Perkinizzle got dropped foshizzle

This is a PhysIICAAALLLL GAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEEEEE. If you can, check out the crowd behind the basket , an old man wearing glasses and a light blue sweater.  He almost spilt his cerveza because he just witnessed some divine power. His expression takes the cake fasho.

Love it.  Blake Griffin does it again…..and again…..and again.  This beast is making everybody look bad and I love it.  Especially making Kendrick Perkins look bad.  That fool is a thug, straight up, a punk ass fool.  Nothing but love for the Thunder, Kevin Durant is awesome possum and James Harding looks like Marvin Gaye (how cool is that?!), but Kendrick Perkins is a douche with pubes for chin hair.  Ever since the Celtics, this guy has sucked at life.  Get a trim dude.  Nobody likes chin pubes. If the chicas don’t want to make out with you upstairs, they are not gonna want to make out with anything found downstairs yo.  Get a clue .  Oh, and just make Blake Griffin and all the other Power Fowards in the NBA look G.   

It was pretty cool to see Melissa Rohlin of the LA Times interview some of the Thunder players asking what they normally do when they roll into LA for their games.  Both James Harding and Reggie Jackson said they both come to LA to “just chill.”  YES.  Love how LA has become the place to “just chill.”  Go to the beach, eat good food, enjoy the perpetual sunlight… can’t beat LA.  I know there are other players out there who relish in the fact they have road games to LA.  Come on down, enjoy some sushi tacos and the warm sand.  You can check out the entire video on this link:

This Laker fan has yet to jump ship to the Clipper band wagon but Blake Griffin makes it a bit difficult to not cheer for the Clip show.  They will definitely be contenders for the Western Conference (please ignore the Lakers ::gulp::).  You gotta admit, the Lakers aren’t defeating a team with the best record in the NBA.  Very explosive.

Sigh.  I just hope the Lakers put up a good enough fight come crunch time.  

No longer your precious now Biatch!

Apparently everybody wants a piece of Los Doyers. Magic Johnson, Mark Cuban, Peter’Omalley, Joe Torre…..the list goes on.  There were more than 10 opening bids for the team on the January 23rd deadline.

Bidders are supposedly considering partnerships not only to pool money but to enhance the expertise among groups by pairing, like Magic Johnson with a smarty pants financier or a richer than Jesus investment banker with a Sports Executive.  Best of Both World si?  Anybody but Frank McCourt who drove the Doyers franchise to the ground.

(Well except the introduction of the Mexican Doyer dog in concession stands.  I haven’t had it yet but god damn… sounds freakin’ delicious)  

Doesn’t that look orgasmically delicious?!?!  Ugh i want one now.  Something to look forward to in April fasho.

Outgoing Owner, aka the spawn of satan, Frank McCourt is expecting the Doyers to sell for at least $1.5 billion.  SHOOOOooooOOoot.  The Doyers are a BILLION dollar franchise?!  No freaking way.  Will that be enough for Frank McCourt to get the hell outta LA and stay out for good?   Sadly, it doesn’t sound like it.   The spawn of satan sounds like he wants to stick around and hang on to the smallest  amount of the Doyers franchise he can get his greedy little hands on.

Frank McCourt might keep the Doyer’s parking lots.  Really?!?!!  If McCourt hang onto those parking lots, he will be the landlord and potential developer of the land surrounding Doyer stadium.  Sigh.  In order to get McCourt to even sell the team, Major League Baseball agreed to grant him ‘sole and absolute discretion’ over whether to keep or sell the land.  McCourt would only make a lousy $14 million off these bad boy lots. Good GOD NO. UGH, just sell a hand full of  your multi million 10 homes (especially the ones located in LA), I am sure you can spare some.

Some say McCourt could try and develop the land in a way to rehabilitate his civic image.  Ummm let’s think about this…HELL to the NO fool!!

All of LA is hoping he will sell the parking lots so he will get the f*ck out of our fair city and never come back.  Luckily, most bidders are expected to ask McCourt to include the land in the sale, a negotiable tactic.  Yea bidders, just hire the Sopranos to make that negotiation.  The sweeter the deal fasho.

