Who can compete with Darth Vadar? NOBODY. He is THE Badass of all time, the one villain you do not want to cross paths with. He can kill you in more ways than one without even touching you. ShoooOOoot.
But his sheer awesomeness will be displayed by the Oregon Ducks this year at the Rose Bowl, January 2. The Ducks have strategically decided to début the latest Niko Pro Combat gear that claims to be the most advanced football uniform system in the world. These uniforms will include larger, bolder numbers with an iridescent sheen similar to that of a mallard duck’s feathers….or Lord Vadar’s coat.
The coolest part of the uniform has to be the helmet. With Darth Vadar, it was all about the helmet…and the cape, but you can’t wear a cape in college football, that would just be too sweet….. and unnecessary deaths. The Nike designers placed the big traditional Oregon “O” on top-middle of the helmet, creating a hal-O effect which offsets the sinister Vadar vibe….LOVE IT.
Apparently it’s the scariest shiz to come out in College Football since Jaba the Hut. Jaba the Hut, let’s just say, graced our presence in South Bend not too long ago, pure fatness concealed in an oversized sweatshirt that isn’t even sold in the Student Store, because it had to be especially made by the Dark Side.
The other badass villains that can’t be ignored are any players from the University of Miami, 1984-1991. They were pretty badass, soo bad that the NCAA had to make new and stricter regulations on unsportsmanlike conduct. That is pretty badass.
If you are a Star Wars fans or even an admirer of one of the best cinematic villains of all time, you will want to catch a glimpse of these new Oregon uniforms. During the College Football season, it’s a trip to watch Oregon play every week, sporting different and sleek uniforms. It seems like Oregon’s Athletic Department spends more money on their Football team’s uniforms than on any of the other sports teams. Sorry badminton, better luck next year.
It will be pretty intimidating to play against Darth Vadar uniforms.
Let’s see if those Wisconsin badgers can harness their inner Honey Badger this Sunday and be the true badass of the game and just take what they want, a Rose Bowl.
A fugs uniform that has to be mentioned are the new Miami Marlins. Good GOD are they fugs. They are the Rainbow Brite team, defending the Miami land from Murky and Lurky, the bad guys who want to spread fear and darkness in the land. Well fear not Technicolor, the Miami Marlins are here to the rescue. Seriously, butt fugs ugly uniforms.
The new LA Kings uniforms are pretty busted too. They got rid of the best color, PURPLE. Why? Purple is awesome. It has been working for Laker nation…..well I may be speaking too soon here….but the color purple has been sported in LA for the past 25 years. We ain’t complaining. I guess the clubhouse wanted to go back to the old black and silver colors the team had in 1988. Hey! Just like the Raiders….another badass team. I just don’t agree with the enlarged LA crest over the traditional King’s crown logo. Everybody already hates LA dude, why bring more attention to it?
Sporting new uniforms is always a nice break away from the past an opens a door into the future. Hopefully that future doesn’t contain a dismal losing season. Well, my vote is always for the #1 Badass. I guess we will just have to wait and see who that truly is.