You don’t even play basketball, just stick to your blood thirsty money hungry sport.  However, ESPN could not ignore his tweet: Jeremy Lin is a good player but all the hype is because he’s Asian. Black players do what he does every night and don’t get the same praise.  Sigh.  And this guy beats women too……..great.

Just wait……it gets better.  After Douche Lord tweeted this perhaps racist and just out of line comment, ESPN analysts went on to have a panel to discuss his tweet further: MAYWEATHER”S COMMENT, FAIR OR FOUL?  Really ESPN?!?! Don’t you have anything else to talk about?  Does this tweet even need to be even analyzed?  Of course it was FOUL.  How would this comment even be Fair?  Really ESPN?!  Blacks players don’t do the same thing every night that Lin does Mayweather because if they were they would make the top ten on Sports Center or get some coverage of their awesome possum recognition.  They wouldn’t shoot up to super stardom as quickly as Lin did nor have the media getting this Linsanity all twisted.  We all gotta recognize, Douche Lord wouldn’t be making this racial slurs if he wasn’t good.

There are a number of factors why Linsanity has become beyond Linsane in the Membrane.  He was a shelved player.  No one knew who this guy was or where he came from.  He came from Harvard……oh SNAP.  Everybody look out we got a Harvard grad on our hands.  Sorry NBA players, if you didn’t go to Harvard than you are just stupid, but hey you got game right?  Lin is of Chinese decent.  He is the first Chinese-American to make it in the NBA.  That is kinda of a big deal to some, especially those chilin’ on Canal Street in NYC.  And there is the big kahuna: NYC.  This is all happening because he is playing for the New York Knicks.  Lin’s #17 jersey is already selling out?  Desperate much NYC??  The big apple hasn’t seen a solid basketball team since 1994.  Lin has taken over.  All we have to do now is wait and see when Mello gets back in there.  Will they be awesomely nasty  or crumble?

Why is everyone worried about that?  No one shouldn’t be.  If you are a good player, especially a super star player than shouldn’t you be able to play with anyone to get those wins?  Mello isn’t a ball hog and Lin has a solid average in assists: 4 (I think).  Dude, Lin is legit.  The hype is a little much to swallow and maybe we haven’t seen Lin’s super stardom yet.  He isn’t a star, not yet.  The only noteworthy team the Knicks beat were the Lakers, who happen to have the worst road game record.  But the true test of time will be the Knicks upcoming schedule.  The Knicks are taking on Dallas, Miami, and Boston.  Yikes.  Will Lin be up to the challenge?  We will see.

Regardless of this Linsanity winning streak, all the hype will fade and fizzle.  Jeremy should just enjoy it and bask in all the glory that is Lintertainning the nation.  In the meantime, if you are in NYC.  Go watch a game in a bar on Canal Street.  That is probably a party you don’t wanna miss, plus grab some delicious dim sum while your out there 😀


The Pats get a Booyah

I have to say, that was an entertaining Super Bowl.  More entertaining than watching the Fat Ass rapist lose in the last Super Bowl……..seriously.

Eli Manning does it again.  Some are now calling him Mr. Clutch.  Maybe in football land, but in basketball land it is and forever will be D Fish.  Maybe now D Fish and Eli will become golfing buddies, go mud wrestling, punch each other in the face….i clearly don’t know what professional athletes do for fun.

There were so many good moments during the entire telecast.  The commercials gave us a few giggles but nothing made me pee my pants in laughter or moved me to tears with a boys and girls club endorsement.  But perhaps the best moment was the Mario Man’s catch in the 4th quarter.  You gotta just love those moments that make or break the game.  And Mario’s catch truly did.

I hope everyone was rooting for the G-men, because the Patriots are like the Yankees, you just get sick of seeing a team never lose.  You want to see some drama, some action, something other than shut out wins from a team.  Just seeing Billy Belichick’s face after the game was priceless.  That was an ugly mean face Disney World doesn’t even want to see on their door step.  Pish Posh Billy.  You win all the time, give the other teams in the NFL a chance to chillax out with Mickey Mouse and friends, ride Thunder Mountain and drown themselves in scrumptious churros.

Kudos to the Giants.  I unfortunately missed the Super Bowl in 2008, where Mr. Eli Clutch pulled off another upset over the Patriots.  I heard the other game was more of a nail bitter but what clearly put this 2012 game over the top was Greg Jones’ proposal to his sexy lady friend Mandy.  Who doesn’t love a proposal to an NFL football player?  She was busting out the teary-eyed busted face when het got down on one knee.  Fasho, that is a happy face.  ShoooOOOOooot.  Love is in the G-men air ❤ ❤



Douch Lord strikes again

UGH.  WHY.  Everyone and their mom wanted to see this fight go down like charlie brown.

So now the douch of the century, Floyd Mayweather, is fighting Miguel Cotto on May 5th at the ginormous MGM Grand.  According to the douche’s twitter account, “I’m fighting Miguel Cotto on May 5th because Miss Pac-Man is ducking me.”


Ugh, will this guy ever shut the f*ck up.  Douchiness aside, there is still hope for the Pac-Man and Lord Douche to meet in the fall for the show down of the year.   Apparently the deal wasn’t necessarily squashed according to Bob Arum, Pac Man’s promoter.

Really Bob?  Cuz it sounds like bitch ass Mayweather ain’t gonna see Pac-Man in the ring anytime soon.  We can all now point our fingers at Mr. Arum. According to Lance Pugmire’s article in the LATimes, Arum made a big deal of wanting to avoid a May 5 date so he could try to build an outdoor venue for the Mayweather beat down, but he knew Mayweather had a June 1 report-to-jail date (suck it yo), and that a fight of such magnitude did not absolutely require an extra month of publicity to boost pay-per-view sales, which would’ve been astronomical.

So it comes down to the dinero.  OF COURSE.  It always does.  Douche Lord did want a 60%cut from the supposed fight, leaving Pac-Man with on 40% in his pocket.  Don’t get me wrong, this was going to be a multi-million dollar for both parties, but since Mayweather is a douche lord and has douchey demands……sooo sad to say, there ain’t gonna be no douche beat down.

To add insult to injury Bob’s story continues…..

“Don’t you understand?” Arum said. “Mayweather told us not to deal with anyone unless he tells us to deal with them. If Mayweather said, ‘You deal with Richard Schaefer,’ we would do that. But I’m not going to call someone when Mayweather tells us, ‘Don’t negotiate with anyone unless I tell you.’ Schaefer had no contract with this guy. He’s absolutely overblowing his importance. He’s acting like he’s an indispensable guy, when he’s hired for a fee and not acting as a traditional promoter.”

 Richard Schaefer, Mayweather’s so-called promoter, made a mess of things as well.  Sounds like Douche Lord’s douchiness has rubbed off on his promoter.  EEEp.  Both promoters just didn’t know how to handle this “fight.”  Would have it been better if both fighters were in one room negotiating their deal instead?  Who knows.  That would have been a media field day, where the two guys wouldn’t even be fighting.  They would be sitting at dinky tables with giant microphones jammed in their faces, staring into each others’ blood thirsty eyes out to seek vengeance.  Wait, that does sound kinda sweet.
But then we would have to yet again listen to Douch Lord’s big ass mouth.  Please.  No.  Let us just stick to his Twitter Account from now on.