Frank McCourt, nobody wants to see you stay in LA.  Go back to Beantown or where ever you came from and never come back.  McCourt could be a nice guy, who really knows.  But all of LA fasho has only seen your dark side.  The Doyers are like the one ring to rule us all and has turned McCourt into an evil bottom feeder creature.  This ring, the Doyers, has poisoned your mind and will give you a unaturally long life if you choose to hang onto it.  Who wants to live that long when nobody likes you?

Frankie, here some advice:  Just watch yourself in The Two Towers over and over again and repeat that message to your evil self (the Doyer self) so it will never leave that thick skull of yours. “LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!”

A Legend Falls

The unthinkable just happened.  A man who we thought would never leave State College, PA (even after the University kicked him to the curb) has left.  The legendary Football Coach of Penn State University, Joe Pa, has died at age 85.

His doctors claim that Joe Pa died of a ‘treatable’ lung cancer.  But I think everybody can safely say that Joe Pa died of a broken heart.  A heart that was torn to pieces by the Jerry Sandusky scandal that has forever tainted the university and all those involved.

Now what do we make of Joe Pa and his legacy?  Paterno, in his 46th season at Penn State had earned career win no. 409 with the Nittany Lions, coming in as the second most winningest coach in college football.  The University has a statue of Paterno with a plaque that reads :”Joe Paterno. Educator of Men. Winningest Coach. Division One Football.”  Doesn’t that mean something? 

Of course it means something.  It should mean the WORLD to any coach.  It is just a shame that Joe Pa’s last chapter will forever be engrained in our minds. The sports world wants remember Joe Pa in a positive light, yet there will always be that looming “but.”  The “but” that ended Joe Pa’s career.  The “but” that unfolded one of the worst college football scandals.

Everyone, including Paterno, agreed: He should have done more.  So he didn’t.  It was a mistake.  A mistake that unfortunately was broadcasted for the entire world to see.  A mistake that involved horrible and grotesque circumstances that wasn’t beyond anyones control to stop.  Sigh.  “I didn’t know exactly how to handle it,” Paterno said in an interview with the Washington Post. “And I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was. So I backed away and turned it over to some other people, people I thought would have a little more expertise than I did. It didn’t work out that way.

A man of such greatness overtime should not have fallen so fast.  The University should have ended his career in more respectful fashion. Maybe he should have retired earlier?  He was an 85-year-old coach.  Some people can’t even function past the age of 82, but this guy managed to successfully run an entire football program that the entire state of Pennsylvania supported.  We can coulda woulda shoulda’s till the cows come home when it comes to Joe Pa.

Everything Joe Pa was put through these past 3 months hasn’t been easy to grasp, leaving him with a tarnished reputation.  A tarnished reputation he could no long live with.  This isn’t the way it was supposed to end.

Perhaps our questions will never be answered because we won’t be able to listen to Joe Pa’s side of the story again.  But I think all college football fans should….just for a mere moment…..forget about Paterno’s last chapter and look past it.  I am not saying forget the past, let the past be the past, hell no.  I just think one of Joe Pa’s last requests from his fans would be to remember his legacy and remember his deep love and respect for Penn State and it’s college football program.

Let us remember Joe Pa the way he wanted to be remembered, the way the University wanted him to be remembered, the way the Sports World wanted him to be remembered.


Justice has been served?

Fat Ass Ben Rothlisberger’s lawyers and the woman who he raped at a Lake Tahoe Casino in 2008 have reached a settlement that ends her civil lawsuit against the Steelers quarterback. This ought to be interesting.

Cal Dunap, the Reno lawyer representing the victim (and if your asking yourself who the victim is, get off my blog now) confirmed the settlement on Friday but declined to discuss the terms of agreement, “The matter has been resolved and I have no further comment. All parties have reached a resolution of all claims and counterclaims.”

David Cornwell, Roethlisberger’s lawyer, did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment on Friday. His agent, Ryan Tollner, said neither he nor Roethlisberger would have any comment.  ShooOOOOooot.  Why not boys?

The woman (the VICTIM) was working as a VIP hostess at the ever so classy Harrah’s casino when Rothlisberger allegedly lured her to his room to “fix his television.”  By television he means his penis.  

Rothlisberger denied the allegations.  Well DUH.  The woman said she never filed a criminal complaint because she feared Harrah’s would side with Roethlisberger and she would be fired.  Sigh.  No worries chica,  he got what he deserved.  A tarnished reputation that will never recover.  This isn’t the first time he partied it up with ladies he can take advantage of.  Just listen to this awesome possum song in this video dedicated to the Fat Ass Ben and his wicked ways.

Even if he wins four more super bowls, football fans everywhere will always know the real fat ass rapist you are.

The original lawsuit filed in 2009 sought a minimum of $440,000 in damages from the quarterback, at least $50,000 in damages from the Harrah’s officials and an unspecified amount in punitive damages.  Unspecified amount you say?  Eduardo Saffron received unspecified amount in punitive damages from Mark Zuckerberg from their Facebook lawsuit.  Good GOD, I hope she got more from the Fat Ass.  He needs to pony up everything he has to all the ladies he has taken advantage of or even looked at the wrong way because he is a rapist.  He is a criminal and a horrible human being who happens to be the fattest professional quarterback in the NFL.  

Thank GOD Tebow and the Broncos took out Fat Ass Ben and the Steelers.  Maybe some of Tebow’s good Christian ways will teach Fat Ass Ben a lesson or two.  Throw more touchdowns and Stop raping WOMEN!

Ring Ring

So Floyd Mayweather Jr. decided to place a collect call to the Philippines to his dearest and oldest boxing buddy, Manny Pacquiao.  He just wanted to catch up and ask if Manny’s fridge is running alright.  

Giggle.  As expected, Floyd was all business (in his usual douche-bag pompous way).  It is just oh so very convenient that Mayweather had his 87 day jail sentence postponed until early June to set up the fight of the century.  Wait…. fight of the century?  Really?  I know everybody wants to see this fight just to see Manny stick it to Mayweather…..but i wouldn’t go so far as to call it the fight of the century.

Mayweather provided the details of his pow wow with Manny in an email sent to ESPN anchor Stan Verrett. “I called him and asked him about us fighting May 5 and giving the World what they want to see.  I also let him know we both can make a lot of money. He ask about a 50/50 split and I told him no that can’t happen, but what can happen is you can make more money fighting me then you have made in your career. I also let him know I’m in control on my side but he needs to get on the same page with his promoter so we can make this fight happen.”

50/50 can’t happen?  Why Floyd?  What gives?  Just because you happen to be an undefeated fighter who will stop at nothing to win, even if that calls for dirty fighting, cheating, and beating down your woman once in a while.  It keeps you focused, we get it.

Floyd doesn’t shut up, “I told him to tell his promoter that he only wants to fight Mayweather and that this fight will be the biggest fight in history. His manger came to my boxing gym a few months ago and we spoke about getting the defamation of character lawsuit dropped against me and about both fighters taking the random blood and urine test. I spoke to his manager again last night about the same thing. The call last night lasted 15 or 20 minutes. I mainly spoke to his manager he got on and off the phone real quick.”

Manny got on and off the phone because he just wants to stop talking and slap the bitch out of you Mayweather.  It’s going to be the biggest fight of the year (not history, your kidding yourself) fasho, making millions for both fighters.  Two fighters considered to be the best of the best.  ShooOOOOoot we all want to see this fight happen.  It would generate $100 million dollars into the ailing Las Vegas Economy.  How about the ailing country’s economy?!  A nice solid chunk of change.  Sweet.

According the Mayweather,  the only one stopping this fight from happening is Manny’s promoter, Bob Arum.  He has said he wants to make the fight happen but has given numerous reasons why it can’t be on May 5.  He has proposed the fight to be on May 26 in order to construct a temporary near the Las Vegas Strip to fit 40,000 spectators, which is double the capacity of the MGM Grand Garden Arena (the biggest casino on the Las Vegas Strip only fits a puny 17,000).  That put some more mills in everybody’s pocket.



Mayweather has even gone to his Twitter Account to address Manny.  Because Manny fasho is checking his phone every other minute when seated in Congress discussing the economic environment of the Philippines.  “Shooot Mayweather wants to fight?  Snap, fellow Congressmen, I gotta skidaddle.  Mayweather just called me a ‘Punk.’ It’s on like donkey kong now.  But no worries!  I will bring back the Vegas winnings to the motherland and all will be well.”

It would be beyond cool beans if Manny won.  It would definitely put Mayweather in his place, a place where the sun don’t shine.  If Manny won, he would give back.  He serves as a Congressman in the Philippines.  Mayweather wouldn’t even be allowed on the steps of Congress. Can we wait till May?  Sounds like we will have to.

The Clutch D FISH

D FISSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH.  He is the man.  The Clutch man.  THE CLUTCH of man.  Good God he puts the shiz back in the Lakers when they truly and desperately need it.  He has always been CLUTCH for the Lake show.  Love this GUY.

Derek Fisher scored the game winning 3 point shot against the NBA champs, The Dallas Mavericks, making it a 73-70 victory over a team that swept them out of the playoffs last year.  This one game is making all of LA, as well as the Lakers franchise (Mr. MITCH), realize why the team kept hold of this veteran.  Yea remember?!  The team was in talks of trading DFISH when that whole CP3 fiasco took place.  ShooOOOOOooot.

He is cementing his Laker legacy as Mr. Clutch.  YES.  Aside from the clutchness, I think Mitch wanted to hang onto him because he is the only player on the Lakers who can still put Kobe in his place.  At 37 years old, he is Papa Fisher taking care of all his little basketball ducklings.  How cute.   

In Ben Bolch’s article in the LATimes, he interviewed DFISH about the game and how he hones is awesome possum clutchness, ” I mean, this is what I do. When opportunities like that present themselves, I’m confident in my abilities to step up and make the right play, whether it’s making a shot or making a read to create something for someone else.”

The Lakers haven’t been the best in the west in this rushed NBA 2012 season.  It has been a bit of a slow start but they might be getting back to contending for the Title…?  Naw let’s not go nuts.  Most likely contending for the Western Conference.  Kobe has only been scoring a measly 40 points these past few games.  Geeze Kobe.  Give the rest of the team a chance.  And in comes D FISHHHHHHHHHH with 9 points and 2 steals.  Not yet double digits, but hey he is working on it.  He is one step behind the rest of the team due to his Presidential duties of the Player’s Association during the NBA lockout.  Thanks to DFISH, us sports fans get to watch some CLUTCH NBA games because of all his hard work.

I don’t know about the rest of LA, but that was a very classy way to welcome back Lam Lam Odom to Staples Center as a Maverick.  When Lam Lam checked into the game, all of Staples center gave him a standing ovation including the Lakers.  You just got chills when it happened.  It was an emotional moment.  So emotional, the cameraman who works for TNT focused on Mitch Kupchak and his facial expression.  Good GOD WHY?  He is the reason Lam Lam demanded to be traded.  You should have only focused on him if all of Staples was throwing garbage in his general direction.  If you are a die-hard Lam Lam fan, Kupchak is clearly the devil.  That standing ovation was probably a BIG SUCK it from Lamar to Mitch (you saw the smirk oh his face, just watch the video below).  He done Lam Lam wrong and everybody knows it.  What a douche.  Hopefully Lam Lam is happy in Dallas. All of LA still misses and LOVES you Lamar, don’t you forget it.

Nobody Likes Dirty Sanchez

Nobody likes Mark Sanchez..?!??!  Ahhhh say it aint so?

Some are coming forward to express their not so nice feelings about Mark Sanchez and his comfortable role as the New York Jet’s Quarterback.   These some are his own teammates.   YES

Finally there are others out there that despise Mark Sanchez as much as I do (and anybody else out there who dislikes men who take advantage of the ladies…..these were probably crunk college chicas but hey, that doesn’t make it right Dirty Sanchez, they deserved your utmost respect…you being a Man of Troy).  Yes he made Pete Carroll cry, but he had only one great game at SC in the Rose Bowl against Penn State that put him at the top of the 2009 draft.  He got lucky.  It felt like he used SC in his douche-bag ploy to become an NFL pretty boy.  Well maybe he will finally get what is coming to him 🙂 🙂 🙂

Apparently Mark Sanchez has been “babied” by the Jet’s organization and believes the team should import a veteran quarterback to push the former first round pick next season.  Push meaning to encourage Dirty Sanchez to improve and play more effectively.  Yea RIGHT.  Push should mead to push his ass out and sit him on the bench.  Push Dirty Sanchez back to the practice squad and improve the other incoming quarterbacks, boost up their self esteems, not his own.  Sanchez doesn’t need it, he is a self-centered butt face.

Even his teammates agree with that particular sentiment.  Some unnamed players have called him, “lazy” and “content.”  The only NFL quarterback who should feel lazy is Fat Ass Ben Roethlisberger because he is soo fat.  But with diet and exercise, his fatness will vanish.  Roethlisberger’s douche-bag qualities will remain but his fat will be gone, hence he will not be so inclined to pull the lazy card on the field.  Dirty Sanchez on the other hand is a douche through and through.

According to New York’s Daily News Report, a few Jet players campaigned for the team to try to acquire Peyton Manning this offseason.  ShoooOOOooot.  Now that would be something.  Ain’t gonna happen but that will always be the dream 🙂

Jet’s tackle Damien Woody agrees that Dirty Sanchez is being “babied” by the organization but has come out to speak to the media to defend his teammate.  What a guy.  He believes Dirty Sanchez deserves one more year on the team, “one more year to see if the guy can be the future, and if it doesn’t happen, it’s time to look for another direction.”  You are being generous Mr. Woody.  I do agree with you about the Jet’s organization though.  More specifically this awesome possum quote from Woody’s interview with the Daily News, “But the organization really tries to baby him and protect him as far as the media’s concerned. When you’re playing quarterback in New York, you have to have tough skin and have to be able to stand up to the criticism. When things are going great, you’re going to be a god in this city. But when things aren’t going well, you still have to be able to man up and take it all. I think the organization can do a better job of letting the man be a man and stand up and take the bullets like all the other players.”



So basically Dirty Sanchez can’t handle NYC and needs to get the f*ck out.  I LOVE IT.  I rather don’t like the Jets and their obnoxious fans but THIS I can agree on.  Maybe it is the Jet’s fault for ignoring what is really wrong with the team (::cough DIRTY SANCHEZ::) and covering up the obvious.  But why would they do that?  Do you really love Dirty Sanchez that much?  He isn’t a pretty boy where you get lost in his eyes….give me a break.  This is hardcore merciless Football.  Kick some ass on and off the field, starting with Dirty Sanchez.  Just see what a little bitch Dirty Sanchez is in this video from a game against the Bills, doesn’t seem to have enough kick ass to be on the football field at all.  God, what a Dirty Sanchez bitch.



It should be noted that the Jets are a defensive team, meaning that their defense wins games, making Sanche’z transition to the pros a bit of an easy task.  He wasn’t the one putting up the points and winning the games.  That’s alright, every team is different.  Joe Flacco on the Ravens is doing alright for himself down in Baltimore, always remembering to check his balls at the Ray Lewis door. But it works.  Sanchez and the Jets……yea not so much.

I can only pray that Dirty Sanchez gets scared so straight that he would have to catch his breath on the bench this upcoming season.  Let’s see if the Jets acquire a Quarterback from the draft in April or through a possible trade.  That would wipe off that stupid smirk on Dirty Sanche’z GQ face.

Full Daily News Article, Read more:

Suck on that SEC

Justice has been served……I guess.

The relentless defense of the Crimson Tide defeated LSU 21-0 in the Bowl Championship Series Game (in Baton Rouge no less……HA, great job Les Miles).  I guess you could say it was a good game, somewhat more entertaining than the last time they met.  But then again, these two teams have already met with LSU defeating the Tide 9-6 on November 5 (gotta give a shout out to the kickers for that one).  Hey must have been a hell of a game, it made Nick Saban crack a smile= WoW.

It was nice to see the Tide step it up and shut down the Tigers and better yet, the Honey Badger.  Seriously, the Honey Badger didn’t take what he wanted last night.  I was disappointed. Lo siento Mathieu, but I don’t think that nickname will stay with you once you enter the NFL.  There will be far more Honey Badgers, Mastodons, Saber Toothed Tigers, and all the other ultimate badasses of the jungle in the NFL.

Did you know that the trophy Bama will now be displaying in their athletic offices, the crystal football, is worth $30,000.  ShooOOOOoot.  Thank the LORD the Buckeyes weren’t competing for the National Championship because if they had won, the players would have pawned that trophy fasho in exchange for some black light mood color changer tattoos that can do your laundry and wash your car.  And maybe a lifetime supply of easy mac for those hungry hard-working football players.  Seriously, $30,000??  

The only criticism I have about the game is the BCS’s choice for the Offensive Player of the Game Award ( aka MVP),  AJ McCarron, Bama’s quarterback. In hindsight, he deserved but he didn’t score a touchdown until the fourth quarter (4 minutes and 36 seconds left in the game to be exact).  That touchdown was the first touchdown Alabama has scored against LSU all year.  Yikes.  But the real player putting up the points for the Tide was their kicker Jeremy Shelly, who kicked 5 field goals before the touchdown ever took place.  15 points were put on the board because of Shelly, not the quarterback.  To be fair, the quarterback assisted the kicker to reach field goal position.  But remember last time, if the kicker doesn’t make the field goals, then there are no points and no point mean no win  😦  Never in a million years would any bowl game association, let alone the BCS, give the Offensive Player of the Game Award to a kicker.  Sad.  Too Bad, Shelly, maybe you would have gotten some more action on sorority row next semester……well,for a kicker.

So what does this say about the SEC conference?  Can we all say, OVERRATED.  Seriously.  The SEC conference isn’t the best conference in the land of college football. They aren’t so mighty.  They aren’t so tough. I think SEC fans can safely say that they have watched more compelling things, like watching how ice is made, than last night’s game.  So will this game shut everybody up now?  Will this now stop the over-hyped drooling and noise from the SEC?  Probably not, but at least we can shove it back in their faces if they get out of line.

So will there be a tie you ask?? Knowing Les Miles, he would.  He has done it in the past with USC even when they didn’t compete in the National Championship, so what would stop him now when his team has actually played in the National Championship game and has already beat the Bama Champs back in November.  He should be ashamed of himself.  His team only passed the 50 yard line once, only had 5 first down conversions,  92 totaled yards….so clearly they just suck at life……and WE LOVE IT.   

So this is college football’s grand conclusion for the 2011 season. Yawn.  You have to be either sad or mad,mad or sad, or both = a raging biatch.  Hopefully the BCS is swallowing a hard dose of their own medicine.  Stop sucking up to the SEC (they suck and now the whole country knows) and really review your punishments before handing them out.  Maybe if you actually did that, your championship game would have scored a touchdown in the first quarter…..but what do I know?  Nobody wants to see touchdowns, they are boring and put up only 6 points, 3 points is way more exciting.

How about USC-LSU showdown?  Now that would be amazeballs.  If Les had any say, that would never happen.  He knows his Tigers amazingly inept team has no chance against SC and the glorious return of Matty Barkely.  That would shut up the SEC now and (hopefully ) forever.

Here is to the new 2012 season.  May it be free of mishap, controversy, and the SEC.

Roll Tide Forest

Alright, Alright.  I despise both Alabama’s coach and LSU’s coach, Nick Saban and Les Miles, but when it comes down to it, you have to choose a winner over the other in tonight’s BCS National Championship matchup.  It’s Terminator baby, JUDGEMENT DAY.  So who you gonna choose, the tiger or the elephant?  The grass eater or the man who is just unable to smile?

Ugh.  I am solely picking Bama because their players aren’t thugs (or at least haven’t been caught yet) and Forest Gump was once on their team.  How can you root against Forest?

I believe Bama is favored by 3 points over LSU.  Wow.  Really?  A field goal….look how well that turned out last time.  Yea, not so good.  Bama missed 4 consecutive field goals against LSU last time they met, which cost them the game.  So in retrospect, Bama were the true-blue winners all along.

LSU can suck it.  Les Miles is a douche who openly eats grass on national television and one of their cornerback players who was up for the Heisman, Tyrann Mathieu, is nicknamed the Honey Badger because he is just CRAZEEEEEEE.  He just takes what he wants…..well except the Heisman…..oh SNAP.

The narrator of the youtube sensation, Randall, told the Associated Press he is pulling for LSU to win the National Championship.  Well forgive me but….DUH.  Why would he root for Bama when “nature’s badass” is on the opposing team. Randall isn’t go against his own viral internet video.  The Honey Badger Don’t Care.

That being said, who really knows who is going to go home with the BCS title.  All I know is that if Les Miles doesn’t win the championship, he will squirm in and whine his way into the BCS offices and have the head haunchos announce a shared title, like he did with USC back in 2005. Do us a favor Les,  go eat some more grass and choke a little during Bama’s field goal attempts tonight, then maybe the real honey badgers will come out to play.

Jesus is fasho a Buckin’ Bronco

Did you watch that game, Broncos vs. Steelers?  How could Tebow play like that (and win like that) without Jesus on his side?  Instead of sporting the generic white play band on his left arm Tebow opted for a “What Would Jesus Do” bracelet.

By all means, nobody should be rooting for the tub of lard rapist Ben Roethlisberger.  Don’t you want to keep your soul?  If you do root for the fattest quarterback in the NFL, move out of Pittsburgh or just start rooting for another fatty on the team, you have about 50 players to choose from. I don’t care if he was playing with an injured ankle…..his injury is taking so long to recover because he is fat.  His ankles are no good because they can’t support his fatness.  Gross.  Double chins belong in pie eating contests Big Ass Ben, not on the football field.  

Gotta thank John Elway for telling Tebow to “Pull the Trigger.”  Couldn’t have done it without ya John.  You do have as much pull as Jesus on the football field, you are indeed a pig-skin God.  Pulling off the upset over the Steelers was truly Tebow’s finest hour.

Tebow threw the game winning touchdown pass to Demaryius Thomas, a measly 80 yards, on the first play of overtime and the Broncos defeated the stunned Pittsburgh Steelers 29-23 in the AFC wild card game on Sunday.  The play only took 11 seconds, one of the quickest endings to an overtime NFL game…ShoooOOOooot.  Gotta thank the big guy upstairs for helping out not just Tebow but also Thomas.  That was a burly run by Thomas, stiff-arming Pittsburgh’s cornerback Ike Taylor and outrunning backup safety Ryan Mundy to the end zone.

The Broncos are now heading to New England to take on the almighty Patriots on Saturday night.  The Patriots destroyed the Broncos last month, 41-23, sending the sacred Tebow into the depths of hell.  He had 7 turnovers.  Better cleanse that soul of yours Tebow before this weekend.  You can’t win with 7 turnovers.

So everybody who wants to see the Broncos reach the promise land, Super Bowl XLVI, better pull a couple of Tebows before you go to bed, before you go to work, before that coffee break, before handball, before those piano lessons, and DEFINITELY before you go to bed.  Because if the Broncos win… BEST pray that the Lord shall smite down Satan……oh wait, and all the haters.